Plastic

Plastic Taking the knife to...

The Adventures Of Pugswallow, Chapter 1

Pugswallow sat in a mud puddle popping bubbles and...

The Elephant Dance, Chapter 1


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Written by Cameron Godfrey   
Thursday, 07 August 2008

 

Isabelle found herself in a pickle. Not literally of course, as that would be quite unfortunate, but metaphorically speaking. She tried not to struggle. So far, only her feet had disappeared into the sand. But she knew from experience that she needed help fast.

 

She reached for her mobile phone. Motorola V9, special edition, dark gray, with all the bells and whistles. No signal.

 

Yelling was definitely not the answer. Already, her throat felt sore from excessive shouting and all that she had succeeding in doing, was alerting the natives to her exact location. She could hear them coming. Their voices got louder and louder. Their language foreign to her ears. A language of screams.

 

She turned around slowly, sinking further into her grave. A shadow began to form in front of her. It got bigger and bigger. It came from the sky. A spear perhaps, aimed at her heart. Isabelle hid her face in her hands and began to pray.

 

Suddenly, an elephant appeared out nowhere, falling from the sky acrobatically. It landed like a cat, all feet touching softly on the ground. It roared like a lion, and moved like a cobra. It also wore a novelty sized top hat that complimented its ears. Remnants of shoes were wrapped around its incredible ankles.

 

"Sorry I'm late, are you okay Isabelle?" The elephant spoke euphorically.

 

Isabelle stood shocked. Everything she had ever known about gravity, had been shattered in a few lighting quick moments. She felt lightheaded. Her mouth was open wide enough to fit in three small children and a tire. She struggled to find her voice. You would too if you'd just seen a giant elephant fall from the sky and land at your feet.

 

"Paaardon?" Isabelle stuttered.

 

"Didn't you call? I have like three missed calls from you, and when I finally picked up the phone, you hung up." The elephant replied breathless.

 

The elephant seemed very frantic as if it wished it was somewhere else. It glanced around the forest, and then down at its watch. When it turned back to Isabelle, a smile crept across its face.

 

"Ummn... no I didn't," Isabelle said frightened. "Who are you?"             

 

"My name is Thaddeus. I'm offended you don't remember me. I'll just be off then." Replied Thaddeus the elephant angrily.

 

The elephant then bent its legs preparing for flight, tipped its hat, and leaped up into the clouds at a rate of knots. Isabelle pulled a knife out of her pocket, and slit her throat. Nothing meant anything anymore. There was no use living.



Copyright 2008 Cameron Godfrey
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Comments (9)
Posted by garyowen
2008-08-08 01:07:20
....

I was travling nicely with this fantasy untill the last line. It seemed so out of place with the story. I hope you have some rational explanation. otherwise i would advice to reconsider the end.
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-08 01:39:15
Yes........

Agreed, it had the feel of an 'Alice in Wonderland' until you spoiled it with the premature ending.

There's mileage in a story like this and it could be extended considerably. Te rest of it was fine.

Phil
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Posted by Xena
2008-08-08 01:41:49
hmmm

a few good lines i liked... not bad.. the elephant character was money.. pretty extremo.... and like i dont know mr dog man.. im mixed about the ending... like i assume she killed herself because of what just happened with the elephant.. but i didnt get that feeling.. maybe if it was more connecting and shoed something that demoniastrates how confused she is shes gonna cut her throat.. i dont know. i think it works
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Posted by The 13th
2008-08-08 07:25:13
....

I thought I was back in college tripping. Nice whimsical story but the abrupt ending let it down.
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-08 11:59:49
well then,

i didn't go to college, unlike christian, so i didn't have the opportunity to trip over anything there, but i liked the story.

since this is chapter 1 - i'm going to rely on faith that there will be a chapter 2. when it shows up i'll be more than happy to read it, so i can figure out what i just read and enjoyed so much.

write on!
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Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-10 02:44:26
Fantasy

That's a lovely story. I liked the story right from the starting till it proceeded to the very conclusive end. But the ending is abrupt. Is there any particluar reason for this.
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Posted by aeden4416
2008-08-10 22:15:57
not too shabby

i liked it. the ending threw me a little bit. i'm not sure if it is that i didnt like it or that it just came a little bit to soon. the elephant was pretty boss though, i have to admit.
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Posted by taylorj
2008-08-15 20:52:23
haha

Cameron Godfrey, i must, in all truthfullness, agree with these wonderful users of storiesville.com and say that she does not have to kill herself.

after reading this story several times and (partly) editing it i believe that your callous treatment of said character is slightly unwarranted and condradicts the otherwise whimsical nature of this story.

i told you that i'd rate it as a 1 however i feel quite sorry for you so i wont.

*sigh* sometimes i'm so nice and honourable i can hardly stand myself.

lol :)
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Posted by villanova21
2008-08-22 18:09:33
Tripping

This story was a trip and I mean that in a good way!

It did end with a thud but it did have potential.

I would continue this story.
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