*okay I've never written poetry really before, so here it goes

Here I am standing here

Tears rushing down my face

You told me you didn't want me anymore

That we just weren't ment to be

I disagreed

I loved you more than I could imiagine

I begged for you to stay

But you just turned and walked away, without another glance

I cried and I cried

How could this be?

I gave him my heart,

And thought all was okay

Never I thought,

That you would take advantage of me

And throw what I thought we had

Into the depths of time

My friends had told me

That he wasn't good enough for me

But I hadn't listened

I had been in love!

Now here I sit

With my heart broken

Thinking whats going to happen next

I feel as life had just ended

How come he could do this to me

To love me, and just let me go

My friends say its his loss

I'm not sure though

I had loved him with all of my heart

He had treated me like dirt

But yet sill I loved him

With all of my cursed heart

Now that I am all alone,

Maybe I could have done better

I want a guy to love me for who I am

And not for what he wants me to be

I will move on

Keyword: love sad alone

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Comments (13)

Posted by Behind_the_Mask 2008-08-20 17:23:10 .. I like how it went from depressing to the shred of hope and future confidence. It got its point across and to me it was well written. I say for a first try at poetry it was great. Keep up the good work. Good luck. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-08-20 17:25:39 .... I think this actually read more like a short-short story in poetry format. When I read it, I didn't really settle into one rhythm. Try reading it out loud to see if you get what I mean there. It was a good try though, I liked the content. I felt bad for her. =] + Report this comment
Posted by villanova21 2008-08-20 18:04:33 poetry Thats what poetry is all about your feelings! Don't let anyone discourage what may be a great calling. Good Work + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-08-20 19:37:29 .... i also think this was very good for your first poem! i thought it told a story well and there was a small bit of rhythm throughout the piece. but this seems like it's coming strait from experience, which obviously makes the peace a whole lot more meaningful and i'm happy to see you take your thoughts to poetry. it's a good thing to be able to do. + Report this comment
Posted by nick711 2008-08-20 21:17:50 .... Alot of characteristics of writing potential emanate from this poem. I especially liked the turn in the mood, later in the story when she gets new hope, and hopefully she can learn something, maybe learn to guard her heart a little better. A little bit of spelling errors distracted me, but no biggie. Very good for a first poem. :] + Report this comment
Posted by chaabuk 2008-08-20 22:32:20 .... Lovely. This is a charming piece of writing that I have read in recent times. One must always strive to strike a chord in a reader’s heart. You have achieved it in great measure. Good job. Keep it up. ;-) + Report this comment
Posted by chaabuk 2008-08-20 22:41:58 .... Absolutely delightful. This is a charming piece of writing that I have read in recent times. One must always strive to strike a chord in a reader’s heart. You have achieved it in great measure. Good job. Keep it up. ;-) + Report this comment
Posted by Hodders 2008-08-21 10:16:30 .... I liked it but there are a lot of other poems on here about similar topics. For it didn't seem unique enough to stand out. However, for a first try its very good! You show a lot of potential keep writing! + Report this comment
Posted by Terry Collett 2008-08-21 11:04:34 .... Always encourage a first poem or early poems, I say. Well this is a good first attempt. It has a lot of feeling in it, far share of personal touches, hurst , pains. Good. Enjoyed. + Report this comment
Posted by Tarhead Mugwump 2008-08-22 23:11:55 want to wait its just a mean thing that one loving another is no guarantee that the reverse is true. there ought be a law against that. you did a good job, write on! + Report this comment
Posted by screamfordonkeys 2008-08-23 10:53:42 .... Great first poem! ...I was wondering though, if this was from personal experiece...or if you were just trying to get into the mind of someone else. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-08-23 11:38:53 I want to wait for you, but should I Lately all the Poems I've been reading on this site have almost been about the same exact thing. Now, I'm not saying your verse isn't good (it's actually quite good to be honest) I'd just like to see some fresh material from people. Anyways ... great Poem! Especially for your first shot at it. The only thing is that it doesn't have too good a rhythm I noticed, and you misspelled imagine. Cheers, Max + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-09-13 20:41:04 .... It's good you didn't stay with the depressing, I am in a hopeless circumstance attitude. I will move on is the greatest part of the poem. Keep it coming. + Report this comment

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