Him (Overview)

And let us not make another mistake like him

D-305, James, was a lucky boy. He was destined to travel space, he was among the first of his kind and he was extremely gifted. However, that luck was marred by the fact that he lacked freedom, would most likely die a horrific death and that he was not gifted.

I suppose his first trip through the flight simulator should have been the first sign that this child was different. He experienced a case of motion sickness so acute that all I could equate it to was that of a person recovering from stomach flu. However, we simply treated it as a case of ‘well he was possibly malnourished due to the prospect of the first trip in the flight simulator.' But of course we were wrong.

By his second and third negative reactions to the flight simulator we knew something was wrong. We scheduled physicals for him and tried all sorts of cures for him. Eventually extra practice was all he required.

That should have been the first clue that he was different. But how could that be? All the clones were exactly the same; it was unfathomable that any alteration could have occurred. This had scandal written all over it.

A scandal was simply something we could not afford. To start, the DEP (Deep space exploration program) was already highly controversial. After it just passed in the legislative branch and was only signed by the president on the grounds that it would ‘save lives' the public, a minute and vocal section anyways, began protesting vehemently. Any ammunition for this small group of radicals could result in catastrophic fallout.

So, I did my absolute best to guide him the through the 18 year DEP training schedule: I found extra help for him where necessary and less when he showed aptitude in the subject. However, this was in vain.

I almost wish I had put him down.

The course he seemed to excel the most in was mathematics. In fact when Heisenberg was given to him, it was required reading, he quickly found the same flaws that Einstein found in it. After much thought, I presume who really knows, he announced only minor flaws were present in its construction, it was simply a contradictory presentation.

That was the second sign of trouble...If only the third was treatable.

When he began to interact with I-330, Jim, my hand was forced. I immediately summoned them, each individually, to my office. Once inside they were sedated and treated...

However, James's...treatment...did not work. His first opportunity for revenge came when he stepped aboard the spacecraft, I'm sure you are aware that it is essentially a manned missile. We never imagined any of our trainees would use it as a missile though.

*This is a plot overview to an incomplete piece.

Keyword: Him

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Comments (7)

Posted by philneale1952 2008-08-20 09:23:15 Synopsis? If this is your preliminary overview, I would say go for it. The story is strong, and your initial writing will bear out what should prove to be a very good story. Throw in as many twists and turns as you can dream up, the logic thread will stand it as long as you remain in control of the character and plot. Go on.......what are you waiting for? Phil + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-08-20 12:00:47 .... This lacked the intense factor. Clones are a good subject for a story however, and your off to a good but slow start. Need to elaborate more with discribing the setting so the reader can relate better. Think your idea is a good one. Just for me however, when I read a story I need to be drawn into that world. Maybe the complete version will make this review seem pointless. + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-08-20 13:29:07 It I agree with Phil, go for it, stacked with good ideas. and Potter, needs rounding rather than padding. Intelligent idea. Will certainly come back for the finished article if you make it. If it is any consolation, I find Heisenberg to be contradictory too! Kind regards Harmattan + Report this comment
Posted by Behind_the_Mask 2008-08-20 14:29:37 ... I think this is a great start. But, you can add it later or earlier but in my opinion it needs to be added. A bit more information about the DEP it seems that it will be a big topic of the entire story and as the reader having such a large pivot point and not knowing anything about it really take away from the story. Some additional background information can be helpful but it may not be necessary this early on. This has the makings of a great Science Fiction Mystery. Perhaps you can make a tangential story from a different character if this one is going to take place from one point of view that way if we read the two we can get information that was left out of the first one. That way you can have a series going about this. Just thought I’d give some thoughts on the matter. + Report this comment
Posted by iRant 2008-08-20 16:36:39 .... it's going to take me some time to write this. + Report this comment
Posted by d.dasgupta 2008-08-21 01:16:04 Interesting potential Clearly it can turn into a good science fiction. It reminds me, perhaps for the wrong reasons, of Robin Williams' Bicentennial Man. The robot, or clone if you like, who was the exception to the rule. + Report this comment
Posted by DeltronZero 2008-09-06 13:21:30 Go for it The story was good, although I did sense some Campbell's Condensed Background Story coming on. I was really sucked into the story, and it was short without being abrupt. Keep writing! + Report this comment

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