It Doesn't Take Much, Chapter 1

Great. Just GREAT. The check engine light has...

Elijah

The distant door closed shut behind him with a click....

Attraction


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Written by shagufta   
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Temptation, the evilness of the female anatomy;

Curiosity, the desire to fall head over heels,

The challenge to see how far we can go.

The fruit of love, the giver of birth;

Planting the seeds for carnation,

Giving the spirit of light to the right to life.

The quest for freedom, an endless journey,

Yet we are trapped in our own doing.

As the rainbow rests over the immeasurable distance,

So too the destiny of one, resting just over the horizon.

Mindlessly, aimlessly trying to reach our goal,

Always looking to strive for better, for more;

Never content with the level of arrogance,

Our ignorance is our murderer.


Temptation, the apple that once fell from the tree,

Falls no more.

The tree is alone, no one is there,

No need to fall to tempt.

The leaves wilt, crumble and depart the tree,

Like a couple breaking up and shattering the hearts,

That once was shared, occupied and loved by the two.

The tree loses its bark, dieing from lesions,

Dieing from loneliness, broken heartedness;

Dieing for love, dieing without love.


Temptation, the ability for one to never be satisfied,

Polygamy or monogamy

Going against nature or with nature.

If we are a part of nature,

Then how we have evolved must be right.

Nature makes everything happen for a reason;

From Neanderthal hunters to civilised Cro-Magnons.

Yet, I don't see my world as a civilized one,

And temptation ruins the best of me.

Temptation is killing me...

I possess a mind full of sorrow,

An empty heart and a body that is hollow.


Regardless of how many warning signs we get,

We are still blinded from the consequences of temptation.

It feels too late, I feel I can't survive without her,

My heart sinks every time I think about it.

The ultimate price has been paid,

******* temptation got the better of me!

The past is too disturbing and cannot be changed,

I can't lose her, I won't lose her.

I don't want to carry on without her,

The true power of the human spirit is yet to aid me

I have done wrong, I have learned,

I have prayed, I have changed,

It's not too late...it's never too late.

Love Will Prevail.

Copyright 2008 shagufta
Keyword: Attract Tempt
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Comments (12)
Posted by Helpless
2008-08-13 08:26:54
....

Pretty deep and kind of dark. I liked it. It does show the desperate side of love. The feeling of no way out. Well done. Thanks for a great read
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Posted by allmine
2008-08-13 08:42:11
....

I understand what you are trying to say, but I think that you have so many words trying to metaphor your carnal lust that they get in the way. Try to see what you can make more clear...maybe it is the order of your stanzas...like the one about the tree...I don't think that was where it should have gone...
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-13 12:39:39
Attract Detract

Your range of topics are distinct and diverse. After reading a nationalist poem, I wouldn't expect a dark one from the same poet. But I am not sitting in your mind. A poet can bring out varied emotions.
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-13 12:41:31
Deep

As Helpless says, it is pretty deep. I read it and re-read it. Each time I find a different meaning. You are way too deep in thinking for these are not superficial thoughts. Also, you are a loner, a lost case in love.
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-13 19:28:07
i think

that for my taste - it ran a little long. but sometimes its not easy for a person to squeeze their brains out into a convenient package.

long in word, but words good enough to keep reading past my typical stopping block.

i only got lost in one area:

Polygamy or monogamy

Going against nature or with nature.

i have often wondered which was which... ?

write on!
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-13 21:17:56
....

i actually thought this was way too long. but i did like the emotions you were describing and how well you were able to. it's definitely a thought provoking piece...but i felt like you put too much in here.
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Posted by Codi_Del_Rossi
2008-08-14 18:19:44
Wow

Wow. This is really dark and deep. It's a poem you can read ten times and pull something different from it each time. Really cool.
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-15 22:21:43
Thanx! ONE

Wow. Wow. Wow. Thanx for the timely reminder. So, FOURteen and SOURteen have quit the scene (!) And we have two new entries – two ASHes! Both ranting and easily forgotten. How did they escape me! I enjoyed their masquerade totally. Oh boy! So I have consigned both in the BOW by spreading their ashes there. May their souls rest in peace in cold water. So, the SCUMs were at play while the cat was away. Hmm. Read my new poem and enjoy how I’ve dealt with scums! Ha! Haa!! Haaa!!!
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-15 22:23:44
TWO

For your timely reminder and my mistake, I promised, I will grace you with five comments. So, here is the second. I love limericks. You get the first one here:

There once was a jojo named Ash

Who entered the house with a flash

She flashed her arse

And said what the parse?

But still could not win the cash.
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-15 22:24:27
THREE

There once was a bobo called Ash

Who some people called fake, fraud and trash

She would laugh like a donkey

But she thought she was funky

And I hope she leaves last with the cash
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-15 22:25:33
FOUR

There once was a zozo called Ash

Who was desperately short of cash

She was always so bitchy

With a rash so itchy

So she ended up in the trash

Ha Haa Haaa!!!
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-15 22:26:21
FIVE

There once was a soso called Trash

Whose real name happened to be Ash

A ghetto girl she claimed

Other housemates she maimed

And she ended the game with no cash

Even 10 comments would be less for the favour you have done to me.
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