She had fooled them all again;
Hoodwinked them into thinking
She'd be safe outside the locked

Ward; and taking Bronston's cut
Throat razor (he thought he hid
It well) she slit her wrists till

Fountains poured red across her
Clothes and all around; and there
Was that buzzing sound; that voice

Screaming loud inside her head:
I'm free again, free from pain,
Echoing through her freaked out

Brain, slithering along her
Jagged veins, her eyes gazing
At the coming storm of white

And blues; the nurses cursing;
The docs crestfallen over
Their soiled angel, splattering

The room with her crimson rush,
Without care or word or God
Damned curse or a shameful blush.

Keyword: SHE FOOLED THEM.

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Comments (8)

Posted by Eternal_Bliss440 2008-08-23 13:08:59 .... wow that sounds like sometihng I would write. The poem really flowed well and the picture really fit the poem. I'm looking forward to read more of your work + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-08-23 16:43:37 .... this was very good and i enjoyed it lots. it was a strong bloody picture you painted but it was well conveyed like always...and the remark soiled angel really stuck in my mind....very good. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-08-24 12:31:18 SHE FOOLED THEM. Whoa, this was a good change of pace in the Poetry that's been coming on this site. This was bloody intense, mate! I read this like five times in a row, I don't think I've ever read this much suspense in a Poem. Great job, Terry. Cheers! + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-08-24 14:17:29 FOOLED Good grief Terry, you frightened me half to death with this one. The lass really meant it, and you got right inside her head. And those clipped and staggered sentences. What a medium for this sort of subject. Outstanding! Kind regards Harmattan + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-08-24 14:18:09 sorry score! + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-08-25 20:22:05 .... Man, that had a truly haunting feel to it, the structure of having the first word of each stanza be the last line of a sentence or coma point was eery when I read this aloud. That picture was pretty cool, you must be a huge manga fan I'm guessing (seen ninja scroll?) I aplaud this poem, kudos + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-08-29 22:03:21 .... Very taught and grabbing. I really loved the last line. Shameful blush, that's just too good! + Report this comment
Posted by indianaman130 2008-10-04 21:16:49 .... I'm starting to understand your method. you purposely try and break traditonality(new word, should fit) You seem to dare people to read what you write by how you wrote it. + Report this comment

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