Posted by Amatayo
2008-08-06 23:07:53
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This was a love poem that i wrote for a girl that now hates me, kinda of ironic huh. And it is a long story but if yall want to find out the story then just say yeah.
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-06 23:32:09
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this one was good. there were just a couple of errors that i saw.
'your hazel eyes makes my heart' should just be YOUR HAZEL EYES MAKE MY HEART..
'when your angre my emotion sink..' I'm assuming thats supposed to be WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY MY EMOTIONS SINK..
other than that I thought it was a very heart-felt poem. we've all got things we wrote for other people who have moved on... good job =]
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-07 03:49:43
Background
This was a good poem.
Background is not absolutely neccessary to justify what prompted it.
Unless you really feel the need that is.
Phil
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Posted by ams
2008-08-07 11:09:39
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this was a pretty good poem. i really liked it. the last two lines didnt seem to rhyme too well with the 'same' and 'again', but i dont think that that really matters. overall is was quite good.
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Posted by Hodders
2008-08-07 11:45:45
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I was good up until the last line. That spoiled it for me a bit. I think you should of left out 'once again' and have the last line reading 'And let this hard heart sing your name.' But hey I wouldn't listen to me! Good poem overall, I'm looking forward to your next one.
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Posted by alfred
2008-08-07 18:31:30
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ahhh, I feel bad that she left you. Did you read this poem to her. If not, do so, It might win her back.
now for the truth
You should listen to mother lemon and fix your grammar. Thought it was heart felt so ill give it a 3
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Posted by Terry Collett
2008-08-09 13:26:08
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Lucid and moving.
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Posted by Eternal_Bliss440
2008-08-15 09:22:16
Great poem
It is a very good poem. I can easily see how much the narrator loves someone. There are a few typos but no biggie becuase everybody hs those. The only thing that struck me was
For we all wish for perfection then I found you.
I'm not sure if its the wroding or you need to add words but this line sort of breaks the flow of the poem.
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Posted by Forsaken
2008-08-17 04:52:24
Beautiful
Beautiful poem, I don't know what girl wouldn't love this, I know I do. This poem is really well written, the rythem is the same throughout and the words are passionate.
Love it
Jess
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