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A Ticket to Tewkesbury

A Ticket to Tewkesbury by Philip Neale, writing as...

Elijah

The distant door closed shut behind him with a click....

Written by Jessica S,A.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

I close my eyes to the evil within,
From the suffering and the sin,
That is my release and power in me.

I close my mouth from the curse,
I don't know what will be the worse,
The suffering or the pain, the sin, in me.

I close my mind against what is real, from all the anger and torment that I feel, as I face up to the monster that stirs within me.

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Comments (10)

Posted by Sylviap 2008-09-18 01:01:27 .... I liked this. It was quick and well written. I like short and sweet. I like the internal fight we all face inside of ourselves. We all have this constant angel vs devil situation going on in our heads and I liked how you worded it. Good job :) + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-09-18 14:45:48 .... Good one Jess. I liked how it was short and to the point. You didn't dilly dally, or beat around the bush. Keep up the writing and dont ever get frustrated =] + Report this comment
Posted by allmine 2008-09-18 19:39:35 .... Short and sweet but left me wanting more. Is the sin in her something that she has done, witnessed, sensed, seen? Or are you portraying a more demonic theme here. What you have is fantastic, I just need like one more stanza + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-09-19 06:57:14 InMe Short and sweet. A little puzzle and enigma for the reader, but the puzzle and enigma of looking inward is hard to crack anyway. Left me wondering, which, in this case, I consider to be a good thing. (for a change!) Harmattan + Report this comment
Posted by allmine 2008-09-19 08:02:52 .... The third stanza helps. Now I see and correct me if I am wrong, that she has anger that lives in her, and it is coming out? Or are you portraying a demon as in a demon? I know, I ask too many damn questions. Cause all in all I really like this poem. + Report this comment
Posted by Ashutosh 2008-09-23 03:51:37 .... Yea, short and sweet, but also somewhat deep. Good poem. And it also rhymed. Great work! + Report this comment
Posted by Amatayo 2008-09-24 21:21:34 .... this was not my kind of poem. errrrrrrr + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-09-25 08:52:42 .... Not bad. You were able to capture an emotional state in a short piece of work. I didn't even see the words at the far right of the page until reading the poem a second time. Did you mean to do this? + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-10-02 16:37:18 .... I thought you articulated the need to supress the harsh feelings inside you quite well. At least that's what I'm assuming you were going for. Liked the length. Good work. + Report this comment
Posted by Ruby Whispers 2008-11-02 16:50:41 Good impact. I liked this one too. No line was wasted. Our conscience can be the toughest opponent we have sometimes. Not sure how evil the evil was that you were fighting though. ;) + Report this comment

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Last Updated ( Friday, 19 September 2008 )

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