"Movie Theater Blues" by Paula

       My family always made a big deal out of getting married. Marriage and a daughters go hand in hand as soon as the girl is born. Ever since I turned 16 family reunions always consisted of lavish dinners and interrogations that consisted of a prime victim: me.

       "Do you have a boyfriend?" aunt Nettie would ask me. "Is no one courting you?" aunt Edna would cut in. All the females in my family would flock around me and ask me how my love life was going. I'd reply in the most polite way and try to edge towards the door, carefully planning an escape. I would usually fail.

       Thirty years later the questions would die down and somehow I felt quite offended. Why have they ceased asking me? What are they trying to say. Just because I'm forty-six it doesn't mean...

       Oh god! I'm old! I'm childless and alone and I share a house with my equally single (though older) sister! I suddenly had the horrifying picture of me as a wrinkly old hag with a scarf wrapped over my thinning white hair and assisting my sister into her wheelchair.

       Something had to be done.

       I signed up for ballroom classes, French classes, cooking, art, book club, and golf. I had a class for each day of the week except for Sundays. That was the day I would go for a massage to soothe my arthritis.

        The classes didn't turn out to bad. I dated my dance instructor for a couple of months, but had to break it off because I felt we couldn't get along. And after we broke it off he started following me to work. So I had to file the restraining order. And so I had to quit the dancing school all together.

        I met people, and dated a few, but I realized righton the first date why they were single (to my utter despair).Anyway in the ballroom dancing class most of the people there were couples trying to get ready for their weddings. I befriended a really adorable couple named Therese and Henry.

       "So are you guys here just to have some fun?" I asked them. At the time I wasn't really aware of hte fact that everyone in the class were probably engaged or married.

         "Actually, we're getting married in a week." Therese replied. My heart sank. I just couldn't help it. I saw the young couple barely even in their thirties and they were getting married. I felt happy for them and I wished they would be happy, but somewhere deep inside of me I felt hot envy for them and their happiness. I wished it all for myself and I knew, somehow, that I had lost hope. Who could actually blame me?

         I went to the movie theater that night, and I stood in front of the ticket booth. This is what I'm afraid of. my mind whispered to me. I looked up to see what they were showing that night. It was Born Yesterday with Judy Holliday and William Holden. It was my favorite film and I was going to watch it. Alone. In a movie theater.

          I bought a ticket and took a deep breath. I found a seat and I prayed to God that I wouldn't start crying the way I thought I would if I saw all the couples in the theater. I prayed that I wouldn't feel even lonelier than I already was, sitting next to Casper. I bit my bottom lip as the lights dimmed down. I watched Billie Dawn and Paul Verral. Then I was watching them drive away.

          The lights turned on again.

           Oh my god! I survived it! I smiled and started walking out. Smiling at a young couple that I noticed sat in front of me. Suddenly I realized that there was no loneliness anymore. I survived through my greatest fear: going through anything alone. I realized that all this time I went through everything all by my self and that I could handle it, enjoy it even. Suddenly I wasn't so afraid anymore.

           I drove home and smiled all the way. My sister asked me where I had been and I told her where and she just stared at me until I closed the door to my room.

Keyword: single fear survival

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Comments (7)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-08-20 19:30:39 .... it was a decent story. at first i figured it was going to be sad all the way through as it started....but in the end she conquered her fear. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-20 22:15:30 humlamalamalmula this is a sad story. but you made it not so sad... even when you shouldnt of.. does that make sense? like the grammar and stuff made it unbelievable.. that is i didnt believe a thirty something once lonely women actually wrote this... you know? cause you know like the grammar.. besides all of the obvious hts and such.. which could of been handeled by a simple spell check but was not.. for some reason which i think is a defense system. but i wont argue... but beside that... Marriage and a daughters go hand in hand as soon as the girl is born. should delete the a.. but its still confusing... and does it really go hand in hand when theyre born? what third world country does this take place lol no jk... anyway you go onto use consisted in the same sentence... change one of them to something else... that goes for alot of the other repetition... oh and i didnt realize she was 46.. and still living with her sister... thats kinda out there... but anyway.. oh and ballroom dancing lessons is + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-08-20 22:32:05 probly not the best place to meet someone single.. common sense.. which she does learn... and then going to the movie theatre and seeing her one favorite movie playing... coincedence? or unrealistic plot device? hmmm?... anyway another part where i stumbled was.. everyone in the class were probably engaged or married... change that to was.. and dont give me oh its plural so its were was is singlular... but hey shut up cause its was... everyone.. noun. single. i think. anywho... its kinda odd only now has she had this crisis... so i dont know what you were trying to do here.. at parts it was a bit humorous... like intentionally... but its like... should it be? i guess but i dont know.. you know? i guess it just didnt hold its weight... and probably would of been better in the third person... + Report this comment
Posted by chaabuk 2008-08-20 22:33:55 .... A beauty this one. This is a charming piece of writing that I have read in recent times. One must always strive to strike a chord in a reader’s heart. You have achieved it in great measure. Good job. Keep it up. ;-) + Report this comment
Posted by tchocky 2008-08-21 20:58:36 .... Personally I loved it pretty much all the way through, it's my dark shame of having enjoyed Bridget Jone's Diary 2 (she just wants to find love...) but the ending I didn't really get. All the way I felt like I was being brought along with her through her life but the ending felt like I got bumped off along the journey. I understood she'd done everything in life alone so why should she be scared now, just didn't feel that realisation would leave me smiling. + Report this comment
Posted by hey_hey_paula 2008-08-22 13:55:54 I Don't Know What To Make of It Either The thought of my aunt very much like the character of the story (though of course the character was modified) bubbled into my mind and it just spilled over. Actually, I'm Filipino and it is true in my family that marriage and courtship is a rather big deal. I just didn't want to identify the character in any way that's why I didn't describe her. I wanted the character to connect with any woman in her situation. + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-08-22 16:07:15 MTB I thoroughly enjoyed, with a tear in my eye. Some of your critics obviously did not sense the cultural chasm you tried to cross. I have staff in similar predicaments to your character. (If it was not actually you!) Born Yesterday was a nice touch. Never in any critics top ten but loved by everybody that has actually seen it (Split infinitive! Right!). Kind regards Harmattan + Report this comment

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