I've been thinking lately Mark.

About what?

You know that cemetary I own?

Westfields, sure. What about it?

I got the most ingenious idea a couple of days ago.

For a cemetary?

Yes. You see I was strolling along surveying the land when out of the clear blue I noticed a similarity that Westfields shared with my favorite past time.

Oh no........you don't mean?

That's right, miniature golf.

You can't be serious....

What's wrong with you Mark? Have you ever looked at a cemetary? They're perfect for miniature golf.

Well what are you going to call it?

I'm thinking Full Holes Putt-Putt. Get it?

Oh my God Nick. You're going to offend sooo many people with this. Please just let it go.

LET IT GO!? This is the most original idea I've ever come up with! It's brilliant!

It's insensitive and immoral!

Psh. I knew you wouldn't understand. You couldn't possibly imagine what goes on inside my mind.

I've had nightmares about what goes on inside your mind. And besides that, how are you expecting to get away with this without being sued?

I've got an entire spread of land that doesn't have any bodies in it yet. So what I'm going to do is reserve that space for willing participants who wish to finance their own obstacles.

Oh my God. You mean?

That's right! Anyone willing to design their tombstone as an obstacle can be part of the course.

You're going to have people playing miniature golf 6 feet above dead bodies?

I sure am.

Seriously?

What?

No one is going to want to be a part of this.

Really? Because I've already got 11 people.

Who in the Hell did you get?

Well your mom signed up.

WHAT!? You asked my mother to be a miniature golf obstacle!?

Come on Mark she loves the idea. She'll have a legacy to leave behind.

She'll be a hole!

Not just any hole. The first hole. She doesn't have much time left if you hadn't noticed.

How can you say that about her!?

Well obviously I've got to consider that most of my participants aren't going to be available for a couple of years. This isn't exactly a short term plan here. In the long run I'll be getting paid for the plot and the golf. It's like a two for one!

You're really sick you know that?

So how do you feel about being hole #12?

Keyword: This is such a great idea! I wish I owned a cemetary instead of just living next to one.

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Comments (30)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-31 20:31:56 .... Ha! That is a good idea but sick in it's own special way. I thought this was some amusing stuff, you should make more of these short little conversation stories. I thought the name was brilliant + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-07-31 20:37:08 .... ooOOOo who's insensitive now eh? thats right! YOUR GRAVEYARD/MINIGOLF making character. funny stuff. Makes me wonder if your actual conversations go this way... o.0 i agree with the punk.. you should do more of these. + Report this comment
Posted by Tarhead Mugwump 2008-07-31 21:13:12 fantastic humans, i'm sure are the only species on the planet that collects bodies and plants them in rows... i already a putter, just point me towards the course! write on! + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-08-01 09:19:08 And Now For Something Different Following on form your recent success, this just gets better and better. It's absolutely hilarious, and could easily form the basis for a set of comedy TV sketches. You have GOT to do more of these. Phil + Report this comment
Posted by The 13th 2008-08-01 09:33:53 .... Very funny, laughing a way at this. A very original idea. And Phil is right I could see this on some sketch show.BBBC3 have comedy shows with different amusing takes on our mundane life.Cheered me up, thanks. + Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter 2008-08-02 08:56:31 .... Now this is different. Not sure what u mean by Full holes..I guess that there is a body in them..hmmm. I wanna be the last hole where a hole in one gets a prize. Thought it was funny. + Report this comment
Posted by C.R. Vard 2008-08-02 12:21:46 brilliant wow very funny. I loved the line: 'you can't possibly imagine what goes on in my mind.'- brilliant timing. 'Oh no........you don't mean/'- typo '/' should be '?' 'Oh my God. You mean/'- and another this is way too funny + Report this comment
Posted by harmattan 2008-08-02 17:05:48 graveyard greens I was browsing through the new stuff and I went for this because the first few lines grabbed me. Is that an axiom? It is the funniest story I have read so far on this site (I am a newcomer....) It is blacker than black. And it is hilarious Thank you for sending me off to bed in such a good temper. Kind regards harmattan + Report this comment
Posted by Helpless 2008-08-03 05:46:59 .... Hysterical story. What an original idea. Much like your What the hell did you do the dog Brian (which I printed out and passed around to everyone at work, most people loved it. except the lady whose dog just had died), I feel you are at your best when telling the story in dialogue because they are just so funny. I am offering myself to be the 18th hole. Great read. Thanks + Report this comment
Posted by Dr Lucifer 2008-08-03 12:34:01 Great! Hilarious. At least the land can be put to better use than wasting valuable space for dead bodies. (Don't think you need the bold type to differentiate between characters.) + Report this comment
Posted by xiao67yang 2008-08-04 06:07:31 LoL... NicE 1..! AhHAhAHhA.... XD + Report this comment
Posted by jagblane 2008-08-04 10:10:55 .... I don't understand why people think this is so funny? It just sounds like a good idea to me! Afer all golf is slightly more boring than visiting a graveyard so why not get both out of the way at the same time? One little problem I do have is if you did own a graveyard why would you need to make more money out of it? Have you seen how much they charge for a plot these days??? + Report this comment
Posted by snowpatroler 2008-08-04 10:26:27 .... I really liked this, very original. Just my kind of thing. Keep working on it though, still room for improvement. + Report this comment
Posted by ams 2008-08-04 11:33:20 .... loved the dialogue. it was quite funny, one of my favorites. original idea too, i never would have thought about that, a minature golf graveyard. + Report this comment
Posted by eternalsunshine 2008-08-05 14:23:37 .... O this would be so popular with the edgy teens & goth kids! my boyfriend & i would love it! :) anyway, this is interesting. There's no set up really of characters or setting, and i started thinking how this could be two voices in the same mind. except for the mom comment...hmm. Well anyway, i'd love to see this character expanded. + Report this comment
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