He swoops, he scores

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Written by Lisa

Thursday, 21 August 2008

This is just something I made up on the spot.

I was just thinking, about nothing in particular, and an image popped into my head, and this followed it.

Soaring high above he seeks out his target.

He circles and wheels, scanning the ground below.

A movement catches his eye.

He dives towards the ground.

At the last second he pulls up and skims the ground.

Target acquired.

Sensors locked.

He homes in on his prey.

A wail of anguish splits the air as the gull soars away with the child's sandwich.

Keyword: He swoops he scores

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Comments (10)

Posted by lemon 2008-08-21 16:43:08 .... haha! that was funny. here I was thinking it was going to be about an eagle going for fish or something, but it was about a gull swiping a kids lunch. Those things are real bastards. when at sea world beware of them when your 3 year old has fish to feed the dolphins. :S + Report this comment
Posted by Behind_the_Mask 2008-08-21 17:02:48 ... That was great I remember a bird tried to take my lunch before. So I had to bust out the ninja star and attack it, but I missed and hit some kid in the eye, I blamed it on the clown. Moral of the story don’t be a clown. Hilarious little poem / story. + Report this comment
Posted by ams 2008-08-21 18:30:58 .... i really liked this. i liked the imagery and i also loved how it ended up being that it was a seagull stealing a child's sandwich. like lemon said, i was expecting it and i liked the twist. welcome to storiesville. + Report this comment
Posted by topsyturvywords 2008-08-21 18:35:11 .... very short yet very descriptive. I like the way you write the whole thing...i was thinking about basketball at first because of the title but in the later part I realized I was wrong. Great quite humurous for me though.LOL :) + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-08-22 01:59:50 Oh Go On Then Couldn't resist in the end. It's your own fault for telling me about the posting this morning. Very good poem dear, didn't know you could write like this. maybe you COULD give up your daytime job. Dad + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-08-22 04:02:39 He swoops, he scores ha! It painted a clear picture in my head which made it all the more humorous. Gotta admit I thought it was like about a superhero or like Lemon said, an Eagle, but you sure surprised me. Pretty funny verse. Cheers, Max + Report this comment
Posted by villanova21 2008-08-22 22:33:57 LOL I just thought I would say also that your piece was a very enjoyable read! Keep it up, I think you are good! + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-08-24 13:19:36 and the crowd goes wild,,,wrong story wheres a BB gun when you need it(j/k)..By the title I would have quessed a basketball story. Takes me back to a child when I would love to throw a piece of bread in the air and watch a Gull swoop it up when on a boat.(heck, probally still do) nice lil dity. + Report this comment
Posted by Andy6 2008-08-25 08:30:08 Wicked last line Nice lead up to the finale which was wicked, well quirky. You've obviously got a head like mine, things just popping into it from nowhere. Long may it last, good poetic style and a sense of humour. + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-08-28 14:22:19 .... I've done that before. Not take a child's sandwich but actually fly. Don't like to brag about it but yeah I can. Thanks for giving me a nifty idea to try out though. ;) This was a fun piece. Great wording. + Report this comment

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Last Updated ( Saturday, 23 August 2008 )

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