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Growing Up? |
| Written by Lisa | |
| Monday, 25 August 2008 | |
Let me go back a few years. I wasn't a particularly easy child, being reasonably smart, but also having a terrible temper, which took me until I was about 14 to learn to control. Therefore I had trouble with people at school. Looking back, I am amazed at what my parents put up with, and am very grateful to them for always being there and not giving up in despair. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a juvenile delinquent or anything, but nor was I a calming influence in the house. As with most children and teenagers, I could never see why things had to be done right there and then. Surely it could wait until later? Couldn't they see I was doing something important? I had to watch this TV programme now or my life would be ruined! I did usually do as I was asked, but it would have taken a request, then a reminder, a demand and finally an ultimatum from my parents to get me to do whatever it was I had not done yet.
Fast forward a few years. By this point I have been away to university and come back home (boyfriend in tow). I now work full time, but it still takes a couple of reminders from mum and dad to get me to tidy my room, do my ironing, wash the car etc etc etc. By this point I could see that the things needed doing, but it was still much more interesting to watch a programme on TV, surf the internet or read a book..
Fast forward again to this last week or two. I have finally realised (after many years of mum telling me so) that it is much better to get chores (such as tidying, dusting, ironing) done during the week and to have the weekend absolutely clear to enjoy as I please. It's a rather strange feeling to sit down in front of the TV with my stitching and know that mum has nothing to rebuke me for not doing. If something comes up and mum asks me to do it there is no problem with me saying "yes, but can you hang on just a mo while I finish this bit?". We seem to have gotten so much done. It's amazing. But my question remains - am I finally growing up? Or, is there another explanation?
When I was 16, and about to leave secondary school my mum shocked me. I had always seen mum as being quite proper, and would never have told her a dirty joke or anything. Anyway, I had bought a little book to take in to school for everyone to sign and put things like poems or memories in, as had the rest of my year group. Mum got the first page and wrote "Never make love by the garden gate. Love may be blind but the neighbours ain't". I was shocked. This was like seeing mother Teresa going skinny dipping with the Chippendales. My world was turned upside down, and my relationship with mum changed. For the better let me add.
Anyway, ever since then it seems that mum has been getting younger. She is a very sensible lady, and jokes that she was born age 35. However, since she turned 40 she seems to have been working her way backwards! (Dad has never acted his age, and the family consensus is that he decided to stop somewhere between 18 and 25). My brother got a shock a few years later when mum found out she really likes his music. This is a terrible thing to do to a teenager and I really felt for him for a while. But then his friends decided it was cool that his mum liked Green Day, the Verve and the Kaiser Chiefs, so he seems resigned to it now.
In the last year or so mum and I have started to worry dad too. Sometimes we will say the same thing at the same time. We may look at one another and just dissolve into giggles, much to the bemusement of anyone else in the room. It probably doesn't help that mum and I are looking more and more alike every year (I wasn't impressed when this was first pointed out by work colleagues, but at least now I know what I'll look like in a few years - and mum can't complain being told she looks like a 25 year old!).
So - to return to the question, am I growing up? Yes. I think I am.
I seem to have the next few years roughly mapped out in my head (marriage, house, children), and seem to be more sensible about household chores.
BUT I will say that although I may be growing up, I think my parents are growing down too. I wonder when we'll meet in the middle.
And now I wonder if this is a natural process for parents? Are they meant to grow down so that when their children produce grandchildren for them they can relate to them? Will I see my parents lying on the floor with my children pushing toys on wheels about? Yes. I imagine I will, especially knowing my parents. Still - there will be trouble if mum and dad don't let the baby in the playpen! Copyright 2008 Lisa |
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