Posted by chaabuk
2008-08-05 11:19:31
Nice thought
This poem is late in the day but it is one more comment in a biased and racist society. Although, we may think racism can be eliminated, it'll just remain a wish. Nice thought though.
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Posted by ams
2008-08-05 11:51:14
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great poem! it flowed very well, and had a great message. we arent born with racism, its something thats taught to us.
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Posted by eternalsunshine
2008-08-05 14:41:10
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The rhymes in this were good. This flowed well, was laid out well. To be honest, it didn't stand out to me as anything interesting or exciting. I think the writing is good technically but doesn't say anything new. This is a good stanza though:
Ripped slowly away
By a world ever cruel
To judge and be judged
Is societies rule
Also, I know what you mean, but I found it funny that you say "One day black and white won't be colors at all." Because technically...they're not colors. :)
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-08-05 15:47:32
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Read this earlier sir, and left it to come back to as Dearly Beloved was slicing the chicken for din dins (sorry but stomach deginitely rules at our house).
Everything about the poem was good - the morality, the damning of learned human nature, and a society which takes no interest in squeezing out the cancers that are killing it.
In Britain, Stephen Lawrence died partly as a result of institutional racism within the Metropolitan Police and his killers have never been brought to justice.
You spoke out well.
Om a lighter note, it's my kind of poetry. It rhymes, it flows and it's got rhythm (...I've got music, I've got my gal, who can ask for anything more...?). I have absolutely NO idea where that last one came from.....where's me pills?
Seriously, I like it.
Phil
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-08-05 16:03:47
yup!
being one of just a few chamorro-germans running around loose on the planet and having the opportunity to literally reside around the planet - i have a brown feel for things...
but that's not all i have (as well as everybody else on the family tree) - i have an advantage.
you see, there is a trend that nobody can stop rolling around our little green ball - the world is slowly but surely turning brown... :)
it's the happy medium!
write on
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Posted by C.R. Vard
2008-08-05 16:21:27
excellent
the last line is just fantastic...great message in just 4 stanzas, each of which carried the message perfectly. excellent poem. great to see this on here again.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-08-05 19:47:18
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very good poem Potter!! i thought this flowed well and the message was conveyed greatly. really good poem.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-08-05 20:12:58
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Black or White is not a color? Not sure I agree with you on that. Like today if you were to ask me what color is my shirt that I have on...I would say black. What else could I say? black is black and white is white. But technically somehow im sure there not, but in my book they are.
Thanks for all the comments, I will surely return the favor.
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Posted by lemon
2008-08-05 20:15:15
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Great job! This flowed well and the message was easily understood. I liked how you said that we were born without prejudice and how society is where we learn these things. unfortunately some are raised racist in the home from a very young age. Nicely done Potter =]
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Posted by onyxdragon
2008-08-06 11:04:55
Good thougts
I don't know that I could find myself paying much attention to the "critique" of the poem itself. Since it's a personal statement on something ethical, I think I'll just focus on your thoughts. And they are appreciated. Racism will never cease to amaze me, to a degree. To think you could hate someone simply because of their skin tone baffles me. It's an oddity. And quite ridiculous. Grow up, people.
Yikes... I need to stop.
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Posted by allmine
2008-08-06 19:34:56
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I remember how heartwarming and touching this was. Sad that society judges so much on skin color. Ever see children play? It's only their stupid parents that judge
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-08 05:51:24
racism etc
This is my kind of poem.
It says something.
Racial intolerance, particularly by colour is actually as nurtured as the weekly warfare of soccer hooligans taunting each other wearing their team's colours. We all need a pack to belong to. We all need a territory. And a king.
And I suppose that sort of idea is as old as organised religeon!
I fought for years for any minority that I imagined needed help. In my dotage I still believe in fair's fair. What I object to is the erosion of culture (ie history, a sense of place, legends and myths, ) by
sensible-shoed do-gooders who believe, for instance, that church bells should offend muslims.
But I do not think the answer is in us all turning a bit browner, or lighter.
The answer is in acceptance and tolerance of differences.
Good one
Write on
Kind regards
Harmattan
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Posted by Storyer
2008-08-13 21:39:49
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Black and white aren't colors... they're shades! Joshing. I really enjoyed this poem. It has a whole-lot-ta heart. Good job!
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Posted by Ashutosh
2008-08-13 22:16:46
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I think the spirit of separateness is deeply ingrained in man. And I never understand what it is tht makes a person think he is difefrent from another human being. Why does this though even occur to him.? And religion, nationalism, racism - they are all the same. Breeding this sense of division, separation.
Physically, one may be diffrent from another, but psychologically, at the very basic level, we are all the same. We are the same species and we share the sun, moon, the sky - we share the same consciousness. Every human being in any part of the world goes thru pain, anxiety, lonliness, and so on. The brain we have is the brain of a human being and not just "my" particlular brain. It is a result of time, evolution and all that man has gathered all these millenia. Our mind is the book of mankind. Oneself is the world, not theoretically or as an idea, but actually. I think one needs to have an insight into this. See the beauty of it. You are the world!
Nice poem, by the way.
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Posted by Pilgrim
2008-09-12 15:16:19
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How have I missed your excellent poetry.
When truth is spoken an innate voice confirms within our spirits and proves that we all have God's law within us.
This is one of those confirmations.
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