Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-15 10:01:14
nice
this is a nice hopeful piece of work.
the only thing, i think, that i had any sort of conflict with is the line that said that the world wasn't like it used to be...
unfortunately, as long as there have been humans - there has been conflict. the evolution of technology has just made it possible for us to see it all.
write on!
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-08-15 15:36:44
Our Wings From Destruction
I really like the message you are conveying, but I think the flow was kind of off. Maybe try getting a less amount of words to express what you want to say. You dig?
by the way that is an awesome title.
Cheers,
Max
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-15 15:50:43
....
This is a great poem of ones love for his fellow man/woman. Wishing them all good will. The one line I didn't understand 'the world wasn't like it use to be' whats that mean (past tense)thought it was a nice poem regardless.
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Posted by Dr Lucifer
2008-08-15 16:42:02
Loved it
It has a great title and a great message. I wonder if you mean to use the word "than" instead of "then" in the last line. Thanks for the great read and keep writing.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-15 20:40:04
....
i'm not really a big fan of optimistic, hope filled poems....but this one hit a nerve with me. i really enjoyed this and i think you did an amazing job conveying hope. this is a favorite. thanks.
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-19 13:36:59
inngs.
You have redeemed yourself, for me anyway.
I feared you were going down with Leonard Cohen Syndrome. (Thats the sickness where you become a parody of yourself and everybody knows it but you).
There is always light at the end of the tunnel because the optimists made sure that the switch couldn't be seen by anybody who wallows in self pity.
They don't raise their heads often enough to clock it.
Kind regards
Four muscles to smile. Twenty muscles to frown.Not worth the extra effort.
Harmattan.
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