STORIES FROM CAMP 6, Chapter 1

THE RED HAT ( Dedicated to W.J.Martin)...

Invasion©- chapter 1

The morning sun had begun its rise in the far...

Twelve Step Madness


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Written by Max Booth III   
Saturday, 09 August 2008
Walkin, talkin,
Blinking, thinking
Robots, good thoughts,
Futuristic loser characteristic,
Hit me, bite me, be very frightening,
Please lie, please cry, damn you, just die,
Stick the needle in your arm, lie down and crawl
In this funny room, the place you know to be your tomb,
Empty bottles hit linoleum and rattle, does sober even matter?
You might do some time, screw it you’re not the one to pass up a coke line,
Wife and kids think you’re not the same, it makes you want to blow out your brain
When you see their sadness, so maybe you’ll just hop aboard this twelve step madness.

 



Copyright 2008 Max Booth III
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Comments (11)
Posted by Codi_Del_Rossi
2008-08-09 19:17:57
Cool

I really liked this. The word choice, rhyming, and imagery were amazing. And the way the poem is laid out is very intriguing from a visual point of view. Well done!
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-09 20:29:21
work

that is what this poem had to have been. dealing with font, format, and content together had to have been a little stressful - for that alone i rate it high - doesn't hurt that it's actually good!

write on sir max!
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Posted by ams
2008-08-09 21:56:07
....

i loved how you set up the poem to look like a set of stairs and there were twelve steps. so it was like the gradual steps to insanity, how we all start out the same walking talking and then we progress to insanity.

not sure if that was what it was ment to be, but that was my take on it. either way i loved this.
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-08-09 22:06:24
....

LINOLEUM!!! I love that word. I agree with Ams. The 12 step to insanity. Pretty slick with those rhymes Max. You gonna shoot these out when you start bustin' those notes out of your guitar?
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Posted by Ashutosh
2008-08-10 08:52:54
Cool

This was cool. I like the way you have tried to experiment with the verse. I thought it was stylish and eccentric in it's own way.

Cool and original. You certainly do have a good tealent. Keep polishing it!
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Posted by Kasi Elaborated
2008-08-10 13:58:04
twelve step madness

Great way to visually explain the context here Max... You are wise beyond your years, has anyone ever told you that before? I never thought of it as stepping down, I can see how sobriety leads to negativity.
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Posted by June Eclipsis
2008-08-11 08:36:07
...

I really liked the layout you used. It makes the poem feel like it's really growing and gives it a rising feeling. Greatly enjoyed it.
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-11 12:41:11
....

Nice job Max. twelve step madness is right.. i'd like to twelve step his ass. o.0

anyway, the poem had great flow, the format was cool. i kind of viewed it as what started out small (the two word beginning) can get out of hand gradually and end up huge. =]
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Posted by allmine
2008-08-11 16:26:23
....

Oooh such anger. Either from the one watching it..or the one doing it. Which is it? I like the stair step effect and I like the flow. Worked out good. It was like a train that started going faster and faster...until it was completely out of control. You definitely have a way with words...
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-08-16 20:06:16
....

I really liked the way you played with the length of the lines to create a visual set of stairs with with poem, in fact I just read it again, yep twelve steps! It read to me like the first lines had massive amounts of expression for so few words. I will admit I dont get the reference of robots in what for me is a poem about substance abuse, it seemed a bit out of place. Well done very original concept Max
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Posted by Ruby Whispers
2008-10-31 02:48:38
Gave Me Chills

Raw.

Emotional.

Hard Hitting.

Beautifully Ugly.

You fascinate and scare me.

I shall keep reading your work, and learning from you.

Amazing.

J.
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 09 August 2008 )
 
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