Alright, I was young... not sure how young, but pretty young. I had recently gotten a pair of briefs that I thought were the coolest thing on Earth. They were white with a bright green trim around the edges. Somehow, the color green made me feel native. I saw the green on my underwear and decided they were Tarzan underwear. They weren't, but the green had me confused apparently.

So, anyway... in our neighborhood lived a girl that my brothers and I were always going to the mattresses with. My brothers and I had this war raged against this girl and her girl friend. It was the ultimate battle of the younger sexes. Or at least, that's the way my young mind imagined it. It must have all been based on cooties, I'm sure. However, that's another story.

One day, my brothers and I were outside, meeting with the girl of which we waged our war. It must have been the signing of the treaty; I remember it being a huge day, because we were all talking and getting along. Odds are Andrew, my eldest brother, finally realized that girls weren't that bad and convinced Micah and me. So, we're standing there talking and it all came winding down. In this moment, I saw my opportunity to officially show friendship to this poor girl, so I couldn't resist...

I dropped my pants and showed off my Tarzan underwear. Ah, yes. I was so happy to show them off. But, that smile soon left me when I turned and saw our dad running from the house shouting, "Put your pants back on!" I did. And as I did, I realized that no one was amused. Soon after, I learned that dropping your pants in public is not a good thing... much less in front of girls. But, more tragically, I learned that it wasn't Tarzan underwear. After that, my memories of the green and white underwear that once made me feel so proud are few and far between.

So, here's to you whitey and greeny tighties, you rocked my world and shocked a girl!

Copyright 2007 Nathan Weaver
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