Dominate the House

The birth of my nephew is what brought me back to...

Shattered Window

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downward spiral


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Written by b.k.   
Tuesday, 19 August 2008

The mask of stone

hid her being

kept others away,

smothered all feeling

numb to the touch, and numb of mind

as if in a cage, she was confined

abolutely no anger, happiness, or fear

not a fit of rage or a single tear

apathy consumed her soul

tore her down, and swollowed her whole,

a huge void that no one could fill,

sunk further into depression, the blade was her pill,

a final cut, and all was ceased

finally she'd found her peace



Copyright 2008 b.k.
Keyword: downward spiral
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Comments (11)
Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-20 03:13:40
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I think this is the best of the poems which I've sen on the site on the subject of depression and suicide.

It's more subtle than most and needed only one read through to get the message.

I'm not a big poetry fan, but this one I liked.

Phil
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Posted by Terry Collett
2008-08-20 03:29:58
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Good poem I'd say. sad subject but that does not take away any merit this poem rightly deserves.

Words are made to count here; made to pay their way. Touchingly written. good.
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-20 13:51:39
spiral or plummet?

Not my favourite genre as you may have already gathered, but a clever economy of words and choice of words, common instead of aesthetic, which gives it bite and an air of reality.

It suggests that you really do care.....

Kind regards

Harmattan
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-20 15:53:43
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This is good. I liked how you likened her depression and suicide to a downward spiral.. it is indeed.

You've adequately expressed every emotion involved. Good job =]
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-20 15:54:17
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very well done.....you accurately described some people i have met personally like this along the way. and it had a very nice flow to it....but the title kept reminding me of the album "The Downward Spiral" you know, NIN.

i'm curious....which was your favorite song off that album?
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Posted by b.k.
2008-08-20 18:06:39
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well my favorite tracks (since it's nearly impossible to pick just one) were "the becoming", "big man with a gun", and the original version of "hurt".....also, though i found it to be a bit overplayed, i liked "closer" as well....reznor is a fucking genius
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-20 19:14:52
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i know what you mean it is hard to pick just one....but "the becoming" i liked as well but the original version of hurt isn't as good as the version he played live last year on tour. i like it just with the piano rather than the original..i think it sounds more depressing that way. but my favorites would have to be "Closer" of course haha but "I do not want this" and "Reptile" were the other two i really enjoyed as well.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-20 19:14:56
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i know what you mean it is hard to pick just one....but "the becoming" i liked as well but the original version of hurt isn't as good as the version he played live last year on tour. i like it just with the piano rather than the original..i think it sounds more depressing that way. but my favorites would have to be "Closer" of course haha but "I do not want this" and "Reptile" were the other two i really enjoyed as well.
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Posted by b.k.
2008-08-20 19:54:08
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those are all good as well...though all of the songs are fantastic...i don't think i've heard that version of "hurt", but i'll have to check it out...i just said the "original" version because of the johnny cash cover
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-20 20:14:56
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oh yea most fans of NIN don't like the fact that Johnny Cash covered Hurt. but honestly, i think Cash took the song and made it his own. even though he was singing the same lyrics he took it and morphed it into his own personna. but of course, reznor's the original singer and no one can sing it better!
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Posted by b.k.
2008-08-20 20:22:38
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oh definitely...i like johnny cash, and had nothing but respect for him...but there won't ever be anything better than the original
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