Posted by antheerr
2008-08-22 11:39:24
Awwwwwwwwww!
This is really sweet. I love how you put across the fear that she'll be hurt again, mixed with the need to love and be loved. You can hear her voice and see her standing with her arms wrapped protectively around her as she says this - half stepping forward then withdrawing.
This is really really good.
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-08-22 11:43:50
....
Now do you remember?
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Posted by alfred
2008-08-22 11:47:42
....
Now we have two for the price of one. Would anyone out there be interested and joining me for a comment? Im usually very sweet and would like if you would help me find even sweeter words to use. ok, Ill give this a passing grade.
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-22 11:55:36
Schlurrp
Loved the schmaltz, I'm a sucker for it and this was beautifully done.
Absolute pearler!
Phil (mopping up the tears from my dinner plate)
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-22 13:10:23
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This was wonderful! This one is going in my favorites. I think you accurately described love here.
Dammit, bring me the box of kleenex. I'm gonna leak lemon juice out of my tear ducts now. =]
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-22 13:15:13
my present
you did a great job with this one. beginning to end it had a very nice flow - and there were no wasted words.
hard to place a value on oneself.
write on!
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-22 16:02:30
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Hmm. Thoughtful. This is a charming piece of writing that I have read in recent times. One must always strive to strike a chord in a reader’s heart. You have achieved it in great measure. Good job. Keep it up. ;-)
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-22 17:22:30
Your gift.
I have just come from A and a poem called "Road Home". With nods to nobody I am going to say virtually the same thing again.
A simple love poem is the hardest work.
Bit twee here and there, but a damn good stab at it.
Well done.
Kind regards
Harmattan
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Posted by Eternal_Bliss440
2008-08-22 19:07:34
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This is so sweet. I absolutly love it. It flowed really well and it is so romantic. THis is gonig to be in my favorites now. I really don't know what else to say.
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Posted by JonStalk
2008-08-22 21:26:13
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As a horror fan I tend to lean toward darker stuff, but it's nice to read something like this every so often...like a breath of fresh air or a ray of sun...nicely done
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Posted by garyowen
2008-08-23 02:28:37
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A bit predictable for my taste but its definitly comercial enought to sell a few million cards. The point is thats its well written.
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Posted by nick711
2008-08-23 10:01:30
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Very sweet.
The last stanza in a poem will generally characterize the entire poem as a whole. To me the last line made it seem like a 20th Anniversary Hallmark card.
Other than that little bit, it was terrific.
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Posted by darrinbouley
2008-08-23 21:33:46
Taken to heart...
Michelle,
Nice poem. You and Potter really captured the essence of the greatest gift to be given. Keep up the impressive prose!
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-08-24 20:13:06
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This is very nice. This shows vulnerability as well as trust, which is what relationships are all about
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-26 04:07:21
Sarky Bugger
There's always one isn't there?
Just couldn't resist could you Russ?
What's this poor defenceless woman done to upset YOU?
Any more of this and I will have to take up arms against a sea of troubles (hang on, haven't I read that somplace before?).
Dear lady fear not. Your honour is safe with me (yeah, right!)
Phil
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