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He Comes Upon a Wish, Chapter 1


This story may contain adult content.
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Written by Nathan Weaver   
Monday, 15 September 2008

 INTRODUCTION

"And thither will I straight to visit him: He comes upon a wish.
Fortune is merry, And in this mood will give us any thing."
(from The Tragedy of Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare)


Make a wish.
Make any wish.

So long as it's honest.

So long as it's dark and evil.
Make that wish and he'll be there.


Do it halfhearted and your wish will come back on you sevenfold.

Make no mistakes, you don't summon him unless you mean it.

Unless you are willing to pay the price...

... and his services can be mighty expensive, Stranger.

Make no mistakes about it. 
Make no mistakes.

 

CHAPTER 1 : Canyon City

In the winter of 1886, Canyon City was beaten with the wrath of God (as some call it; others call it snow). But the winter of 1887 was different, as the townsfolk would soon find out, for snow was the least of their worries.

A mere 40 years earlier, the west was sold on the promise of gold and natural craters in the earth (or canyons) flowing with water that was clearer than any water you had ever seen or could even imagine. With these thoughts in mind, a group of families journeyed westward and knowing little of where they were going ended up in the north; far from canyons and far from gold. But they settled nonetheless and named it Canyon City, despite their geographical error.

Canyon City was far from booming by 1887. To be just short of rude, it was pathetic. The town consisted of a family-owned saloon, general store, barber, bank and church. There was also a stagecoach business run by the Jenkins twins. They would take people from Kansas City to Canyon City and then to San Fransisco and then back the other way. They bragged that their detour through Canyon City took riders away from the hot desert and blood-thirsty red man.

In reality, the detour and one-night stay in Canyon City was a feeble attempt to bring new people to the area. Their scheme had yet to work on any one person. Every now and then a child might beg his or her parents to stay, but that never flew.

There were no homes in Canyon City. Where they worked, they lived. The Barber and his family lived in the barbershop, the Preacher in the church with his family and so on. Even the James Saloon was home to the James family and they worked there; every blessed one of them. Their two teenage daughters entertained; Michael, who was six, gladly washed dishes and their mother cooked meals. Jonathon James, the father and husband of this establishment, was the bartender and bouncer (when the occasion arose; it seldom did).

The Preacher and most of the towns folk disagreed with the way Jonathon James ran his saloon, especially during the daytime and on Sundays. But, when night rolled in where else were you gonna get a hot meal and put down some whiskey? Definitely not at the church.

If you want to continue to exist in a town that no one will move to, then you gotta look close to home when you go looking for a bride. This was the sad state of affairs for many of the young lads in Canyon City. The Preacher encouraged young men to take trips to neighboring cities (which were anywhere from 50 to 100 miles away) to meet and court women. Unfortunately, that takes money and courage to wander that far from home; most of the young men did not go far as the Preacher desired they would. He gave sermons on it every other week; that is, unless a young boy had recently made that transition to young man status, in which case he spoke on it every Sunday.

This led to some interesting looking folks in Canyon City. Even Jonathon and Wilma James were brother and sister; joke had it that their boy Michael was gonna grow up and marry both of his sisters, Mary and McGayle. Though, if it were to come to pass the joke would be on little Michael; for Mary and McGayle were a product of their design. It wasn't so much that they weren't beautiful or that they were ugly, it wasn't that simple. They were just... different looking. No one could really put their finger on it and no one ever had the guts or foolishness to put their finger on it, either. But, when you've had enough whiskey, they look just as fine as the next girl. Travellers' opinions were that Canyon City had closed itself off from others for so long, they had forgotten what beauty was.



Copyright 2008 Nathan Weaver
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Comments (2)
Posted by kaorujin
2008-09-15 19:21:44
okay..

its interesting, nice hook and lead in.

i absolutely love a great hook. but you kinda gave a much too long description.

who is the protagonist?

usually you put in the chunky stuff in the second chapter, when you actually get their interest
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Posted by DarcKnyt
2008-10-10 10:41:33
Nicely Written

Your prose is good in this; I sort of agree with the other commentor that the hook is good, but the history is a bit of an information dump on the reader right out of the gate.

On the other hand, the backstory's important here and you didn't lose any interest along the way.

The town itself can be considered the central character here, and you transition nicely to the James family at the end. That's a nice piece of seque, and frankly, I'm looking forward to more despite the early slam with info.
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