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"Where the **** are the yellow banana's?" The captain screamed this phrase to all of us, his men. "They're coming in from all around us and I need those ******* banana's!"
I quickly covered my ears. It seemed as though some sort of lame God that's only sort of omnipotent was summoning explosions all around us. We were in the middle of a war in Tape Dod. Oh, by the way. Banana's are toxic in Tape Dod, and are often used as chemical grenades.
"Peel off the skin, you idiot!" The captain screamed at the man standing next to me. "The potassium shoots out that way. If we're lucky, it'll blind 'em and we'll havbe a chance to launch a counterstrike. Duck!"
Normally, "Duck!" Means that someone launched a missile in our direction, but in this particular case, there was a small white, feathered animal valiantly leaping into our bunker. At the shout of the captain, the dozen of us scattered. Ducks are vicious.
I was running away from the duck. I was actually getting away! But eventually I tripped on what was left of Captain Jake's banana and landed in a face full of daffodils. They smelled horrible!
"Get up! Get up! It's gaining on us!" O heard the captain shout. He was ahead of me. I could hear the deafening and ominous "Quack!" of the little white foe.
I quickly jumped to my feet and ran into a field of Fruit Booters. This was the place I want to be! A Fruit Booter is an army term for a soldier with cherry toes and gummy heels. They scared the ducks away with wet teeth. Hurrah!
But the real problem was still at hand. One mile away, in the enemy castle, there is a princess. A silver haired turd blossom with ruby lips and a cute sapphire thong. Her smile could shave a man's pubic hairs right off. We must get to her in time!
I braced myself for the most daring assault ever attempted by man. I strapped on my Adidas running antlers and gave myself an extra spray of Skunk Deoderant. Then I leaped over the bunker wall and ran like the Dickens! All I could see was pink all around me. The delicious blood of Smurfhead Waffles was smeared all over the blue earth. Even the sky was frowning with disbelief (not literally, you ninny!). I kept running, and dodging, and jumping, and pole vaulting across the Wormsand so harshly that my knees gave out at the end of the trip and I had to take a break for 2 or 3 hours.
I washed up, brushed my teeth, got a good hot shower, and continued the journey.
I opened the big green door to the randomly guarded fortress of the Tribu de Cowlick Sans. I chose the right door and came face to face with the princess herself. Finally, we were all saved by this beautiful and somewhat erotic mistress of the Wormsand Salt Flat Mountains!
I did what any good soldier would have done in my position. I whipped out my shotgun and pulled the trigger on her ******* face! Never again would we face the terror as great as when Princess ***** ruled over our planet! Hurrah!

Copyright 2007 DJ
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