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6 Minutes Until tomorrow


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Written by Paul Harris   
Friday, 08 August 2008
 

6 Minutes Until Tomorrow

 

A flash of lightning lit the room for a millisecond, burning the image into his mind.  Her soft, pale skin, the skin he adored.  The skin that he had a compulsion to touch.  Her dark blonde hair fell slightly across her beautiful face.  Her lips parted slightly in a contented smile as she slept.  He listened to her slow, deep breathing. A distant rumble of thunder made her stir slightly.  The white sheet slipped from her shoulder.

 

A soft cool breeze ruffled the curtains, a brief respite from the oppressive heat and humidity of the mid-summer night.  The rain started, gently at first, then within seconds building to a deafening torrent.  Another bolt of lightning lit the room with a blinding flash.  Immediately a roar of thunder followed it causing the small glass bottles on her dresser to tinkle together.

 

She woke, and reached out.  He felt the heat from her body as she pressed herself to him.  Her fingers ran from his shoulder blades to the base of his spine.  Her long smooth legs entwined with his.  His body responded to her. They kissed, lazily at first, then more urgently as their desire for each other built.  His hands explored every part of her, delighting in the softness of her silken flesh.

 

When they were finished, he lay propped up on one arm so that he could look at her.  His love for her grew stronger every time they met.

He kissed her gently, "I..." He began.

"I know." She whispered.

 

Lightning again.  Another image.  The picture on the wall, the picture that she had bought for him. The clock beside the bed, 23:54.

 

*******

 

I saw you on the other side of the street. I called your name, but you didn't hear me.  Frantically I tried to push my way through the river of people as they flooded my path.  Desperation began to overwhelm me and I started to panic.  I couldn't breathe. I had to reach you. People blocked my path. They looked right through me. Not seeing. Not noticing, unaware of my need to reach you.

I called again and again, no one heard, no one helped.

At last I reached a clear space.  I stood in the middle of the empty road, the rain poured from the slate grey sky.  I looked around, you were gone.  I stood, lost, alone and scared.  My clothes were soaked and clinging to me.  I didn't care, I needed you.

 

You must remember the times we had.  Sitting together, not needing to speak, knowing what each other was thinking.  Alone in a crowded room.  I would look into your eyes and see flames dancing.  Thoughts and words playing behind deep pools of beauty.

There were the times that we laughed together until we ached and could laugh no more.  Times we cried, when the whole world seemed to be against us.

We held each other as tightly as we could.  Scared of letting go, in case we lost the moment.

 

I wanted you so much, and you told me that you needed me.  We were together, we were in love and we were invincible.

 

But the dream was fragile and it shattered around us like glass.  You were gone, leaving me alone and lost.  I couldn't see you, I couldn't reach you.

 

I need you.

*****

 

He sat beneath the towering oak tree.  Oblivious to the rain that had soaked through his clothes.  He shivered, although it was not cold.  Steam began to lazily rise from the pathway in front of him as the evening sun began to win the battle over the damp tarmac.  Random droplets of water fell through the leaves, rattling their way to the ground.

He looked up expectantly as he heard a car engine approaching.  A small car, overloaded with teenagers reached the crest of the hill.  Why did he think it was going to be her?  He smiled at his own foolishness.

Through his tears he watched as the car passed by him, too fast, too fast.  'Please slow down.'  Briefly he made eye contact with the girl in the driver's seat.  His eyes begged her, implored her to be careful.

Then they were gone.

 

He took his mobile phone from his pocket and hit the speed dial for voicemail.

"Hi, honey, it's a quarter to twelve, I'll be home by midnight.  Love you."  Her voice, soft and beautiful.

He placed the flowers and her photograph on the damp earth at the base of the tree.  Next to the deep raw scar that her car had made in the bark.



Copyright 2008 Paul Harris
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Comments (7)
Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-08 07:14:35
Worsd, words, words.

Bomber, you have this way with words that drags readers into the story whether they wany to be there or not.

Descriptions were spot on (again), and attention to detail was top notch.

This story made me ache. I was there with him all the way, and the ending was perfect.

Great job mate.

Phil
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Posted by bungle
2008-08-08 08:50:52
....

this story full of aching loss left me on the verge of sobbing into my tea. i look around at my loved ones and realise once again the fragility of existance
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-08 14:18:26
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This story kind of jumped around for me and was hard to follow. Although I understood the meaning and message it was just hard to follow. Maybe just not familiar with your style. It was well described and I felt the rain as well. I can also sympathise(sp)with the ending.

Thought it was good.
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Posted by jtalos
2008-08-09 00:17:46
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What your trying to do here might have been best served in a poem.
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Posted by Bomber
2008-08-09 02:32:03
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Fair point. Unfortunately poetry isn't my bag.
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-10 03:01:53
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That's a good storyline but at places it faltered. Where as I was taken in by the pathos and sadness, I wish the protagonist' character was more rounded.
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Posted by The 13th
2008-08-10 05:39:00
....

I didn't think this deserves 3.It's pretty good, just needs a re-write.

If it was me I would have described her last night alive and as he watched her drive away.Then the crash.

A short story is about a snippet of time so i dont agree with the poem idea.Keep writing Buddy.Oh yeah, I liked the last sentence , thought that was sweet(as he rang her voice mail)
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Last Updated ( Friday, 08 August 2008 )
 
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