Fat  free, graham cracker crust

(cause the true thing is only lust)

Set it aside

(as he did with my feelings, and my pride)

One cup of sugar, wait no sugar free

(damn his tenacious will to be)

Sliced up lemons, slightly mashed

(for his sour mouth that always lashed)

One cup of light cream cheese

(He hates cheese and I aim please)

One cup of pineapple, no need to crush

(because of him I am always rushed)

Throw this together, messy and freeze

(and taste his viciousness, and my feeling of appease)

(yes, this was inspired by the movie Waitress, and my will to loathe)

Keyword: Loathe him Pie Lemon

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Comments (10)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-08-02 00:37:23 .... I think you need to reread through this and fix a few simple mistakes. I'm so-so on this one. I would watch slicing up lemons by the way, that's just a pure characteristic of a sadistic monster. Are you a sadistic monster? Well, I hope so. + Report this comment
Posted by Vintage prose 2008-08-02 00:39:39 .... Thanks for the heads up. It wasn't this garbled in word. + Report this comment
Posted by Vintage prose 2008-08-02 00:43:46 .... Oh and the contents of this pie contain no body parts. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-08-02 00:50:13 .... it was interesting. i liked the thoughts mixed in with the ingredients. i havent seen waitress, but this poem was good. just don't mash anymore lemons please =] + Report this comment
Posted by Hodders 2008-08-02 04:48:40 .... I think this could be a very good poem if you re-read it and edit it a lot more. I liked it to begin with but it seemed to get worse as it progressed. I think what lost it for me was this sentence: 'He hates cheese and I aim please'. With a little work I think this could be a great poem. + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-08-02 05:43:21 .... Thought this was a pretty neat idea for a poem. Funny. + Report this comment
Posted by Tarhead Mugwump 2008-08-02 10:35:58 nice i've know many a woman that associates eating with emotions, and i know many a man that wonders how the transition actually occurs... well, now they don't have to wonder anymore - they just need to read your poem. write on! + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-08-02 12:57:36 .... i really liked this. at first i wasn't sure but then i reread it and i enjoyed it. i liked how you included the thoughts as well. very interesting! + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-08-02 13:48:47 Mixed Emotions aren't rational and the poem brought this across very well. Messy stuff comes flooding out when irrationality takes a hold. Good poem. Phil + Report this comment
Posted by Vintage prose 2008-08-03 00:20:38 .... As I re-read as suggested, the only thing I find that may cause confusion is the line- (He hates cheese and I aim please) stating that is sarcasm, the fact that what he likes does not matter at all. Thanks for all the comments, I was curious what you might think. + Report this comment

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