Sliding

              Down

                          My

                Face,

The teardrop begins

                  To pick up its pace.

 I didn't want                                                           

       my emotions to show,

But I needed

                     to

             let

                         go.

                       I needed to b

                                         r

                                           e

                                            a

                                             K

                                              D

                                               O

                                                W                  

                                                N    and cry,

Because a part of me

   felt like I would die.

I kept it

            bottled up  

                               for too long,

                  Thinking to myself

 That I was STRONG.

                                  Instead I shut out all my feeling,

And I didn't leave any place for healing.

                          Now those tears come C

                                                      A

                                                             S

                                                                    C

                                                                         A

                                                                               D

                                                                              I

                                                                            N

                                                                          G  from my eyes,

And reveal all my lies.

Keyword: another poem with a different format

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Comments (26)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-08-11 21:53:17 bottled UP Whoa, this was pretty cool. Even if it was in regular format it would be a really good poem, but i really liked how creative you made this. My favorite part would probably have to be the 'i needed to breakdown and cry' part, i love how the words get bigger and bigger. This must have been a bitch to format. Keep well, Max + Report this comment
Posted by Ashutosh 2008-08-11 22:11:23 Nice one Nice poem. Very creative. As Zombie said, it's a good poem even without the format. But the format is excellent and very craetive and adds to the flavor of the poetry. It kind of physically manisfests the movement and adds and emphasis to it. + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-08-12 18:11:33 .... i really enjoyed this. i loved the format and i loved the flow, basically this was just the best thing i read so far today. i liked the very last line. good job. + Report this comment
Posted by eternalsunshine 2008-08-13 07:56:22 .... This has good rhymes and an interesting format. If you really wanted to play with it, I would love to see something drawn up/with illustration around the words. The first lines were good (what drew me in), but I liked this part best: " I needed to b r e a K D O W N and cry, Because a part of me felt like I would die. I kept it bottled up for too long, Thinking to myself That I was STRONG. " + Report this comment
Posted by Brian W Callaghan 2008-08-13 09:07:17 .... Poetic and artistic. I would have thought that this was gimmicky if the poem itself wasn't well written, but it was. So, instead of coming off ass a gimmick, it is art. You have found a good way to enhance the readers understanding of your flow. + Report this comment
Posted by Tarhead Mugwump 2008-08-13 19:18:07 another double score in the creative department. always happy to see form and function together on one page. the end was a good as the beginning, and was entertaining to read. write on! + Report this comment
Posted by Ashutosh 2008-08-14 03:48:49 .... I read it againa nd I find it quite refreshing. I think the formatting is brilliant. Very creative. As said earlier, it makes the words more emphatic. Makes lines grow alive. Great work! + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-08-14 16:00:26 .... My only suggestion, and its very small, is that instead of 'didn't have any place for healing' you should replace have with leave. Other than that suggestion I thought the poem was great. You did a good job creating the visual atmosphere appropriately. Uck. I sound serious. + Report this comment
Posted by darrinbouley 2008-08-14 18:24:41 Nice Stuff! Here is an interesting format for a poem. I loved the originality of it. What was even cooler was the way it resembled its message. Much to my chagrin, I could really relate to the "bottled up" approach spoken of here. I strongly encourage you to keep hitting those keys with such creativity! + Report this comment
Posted by Helpless 2008-08-15 04:40:53 .... I really enjoyed this. I love the style and how it irregular format works. It brings the emotions sliding down with the feelings that eminate from this poem. Good job. + Report this comment
Posted by Storyer 2008-08-19 13:51:27 Very Cool This reminds me of that book House of Leaves, just because of the tricky format. You made something very pretty. PS. Cheer up! :D + Report this comment
Posted by Dr Lucifer 2008-08-19 18:26:34 Unigue Both the prose and the presentation were superb. Ditto all the other comments. Thanks for entertaining us with this gem. You have talent for thinking outside the square. We'll look for more good things from you. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-08-19 20:28:44 .... I like this poem. This format is fun to do, at least i think. You showed some real emotion in this piece and the visual stimulation only added to its greatness. =] + Report this comment
Posted by nick711 2008-08-20 21:30:27 .... I don't know for sure if this came from insight or not but it truly seemed as though it did. I read this poem once or twice, loving the park where "the tears came cascading". The excellent format of the story only added to its power. Keep up the incredible work. + Report this comment
Posted by bamaboy 2008-08-20 21:33:01 .... I really liked the poem but the format was the best part. I liked how the words like "breakdown" and "cascading" were actually doing that in the poem. Also it would be cool if the outline of the entire poem were shaped like a bottle. + Report this comment
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