Dominate the House

The birth of my nephew is what brought me back to...

Primal Need, Chapter 1

Primal Need - Chapter 1 Blood. The metallic...

Blind Faith, Chapter 1


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Written by Philip Neale   
Sunday, 17 August 2008
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The noise of the life support equipment was the only sound in the room. The steady ‘beep-bip, beep-bip' of the ECG monitor was the only assurance Brian Drake had that his wife Susie was hanging on in there, albeit kept alive by the myriad of tubes festooning her body. She lay in the Intensive Care Unit, where she had been for the past month or more, as still as death. There was nothing more that the medical staff could do, and it was only a question of time now before he would be faced with the emotionally catastrophic decision of when to turn off the machine. As he sat at Susie's side, where he had been continually for the entire period, he scanned her face for some small sign that she was coming back to him. The flicker of an eyelid, a twitch at the corner of her mouth, something, anything for Christ's sake....just something that would take away the responsibility for what he knew he was going to have to face.

 

The staff had been very good. He had a bed made up in the private room where she lay, and they'd looked in on the both of them at regular intervals. It seemed that he himself had become more of a focus of attention than Susie - they seemed to have given up on her. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten anything, and water was the only thing he felt able to keep down. His face had become quite haggard for a twenty-something young professional, and the growth of beard which had accumulated in the intervening time served only to accentuate the almost derelict appearance which his crumpled clothing leant itself to his form. It now seemed a lifetime ago that they were leaving the football match on that Tuesday night, both a little down after an F.A. Cup defeat to opposition from a division lower; his head dropped into his hands, and not for the first time sobs racked his body. Tears fell like rain on to the tiled floor as he fought to regain control of rapidly deteriorating senses.

 

                                             ******************************************


Yes, that Tuesday night was one which Brian would dearly have loved to live all over again. The roar of 28,000 voices as the winning goal went in at the Trent End of Nottingham's City Ground was only surpassed five minutes later as the referee signalled the end of the game. They had waited inside the ground with the rest of the visiting supporters as the bulk of the crowd made its way past the riverside bottleneck and over Trent Bridge - perhaps they should have braved the crush after all. Perhaps...............what? Perhaps they shouldn't have gone to the game at all. Maybe the meal at the Trent Bridge Inn was the mistake which delayed their return to the tram stop at the Phoenix Centre. Perhaps then they would not have witnessed the violent confrontation in the Meadows area of the city. Then there would have been no involvement with the police drug enforcement programme. Then Susie might still be laughing and smiling the way she used to. Too many variables, and much too late for all that now.

 

They had both been in witness protection after walking in on some kind of punishment killing in what had become the gun capital of Great Britain. Nottingham's Meadows and St Anne's areas were run by rival gangs constantly involved in turf wars. Narcotics had served only to increase the intensity of the conflicts as each sought to muscle the other out of the more profitable territories. Guns and knives were freely available to those wishing to use them, and the incident in question had been one of sickening brutality.

 

The old area of Arkwright Street had been demolished in the late 1960s and early 1970s to be replaced by a patchwork of maisonettes. Old slums had been replaced by modern ones littered with little back alleys and cul-de-sacs ideal for drug dealers to peddle their wares. It was within this maze that, as strangers to the city, they had become lost when noises around a corner stopped them in their tracks. The unmistakeable sound of a hard object meeting flesh, and the agonised cries of the recipient echoed around the immediate area, and curtains twitched as they were pulled tight shut by residents too scared to take a look outside.

 

Brian and Susie saw what was happening from the shadows cast by a low streetlight. Their dark clothing made them all but invisible, and with bated breath they awaited the end of the beating and the disappearance of its perpetrator. Then they would be able to move on once more, possibly pausing to summon the help of an emergency vehicle. What neither of them were prepared for was the stomach-churning finale to what had been a truly ferocious attack. The young man stood back from his now kneeling victim and removed the knuckle dusters from his hands.The sight of a battered face loomed out of the night, half lit by the very same street light which was acting as Brian and Susie's own protector. From deep within the folds of his coat, the assailant produced a hand gun, cocked the hammer and pointed it directly into the other's face. A laugh of demonic quality bounced around the neighbouring buildings as the kneeling figure held hands out in supplication, begging for his life. Brian had never heard gunfire before, and both he and Susie recoiled into a wall as a single bullet destroyed the face of the victim. There was blood and brain matter everywhere and as the gunman turned to leave, his features came out of the darkness in sharp relief - it was a face which neither of them would ever forget.

 

Frozen with fear and ears ringing with the gunfire, Brian and Susie cowered in the shadows which were their saviour on that night. Neither had the wish to investigate any further, assuming quite rightly that the victim was dead. After what seemed an age they made their way quickly and quietly through the maze of alleyways and on to the top of Crocus Street within clear sight of the city's Midland Station. Back in the relative safety of well-lit streets Brian made a brief ‘999' call from his mobile phone, giving details of the body's location before they boarded the last tram back to the Phoenix Centre and the escape route which their parked car would provide.

 

Until now, neither had spoken about the incident which they had witnessed, but locked in the metal cocoon which the BMW provided, Susie broke the silence.

 

"What now? I mean that man was murdered and we saw it happen. We have to do something."

 

"We did Suze. The police will be there now. It's up to them to sort it out. We don't know what was going on, and I don't fancy sticking my neck out."

 

"But that was, what.................? An execution Brian. We can't leave it at that. We witnessed an execution."

 

"Leave it love, please. You know what these places are like - it's on our local news at home regularly. These people don't take prisoners. We'll be in danger if anyone finds out what we saw tonight."

 

Susie saw the futility of arguing with him right now. He was scared; God she was scared. Back at home later that night, and with several whiskies inside him, Brian was even more determined not to become involved in what was clearly a gang-related shooting, and they locked up and went to bed. The next morning he had almost convinced himself that it had all been a horrific nightmare, when the BBC News 24 channel carried a report on the incident. What made him recoil in horror was the fact that information had been released relating to his call to the emergency services. The killers would now know that there had been at least one witness to the murder.......................



Copyright 2008 Philip Neale
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Comments (12)
Posted by gtmike
2008-08-17 17:29:09
Good start

Really good start Phil. The foreshadowing was good and you've already started to raise questions for the reader to figure out. I like the use of flashback. I want to read more.GTMike
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-17 18:57:45
fantastic

This story could be spread out to 30,000 words or more. There is a lot to be told here, who is the assasin, how did his wife suffer her condition, how did they find them anyway.

Damn you, I have another hook in my mouth and your reeling me in again.

Great writing...Hey, is george going to make an appearance in this one. He must demand big bucks these days. My dog Gracie has been in one of my stories, but its not worthy to post...maybe if I run low on material.

Be waiting for the next installment.
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Posted by darrinbouley
2008-08-17 22:11:50
Great start...

Philip,

Okay, I'm hooked for chapter two. Nice job with the detail relating to the neighborhood and landmarks. It really put me there. Also, it sounds to me that you have done some research or had some personal experience with the subject matter. It really provides a level of depth to the story that gives it a hard punch. The next one can't come soon enough.
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-18 01:15:42
Backgrounds

I spent the greater part of every other Saturday during the football season in teh late 1960s at the City Ground watching childhood heroes play for Nottingham Forest, so the area of the Meadows and St Annes is/was familiar to me, as are the pub locations in the area.

A large part of my later working life passed in the Hockley and Radford areas of the city, and this too helped.

If the detailed and protracted scene setting took time, then that is how the story required it to be.

The tale is in four parts and will follow my usual pattern, so be warned.....

Phil
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Posted by sebcoco
2008-08-18 01:32:30
....

I like it.

By your great and full description of places, you make your story really believable. Therefore, the reader hasn't other choice to be gripped by the story.

I'm definitely waiting for the second part.
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Posted by d.dasgupta
2008-08-18 07:46:22
Looking forward

Great start to the story. What led to her condition is the first puzzle and then of course the rest of the things. This story will be full of happenings for sure. We'll keep guessing.
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Posted by Daren
2008-08-19 15:15:12
So far so good...

Of course I'm going to the next chapter, I'm in deep now.
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-19 17:56:45
....

yeah, this story was great as usual =]

Your stories are always so well planned out that whatever happens in the end comes as a shock, but its feasible.
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Posted by Andy6
2008-08-20 05:46:53
Well impressed

After reading your comments on one of my own pieces i thought i would give one of yours a look, and i'm pleased that i did. Very accomplished, you obviously paint a good picture. I see you have part two published and i will read on because the start you've made really merits it. Could develop into something special, nice one!
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Posted by bamaboy
2008-09-13 12:08:21
....

Wow, you continue to amaze, the descriptions you used in the story were great. I love the use of flashbacks in the story, I think it adds to the suspense. Well great story, I'm going to go read the other chapters now.
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-10-01 06:07:08
Blind Faith, Chapter 1

You know, there are too many comments too read, so I'm skipping them. Hope I don't repeat someting another commenter has already said...........

Anyways, you've got me hooked once again, man. Very interesting and VERY entertaining. I'm always fond how you can store so much information in each paragraph and not make it seem rushed. Also, is 999 the same as 911?

On to the next for me.......
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Posted by Roby
2008-10-14 22:38:48
....

It's intresting to hear stories (although this one is fictional) about gang murders in England. There is a lot of them in America, and the number of those seem to increase.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 18 August 2008 )
 
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