Population:200, Chapter 2

Another creature had joined the first at the door now....

Plastic

Plastic Taking the knife to...

The Story of a Survivor, Chapter 1


This story may contain adult content.
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Written by Amie Kerlin   
Wednesday, 06 August 2008
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The Sinking...

The older man sits across the booth from me and orders a coffee for himself while I get my papers in order and set my recorder on the center of the table. He is wearing a U.S.S. Indianapolis hat over his graying hair, and he's looking a bit melancholy. After his coffee arrives, he begins to look a little uncomfortable. "You're sure you're ok to talk about this?" I ask.

"Yeah, It will be fine once we get started I'm sure" he replies looking a little pained.

"Alright then. Let's start at the beginning" I tell him.

He clears his throat once, closes his eyes and begins...

 

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I was 19 when I first boarded the Indianapolis in July of ‘45. We had gone to deliver some parts for an A-bomb, called 'little boy' to an island called Tinian. Hush hush stuff. That bomb was eventually dropped on Hiroshima. After that we cruised on back to Guam to get our new orders. That was my first trip at sea and it went pretty unremarkably. We always had the risk of being torpedoed by the Japanese, but I was young and I figured it wouldn't happen to me so soon.

Our orders in Guam were to get over to Leyte Gulf and join up with the fellows from the Idaho so that we could get ready for the invasion on Japan. There were 1,196 people on the Indianapolis when we left on July 28th from Guam and had a pretty uneventful first couple of days. At 00:14 on July 30 I was on my way to the deck, I had a bad case of insomnia, when the first torpedo almost knocked me down. So now I started running to my battle station still not clear on if we'd been hit or if we just hit something in the water.

It was pure pandemonium on the deck. That first torpedo had taken out the bow completely. While we were all still trying to figure out what the hell had happened, the second torpedo hit us mid-ship where we had some powder stored across from the fuel tank. The explosion that resulted was huge. We all got knocked on our butts, there was an extremely loud cracking sound, and all the lights went out. It was so dark then.

This all happened so fast, when I looked toward the bow again all I saw was water, the bow was going down. I realized the ship was still underway so we were just scooping water in. Everywhere I looked, people were screaming and running. The smell of smoke and burnt flesh was overwhelming. I heard someone yelling ‘Abandon Ship' so I ran to grab a life jacket and headed to where the rafts were. By then though, the ship was sinking pretty fast so there was no use looking for one.

When I got in the water, I was immediately sucked down from the suction of the big ship going under. I kicked with all I had to the surface and when I thought my lungs were going to burst I finally broke free and I was gasping for air. All around me there were other men swimming and floating along. Many of them were wounded and there were a lot of men burned from the explosion. Some of us tried to care for them as best we could, but there were no supplies. We were out there with nothing but a few rafts and not everybody had life jackets. When we turned to look for the ship it was gone.

 

To be continued.......



Copyright 2008 Amie Kerlin
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Comments (19)
Posted by Brian W Callaghan
2008-08-06 15:08:47
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Exactly, now we're cooking with fire. Nice expansion of the previous poem. I see the story eveloping nicely here. You have a historical event and you are getting into the minds of the people that were involved. Looking forward to the rest.
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Posted by The 13th
2008-08-06 15:13:58
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My grandad and my great uncle was both in the navy during second world war.They told me some pretty scary stories...

Think youre tellin it with plenty of realism.

Good one Amy now get goin with chapter 2.
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-08-06 15:14:10
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I am so glad you decided to make a story out of this!

I thought it was written extremely well. I kind of wish you could have described the attack more, but then again it happened so fast the narrator wouldn't have seen too much, did he/she?

I liked it altogether. I'm hooked and wanting the next installment already.

Great writing!
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-07 06:06:04
Waiting

Not really much more to say then 'Get On With It'.

The attraction was in the brevity of the introduction, almost as if the narrator had paused for breath.

Come on.........time's passing, Lemon.

Phil
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Posted by bungle
2008-08-07 14:50:51
....

very good, nicely descriptive i can almost smell the fear and burned flesh. i seem to remember the survivors of the Indianas sinking were then plagued by sharks, don't imagin i'm a historian or anything, i was just remembering that wonderfull scene in jaws with quin recounting the tale, i think the truly terrifying thing about sharks is their dead eyes. Can't wait to read more, great stuff
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Posted by garyowen
2008-08-08 02:56:24
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I particularly liked the opening paragraph. It placed me as the reader listening to what was to folow. I feel the subject matter has been often covered and look forward to seeing how your going to give this version some personality. A sugestion if you havent allready thought of it, is to returned to the present tense occassionaly - in the cafe.
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Posted by jesse2008
2008-08-08 21:24:48
Well Done

Marvelously written. The account of the story is just captivating, and leave the reader seeking more to this tale. Having this ex-veteran describe the ordeal is just stunning. And, I’m proud to announce this story and the rest of the chapters will be promoted on my site. It’s the least I can do.

Your Friend

Jesse
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-08-08 23:11:25
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That's right amie write about the sharks! I'll just chime in and say that I liked the conversion as well and hope you come out with another one soon. Looking forward to the sharks.
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-09 20:10:12
nice start

when writing from historical events numbers and locations matter. it's nice to find something to read that requires research, as well as imagination. you have quite a good one going on here; looking forward to reading the next chapter.

write on!
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Posted by d.dasgupta
2008-08-10 00:54:58
Carries conviction

The story is told with conviction. Little details matter as I can see. The part about 'suction' caused by the sinking of big ship told me this was really happening. It was happening to the reader as s/he was struggling to get back her/his breath. One's looking forward to the next part. However, one's also apprehensive -- there could be a lot of pain in this story. One question bothers me. The time was 00:14. It must have been pretty dark. The last paragraph makes me think that it was nonetheless possible for the men to see what had happened to each other as they floated in the sea. I told myself that there was a ball of fire perhaps which kept the area lighted till the ship sank fully. I am not sure if my explanation is acceptable. In any case, the rest of the story is quite convincing.
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Posted by d.dasgupta
2008-08-11 01:12:05
Correction

The part about 'suction' caused by the sinking of a big ship told me ...
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Posted by bamaboy
2008-08-11 19:34:12
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Great story I like how you tell it as someone writing a report of a historical event, this makes it very realistic I can't wait to see the next part of the story.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-12 20:12:07
....

This was interesting. I remember your story stranded at sea with the sharks and stuff..intense. This was told as if you were there, and you took me with you. Very detailed account. Although im not familiar with this story in history, you are making me smarter with it even if it is embelished...which I have no authority to say that it is.

enjoying this story from you...off to the next.
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-14 11:02:00
survivor

Excellent start

I am (you are)going to finish this before I comment

Kind regards

Harmattan
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Posted by allmine
2008-08-14 11:08:49
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A history lesson thrown into a story. We might actually get smart on here...hahaha. You have bitten off a big piece of histroy to write about here...good luck ( I know that it'll be great!)
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 12 August 2008 )
 
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