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A Michigan TaleThis story may contain adult content. |
| Written by Roby Thomas | |
| Tuesday, 12 August 2008 | |
While the person makes you're life miserable and hard gets the privilege of sleeping in a comfortable bed with her husband's balls in her purse. A lonely man like you must sleep in that homeless shelter, which you are now about to leave out of, and you can't come back to it until seven o'clock PM tonight. You had it all, a wife, two kids, a nice home and a nice job. Then when that lady from Canada was elected to be Governor that is when things went down. You lost you're prize job that paid a steady $72,000 a year, to reduce to a job that pays seven dollars and fifty cents and hour. To make that long story short, you lost your blue and white home you loved. You're wife divorced you without the pre-nup and found another rich man's weenie to knock on and the kids went with her. Recently, you are on layoff of that job and have been bumbling in that homeless shelter for a while, trying to get a break and another job. You hopes of getting that job as a rack packer was cut, due to which that Human Resources person who happens to be female, decided to hire only females. Because, like you're wife, she is mad at her man. So much for Equal Opportunity Employer. It's been one thing after another. All this bullshit, no opportunity, no nothing. This has been taking its toll on you. You haven't shaved in quite sometime and you haven't had a good shower in a while. So you wait at that bus stop, looking to take a couple busses to a benefit at a hotel where this person you feel responsible, is playing chairwoman to. So the connecting bus rides will take a while. Afterwards, you near the hotel, surrounded by mainly high-class types. A few of them frown at your ghastly appearance. For you, you think it must be great to be handed every advantage in life and a little more, like you once did. They can give a very small portion of there wealth to people starving in Africa, or people who lost it all from Hurricane Katrina. You stop will not be at the hotel, it will be at a hardware shop for an axe. The store is not open for the day due to family vacation. You use you're dead credit card to unlock the back door, so no one can see you, or at least that is what you think and what you hope. That nice hand axe meant for cutting wood is rather sharp for you cut your finger touching the blade. With a nice block suitcase that could fit that axe, you step out of that door like nothing's up. And after a short walk, across from you is the hotel, with a limousine parked in the lot, with the state's flag at both ends on the front. You look over the end of the street that there is just one person walking towards you, but not exactly to you, he is just on his way. He wears a nice coat, a suit and tie. And he appears on the elderly side. He walks slowly past, with his wallet in his back pocket. You reach out to snatch it, while the dummy just walks past you. While you walk up to the front doors of this elegant hotel, you see that this dummy happens to be a rich dummy. He has over three hundred dollars in his wallet. You put that stolen cash in your wallet along with you're driver's license out; you are going to get a room. The clerk behind the desk, a lovely female you would like to make love to happens to pour a look at you as if you are way beneath her... only until you pull out that ID and a one-hundred dollar bill for you room. You tell her that you are a indie musician and your small guitar is in that suitcase you are holding. She actually smiles at you and appears sorry that she judged a book by its cover. You express interest in attending the benefit. She hands you a brochure, which explains that she makes her speech at 1:00pm, it's just close to ten now. Plus, it costs thirty dollars to enter the hall where the benefit is taken place. You are lead to the room and you tip the man who has escorted you a twenty of you're stolen money. You'd wish it was that woman at the desk that was hot; you could have tipped her a Benjamin which would probably lead her to your bed during her break. But no, it's you're bad luck that gets you. Of course, you could sleep in that nice bed, opposed to sleeping on that crappy mattress. But you have a job to do and doing it soon would work. It's just a matter of time until that rich dummy figures out his wallet had been stolen. And if he isn't that dumb, he may remember that guy standing in front of that hotel. But, you need to do something nice, so a good shower in that elegant bath tub would do for taking a shower with a line out the bathroom at the homeless shelter, with people telling you to get in and get out, not to mention those hobo showers in the bathroom at McDonalds and Starbucks. After about a hour in that shower, you were remembering when you told you're kids and you're ex-wife back in your greater days of being a homeowner, to not run the water for too long, it costs money. Now, you are a hypocrite for not following that rule, but the circumstances are different. You dry off with a soft towel and get back into you're clothes. You have a job to do, so it's time to do it. You go back to the first floor where the benefit is going to start within an hour. You look down to be a staff card for the benefit with no picture on it. You look around to check that the coast is clear, and snag it. Then you walk to the entrance of the room, with the suitcase in your hand. The guards check you're id and the staff card. You say you work for thee hotel, but it's you're day off. They fall for it, those stupid bastards. You enter thee hall to see that there are only a few people walking around inside. They didn't appear to be guards and they say hello to you, they ask if you are one of the musicians from the easy rock band playing for the benefit, due to which that the suitcase you are holding, looks like something like a case that a small instrument would be stored in. You say yes, it's a trumpet you tell them. You head to the stage area and make a round of it, to find that there are little storage areas under the stage, yet not too small. Hell, you could hide under there if you want. You take a look at the whole area in front of you; no one is paying attention to you. The move is made and you hide... and wait.
Hearing random footsteps, indiscent speech, security overviews. Yet, they failed to check under that staging area. The chairwoman and the person you are angry at, sure is taking her sweet ass time. She was to show up on stage promptly at One o'clock PM. It happens to be 1:20pm. What the hell is going on with that? Did she have her period? Some steps that were hard that came upon thee stage and went onto the microphone. The female voice had announced that the chairwoman of the benefit is now approaching and will now make the opening speech. With a delay, a door opens and a crowd begins to cheer. Arrays of steps are made onto the staging area, and they weaken to one heading towards the center and right over you. Should you do it now, or should you do it later? You slowly move yourself around those small folding tables under that podium. She speaks highly of education and the future of the state, how it is going great and how it will continue. The crowd cheers at those false words. That cheer dies down somewhat when they see a man appear from over the stage from behind smiling. The crowd does not know how to comprehend this, as security begins to notice as well as the speechmaker. They see the man smile at the lady, as security makes there ascend onto the stage. The lady takes a step or two away from the ghastly man, appalled at what she is seeing, the crowd could agree. What was going to look like a mentally disturbed man about to be tackled down and getting his ass pulled away off of the stage and possibly kicked as well had went a different direction. The smiling man had pulled out a single-handed axe. The crowd gasped at the idea that this man was about to attack the lady with the axe. But they would be wrong. The axe made a big swing to the smiling man's own neck that he went for, chopping off his own head. With a large blood splatter that hit the surrounding security guards about to tackle him down, which one did a split second after. The speechmaker's blue two-thousand dollar dress paid by the taxpayers and not from her own eighty-thousand dollar plus salary was stained with blood. An array with confusion had hit the crowd as most of them scrambled to the main doors, running out of the conference room and even the first floor of the hotel. Some stood in shock, while a few stayed with cameras, soon to make tons and tons of money and many views on Youtube (later to be deleted) or blogs. The lady was whisked away fast by security, with a large amount of blood covering her and the feelings of insecurity and the question on why she had this happen to her. Her faith in God had dropped fast, and in the future, she would question that. The police and the news stations don't hesitate to show up. Minutes later, it is breaking news on CNN and all over the world; a man commits suicide while at the governor's speech at a benefit. Only a few sources such as FOX state the man beheaded himself... while smiling. With still pictures of the man before he committed suicide and the aftermath of photos of the blooded security guards and the governor as well. And after that faithful day, your name was out and about. You are listed as a sick, disturbed individual by most and a hero by some. You have your own page on Wikipedia with a picture of you on stage before you chopped off your own head. You are added to the list of people who committed suicide in public, like Budd Dwyer in 1987, along with categories such as Ex-Homeless, Mental Illness-related, etc. The Governor is devastated and later resigns, making some people happy, yet most people remain angry or horrified. You're wife appears on Larry King Live, sadden by the idea of you're death and upset on how you chose it. She also voted for her, as she said, including saying that she encouraged you to do so as well. But you go down in history. You died a somebody. Although what you did was wrong, but for thee first and the last time of you're life, you are worldly recognized. The sickos and the special interests groups love you. You're page on Wikipedia and all of it clones receive a lot of hits, along with you're name Googled plenty of times, beating Britney Spears at one time. Copyright 2008 Roby Thomas |
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