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The Grey Dawn


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Written by Alex Hodson   
Thursday, 21 August 2008
The night is ending,
And still the shells fall,
Upon the earth,
Creating the footsteps of
Boom, Boom, Boom,
The sounds of death or the
Drumbeats of Hell
Crumble their minds and
Rattle their hearts,
Some may cry,
Some may wail,
Others stay silent
Or turn a
Ghostly pale
Until an emotionless voice
Cries out:
‘Over the top!’
And they scream,
And they climb
And they choke on their fear.

The bullets are sounding,
The men are falling,
The blood is spilling,
But there’s no one to mourn
The rise of the smoke
That covers the Sun
And creates the
Grey Dawn.


Copyright 2008 Alex Hodson
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Comments (9)
Posted by David Relic
2008-08-21 10:46:24
....

I liked it a lot. very well written and the structure was cool. Read it multiple times and liked it better every time.

Soldiers never had it easy, did they?
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Posted by Eternal_Bliss440
2008-08-21 10:48:09
....

I liek this. It plainly describes (if this is correct) what happesn in war. The poem flwoed really well and I am interested in what your other works are.
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-21 12:59:33
....

Good poem. This had the feeling of hopelessness and sorrow. Very well conveyed.

of course i noticed the spelling error of 'wale'. it should be wail =]
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Posted by hey_hey_paula
2008-08-21 13:13:35
comment*

I liked it because it was very visual. I could see it all in my mind and I read it once over and it still had the same effect. Well written.
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Posted by topsyturvywords
2008-08-21 19:15:35
powerful

your words are very powerful...the imagery makes the poem more picturesque...very deep and i love it...i'll put this on my favorites...nice one buddy..keep posting :)
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-22 02:58:13
Bullet

Good - impressive poem and written in the shape of a bullet (or is it just my eyesight?)

Phil
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-22 23:07:34
grey dawn

reminds me of the pink floyd lyrics, "forward! he cried from the rear and the front line died.."

i drew a picture of the trench battles of the first big war.

well done, liked the format.

write on!
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-08-26 14:32:41
....

Phil is always seeing strange images in poetry.

I thought you had a good command of the words in this. Nice structure as well. I liked it. If I had a hat I'd tip it.
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Posted by Ashutosh
2008-08-29 06:56:51
....

A+ Good Poetry. I remember readin your ticking man and that I also I like dpretty much. Your poetry is clean, simple and direct without being too wordy.

Good job!
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Last Updated ( Friday, 29 August 2008 )
 
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