My Inspiration: Chapter One.

I pulled the sheet from the typewriter. The feeling of the pulpy sheet felt good against my palm; like an old friend making a short but memorable appearance. Keep writing, I heard a voice say. But I don't know what to write I shot back.

                It will come, the voice said, just keep writing.

                What's gonna happen, I wondered. "What should I write about?" Is the voice a friend or an enemy I wondered.     I laughed aloud, uncontrollably. I always figured if I heard a voice I'd be freaked out and want to know what it wants.

                "How can I begin to focus on writing when I have to consider why you're here!"I implored.

                The voice failed to respond. I wondered if it was a coward.

                I decided to start writing again, leaving the voice as a memory. I set my fingers in the home keys, stretched my neck, and begin typing a few lines:

She was beautiful, but at the same time here features seemed all wrong, like one of Picasso's paintings...

                "What's the matter you don't like Picasso?" The voice asked, mocking me..

                "I just meant to say she was beautiful, but all mixed up, you know like Picasso's paintings, that's all."

                "I don't need an art lesson. What's all mixed up and wrong right now is your little story."

                "Well you told to me write, I wrote. What gives?"  I chewed on the end of a straw, angrily. O.K, give it another try.

                She was ugly, but at the same time I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Something about her horrid features pulled together beautifully, like a Jackson Pollock.

                The voice laughed hysterically.

                "You liked this one, didn't you?"

                "I laughed because you heard not a word I said! I said no art lessons, and no bad analogies."

                Now what, I wondered.

                "You'll never amount to anything, ever. You should right about what a horrible person you are."

               
                "I won't be guilted by a voice."

                "Write it! Tell the world how pathetic you are. A rotten peach core I always said."

                She was beautiful, but at the same time all wrong, so I rearranged her features like a Picasso painting, making the features I made ugly beautiful once again

                "Go on."

                "I scrambled her up, and plastered her back together..."

                "Go on."

                "And now she's beautiful."

                "Continue."

                I pulled the piece of paper from the typewriter, feeling it cut through the palm of my hands.

                "I'll get this right eventually!" I vowed. "Like I got her right. If it takes me forever."

                The voice would hibernate until then, haunting me again until the next time I clicked the key of my typewriter.  

     I wrote this story for my Dark Interpretations English classes. It's supposed to be about an instance when we've felt possessed. My teacher said she wants atleast five comments from others, so here it is. I appreciate the help guys/

Keyword: My Inspiration: Chapter One.

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Comments (9)

Posted by FleetHepburn 2008-08-20 20:56:12 I'm confused I honestly don't understand what you were trying to do with this story. Was it a satire, or was it supposed to be scary? I felt like I wanted to understand it, but couldn't. + Report this comment
Posted by chaabuk 2008-08-20 22:28:54 .... Good. Very good. This is a charming piece of writing that I have read in recent times. One must always strive to strike a chord in a reader’s heart. You have achieved it in great measure. Good job. Keep it up. ;-) + Report this comment
Posted by gtmike 2008-08-20 23:28:59 I liked it. Hey Chabuk, you left the exact same message, word for word on my last story. Quit cherry picking the new stories. I actually read this and liked it. I had an image of someone bloody in a box, whose features were actually being rearanged by someone with a knife. "But maybe thats just me. GTMike + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-21 03:03:51 ay ay not bad... i mainly liked this because i can relate... not cause i killed someone.. but cause i once saw this girl who was like really... i dont know.. like yea really beautiful but..all wrong... no.. She was ugly, but at the same time I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Something about her horrid features pulled together beautifully.. thats exactly how i felt! do you know her too! she was pretty pale and almost looked like a fuckin zombie.. and then i got high and i almost freaked out cause i thought she WAS a zombie.. really, but i couldnt stop staring at her... i wondered if she noticed? but then other then that... i liked the line or concept of rearranging her features cause it was all wrong.. but then you went on and got it all tangled with.. nonsense i guess... but i guess thats the problem in the story right! but then so i guess i didnt like that part.. you should of got it right... and the paper and friend simile didnt really go well together.. and some other stuff + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-21 03:10:22 ps The voice would hibernate until then, haunting me again until the next time I clicked the key of my typewriter. this doesnt make sense to me... the voice would hibernate until then.. until when? until this point where it just awoke.. like of what i just read? i think you should delete then... or do you mean it like... well i hope to see you again, unTIll THen, goodbye everybody!...? is it? i dont know the then just doesnt make sense! + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-21 03:25:16 pss more confusion.. you write the actually writing from the character in regular font... like theres no quotes to "quote" your writing, cause you are quoting what you wrote right? but if you qoute it, it would be like the dialogue right?! so italisize it baby! cause like when it said, the voice laughed hysterically, and then the next line down, it said, you liked this one, didnt you?... so know whos speaking here? you were just talking about the voice laughing, so now i would think the voice was speaking, since the guy didnt laugh, the voice did, so now youre saying what the voice said after it laughed or while it laughed... it said you liked this one, didnt you... i was a little confused at what it ment.. ohh so the voice is saying the man liked that women he killed cause its like shes coming through his subconsious through his writing... but then the rest of the lines didnt make sense.. so then i finally figured out that.. you just started a new line when you shouldnt have. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-21 03:36:13 cuase you see what i mean? you have no dialogue tags... the voice laughed hysterically... you liked this one, didnt you, i asked it.. or something like that... and you should change this one, cause its like youre talking about what youre writing about.. cause it sounds like its referring to the girl... this one.. so change it to that one,, cause you know when you crack a joke and they laugh you say, you liked that, or, that one, didnt you?... am i right or am i right? and now that i think abou tit.. whats the point of the voice? it says no more painting analogies but then he makes another one and he doesnt care... and so like.. everything hes writing.. hes already done.. so its like its nothing new to the guy.. the voice isnt giving any new information you know...like the voice keeps telling him to go on and and go on even though the guy already knows what to go on about.. cause hes already done it. so like why does the voice need to yell at him when he knows whats already happening. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-21 03:48:47 hey and then see at the end you start using quotes, between the go ons.. so like is he saying that or writing it?...and some of the sentence structure and wording could be looked at closely... unless you are meaning to tell us this guy speaks like that... or he writes with bad grammar.. you know + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-08-25 08:59:08 .... This reminded me a lot of myself. I have voices. But they're my friends they don't bully me. Well except for that one......but he'll be dealt with in time.... Some of your sentences need restructured to fit right in the piece but other than that I can totally get where your coming from. Keep it up dude. P.S. Don't mind Xena. She's completely insane. And in love with a panda. + Report this comment

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