Primal Need, Chapter 1

Primal Need - Chapter 1 Blood. The metallic...

Dominate the House

The birth of my nephew is what brought me back to...

The Ticking Man


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Written by Alex Hodson   
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
11:05:30

There's a car that's just pulled up,
Inside is the Ticking Man, his face
Dripping sweat and tears
With excitement, fear and adrenaline,
He's feeling ready, it's his time,
Just a few more minutes, seconds,
Until the act of ultimate selfish sacrifice
Blows a hole in time itself,
There's just a few minutes now
Before he triggers it.

11:05:40

The Ticking Man is looking around,
He's seeing faces of children, women, elderly,
All of them people, all of them still ticking,
He only sees traitors to the cause,
Obstacles in the way of his release
Into heaven
And he'll release these people too:
That child with the lollipop,
That woman with the pram,
But only when the right time comes.

11:05:50

It's very close now,
His victory is nearby,
He's ready to take the plunge into the
Abyss
And show the world his cause, his truth,
Tick, tock, tick, tock,
The time is at hand,
The crowd is oblivious,
His trembling finger pushes the button,
His bomb is triggered

11:06:00

And the Ticking Man
Ceases to tick.



Copyright 2008 Alex Hodson
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Comments (9)
Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-13 12:24:19
Brilliant

This is absolutely brilliant. I can read the fear in these words about the suicide bomber. The absolute fear and the determination to blow over everything and eveyone including himself.
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-13 12:26:01
SUICIDE BOMBER

I would have liked it more had you given the reasoning behind what makes them commit this kamikaze. What motivates them to blow themselves along with so many other innocent bystanders. Keep up this effort for I like reading unusual stuff.
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-13 13:44:32
Reason

There is no reason, that's what makes this piece so strong.

We don't understand...therein lies the power.

Good piece of work. Liked the countdown - very effective.

Phil
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-08-13 18:01:03
The Ticking Man

Thought this a pretty cool verse.

Every body is a Ticking Man/Woman. There is only so much a human being can take before they snap. And the more they bottle up the more dangerous they become.

I liked this a lot.

Cheers,

Max
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Posted by colemoriss
2008-08-13 18:47:44
....

i liked it alot, very, serious stuff. i wonder if this guy happens to be from the middle east. just kidding, small joke, no but realy, is he?... kidding still...
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-13 21:35:25
....

very cool. i liked this. haven't read anything quite like this on here before, which is a good thing.
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Posted by Ashutosh
2008-08-13 22:32:08
Very nice

I think this one's quite well-written. I know well-written is kind of vague and cliched but thats what one uses when short of words.

I really luiked the flow, the structure and the imagery. I think it was quite an emphatic piece and very clear.

Great work!
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-08-17 00:39:47
....

Unique and interesting piece. Liked the pacing and countdown. You conveyed the character along with his intentions and thoughts in a believable manner. Great job!
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Posted by J Writes Again
2008-09-28 03:57:35
Wow

My heart is racing. This frightened me. So much passion/dis-passion. I kept hoping he would back down.

You took all to a very real, very frightening place with this poem. It beats zombies, aliens, werewolves and vampires in the fear department.

Reality always does.

Has our time run out?

J
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