Posted by Yasac
2008-08-09 20:57:04
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Interesting take on things, Its nice to see some varity in poems these days. I like how you use your prose and vocabulary together, poetry is so much easier when you have more words to work with
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-08-09 21:13:07
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Oh wow ... this is a really awesome Poem, Kasi. This is just so Poetically cool, the entire thing. I really liked the third and fourth line the best, though. Acoustic lips is such a good play on words I think.
Really, really, wonderful Poem.
Take care,
Max
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Posted by June Eclipsis
2008-08-10 13:03:06
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I have never been one to be good with rythming poems. I found this to be very well done. It was very beautifully written and was had a wonderful flow to it. I loved it.
Btw, beautiful picture :)
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-10 13:53:49
and poetic
Classic conundrum well done
Being fed up is difficult to convey.
I felt a great sympathy for your dilema so skillfully described.
Will be back for more.
Kinf regards
Harmattan
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-10 16:44:11
Imagery
This is highly surreal and vivid with imagery. You have put forth your point of vieew in a concise and rhyming manner that is not easy to achieve. There is maating, there is pleasure and there is apprehension. A good contrast. Keep it up.
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Posted by JonStalk
2008-08-10 19:52:28
A painting of words
Reminds me of a painting, something you'd hang on the wall in your living room. The language is calming, yet I'm unnerved by the situation I'm interpreting. It seems the narrator is in some sort of emotional transgression or bind, maybe. I absolutely love the line 'Acoustic lips that smile through poetic rhyme'...I've never read such a nice description. Great job, as always!!!
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-08-12 19:22:49
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Awesome! I've always liked your use of vocabulary in your poems and this one is no different. Great subject matter. I like the inevitable and questioning feeling in this. Great job.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-12 19:46:16
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i did really like your usage of words. "Acoustic Lips" is something i've never heard said.....but it sounds beautiful. good job.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-15 18:55:01
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You have the talent to write poems with deep meaning, I can only write simple poems of meaning. Thought this was beautiful and enjoyed reading it. :)
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Posted by Ashutosh
2008-08-29 23:56:41
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This one was Excellent. Very dense and perceptive. I really like way you put the non-verbal into words here. Lots of condensed feeling.
Keep writing!
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Posted by the Processor
2008-11-10 11:24:49
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everyone else's comments say it all....this was really good. Like the "Acoustic Lips" comments as well..could make a great band name
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