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Stolen Innocence, Childhood LostThis story may contain adult content. |
| Written by Stacey Apostle | |
| Monday, 25 August 2008 | |
 I could see fire dancing in his eyes as he looked me up and down when I stepped out of the bathroom door. Goosebumps covered me from head to toe, yet I was acutely aware of the heat emanating from my cheeks and other places in my body. This was my first time.
"Don't be shy," he whispered. Not once did his eyes leave me as he walked across the room to where I stood. "You have nothing to be shy about." He looked up and stared me right in the eye, but I broke away; the intensity with which he appraised me frightened me. I stared at the floor in an attempt to calm myself. All the while, I could feel him drawing closer to me. I felt the weight of his stare boring through every pore, drinking me in. I looked up to find his face inches from mine. I could smell his hot breath as it tickled my nostrils; it smelled of cheap rum and coke. He started to lean into me, eyes closed, lips puckered; I knew what was coming next and I knew what I was supposed to do, but for some reason, this time felt different than the others. Instead of meeting him halfway, I took a step backwards, resulting in my bare bottom hitting the cold cement wall. He opened his eyes and blinked back his surprise. "What's wrong honey?" He asked me in what seemed like a concerned manner, but his voice carried a hint of annoyance. "I...I don't think...I mean...I'm not sure if...I don't...this doesn't feel right." I stammered. I stared back down, afraid of what I'd see if I looked up. His wiry fingers reached out to me. He tilted my chin so I could face him. "Don't worry about it. This is what adults do. You want to be an adult, don't you? Remember when I showed you those videos? Everybody does this. It's normal." He smiled - an attempt to reassure me, but it only served to make me more uncomfortable. He reminded me of a wolf, licking his chops before sinking into his kill. "Now why don't you kiss me like we practiced?" He took a step forward, and assumed the position once more. He waited for about five seconds. Then he opened his eyes, only to see me with my face buried in my hands. "Aubrey, what's the matter?" He asked. "I thought you said you loved me." I could tell by his voice that his patience was running out. He reached out and grabbed my hand away from my face. "Do you want me to leave? Is that it? Do you want me to go away and never come back? Do you want to be alone every night with no one to talk to, no one to play games with, no one to tell you that you're beautiful?" His voice was controlled, but I knew he was getting very angry. His grip tightened on my arm, so much so that I couldn't take it anymore; I cried out in pain. "Oh Aubrey! Now look what you made me do! I didn't mean that, you know I didn't honey." His tone softened. He dragged me all the way to the couch where he sat me down, crouched in front me, and held my face so that I couldn't help but look him straight in the eye. "Do you want me to leave Aubrey? Do you want me to go away?" He asked me. "...No." I uttered, "I don't want to be alone." My voice quivered and my body started to shake "Oh my little Aubrey," he sighed. I could tell he was amused. "You know I love you and if you love me, you have to show me okay? It's the only way I'll know." He leaned in once more. I flinched, thinking he was going for my lips, but he surprised me and kissed me on the forehead. "I need to know that you love me so I can stay with you." He sounded so sincere, but I couldn't ignore the feeling that there was something wrong. Every part of me wanted to bolt, but where could I go? He was in my house. I let him in. This was all my fault. I searched my mind for an excuse - anything to hold him off. "Wait - what if my mom comes home? Maybe she might decide to come home early tonight." I was fully aware that he knew what time my mom came home, but I hoped this would suffice. "Now you know she doesn't come home 'till later." He bared his teeth and sat next to me on the couch. He pulled me closer to him so that our bodies touched. His skin, cold as ice, numbed me from within. "I love you Aubrey," he whispered. "I love you too." "Kiss me." It was more of a command than a request. I closed my eyes and assumed the position, just as we practiced. I could feel his hands all over me. I knew it was futile to resist. "Don't worry honey. This will all be over soon."
I was 13 years old. He was 25. Copyright 2008 Stacey Apostle |
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| Last Updated ( Tuesday, 26 August 2008 ) |
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