Population:200, Chapter 2

Another creature had joined the first at the door now....

STORIES FROM CAMP 6, Chapter 1

THE RED HAT ( Dedicated to W.J.Martin)...

Thoughts of a Soldier
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Written by b.k.   
Wednesday, 30 July 2008

No matter how hard I scrub,

these hands just won't come clean,

stained with the past,

of the horrors that I've seen,

 

The innocent people,

the terrified look on their face,

imprinted in my mind,

impossible to erase,

 

Bodies all around,

friends and enemies alike,

all caught in this mess,

a neverending fight,

 

I often wondered,

what's the point of this war?,

are the things they tell us,

really what we're fighting for?,

 

Or are there alterior motives?,

other goals they wish to acheive,

reasons completely different,

than what they lead us to believe,

 

"United we stand",

"Alive or dead",

is it honestly worth,

all the blood that's been shed?,

 

stay by your country,

or follow your heart?,

this question continues,

to split our nation apart,

 

I look into the mirror,

what do i see?,

surely not a hero,

just the enemy

 

 



Copyright 2008 b.k.
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Comments (19)
Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-07-30 14:20:31
....

Dude, this was magnificent!

I really enjoyed this Poem, gave me a lot of respect for you. Great way to speak your mind and you did it perfectly. I was left speachless with a smile across my face that's how much I liked it. It's a favorite for sure.

Kudos on a brilliant Poem, my friend!
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-30 15:52:47
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I have always felt that one should NEVER join the armed forces if they did not have a sense of patriotism to begin with. even those who join because 'college gets paid for' need to realize that WAR is always a possibility, so if you dont plan on fighting in a war, don't join the armed forces. You've expressed your views very well in this poem. nice job.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-07-30 16:47:26
....

I liked the entire poem, but I liked the 4th and 5th stanza the best. I think you should have ended it with the 6th. The 7th and 8th didn't have that certain feeling I felt with those verses before. But good job...Has anyone ever said 'war is hell' if not, id like to coin that phrase.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-07-30 18:16:09
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well i'm sure you can guess that i loved this piece! it flowed beautifully as your poems always do, and i just loved the message you were bringing forth. and i'm so happy to read this because i feel like i'm the only one on this site who has the incentive to question what exactly this country is about. but you have showed me that there are more of us out there.

patriotism??? no, not for me.
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-30 18:47:26
resistanceisfreedom

I didn't think so, but you wouldnt be running to join the armed forces either lol =]
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-07-30 19:21:02
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lemon, what are you talking about?? you didn't think so?? i'm lost.
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-30 20:20:52
....

you said patriotism wasn't for you so i said 'i didnt think so'
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Posted by ams
2008-07-30 21:05:13
....

i trhought that this was an amazing poem. it flowed nicely and was well written. i enjoyed reading it. the topic was also really good, since i think it was something that a lot of people could relate to.
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Posted by Tarhead Mugwump
2008-07-30 21:36:32
nicely done.

perforating people comes at a price.

fighting a war for a cause that is just, is, on a personal level, the same as fighting a war that is unjust...

either you enjoy making others dead, or you have to rationalize/justify making others dead...

been there, done that.

----------------------

my only hope is that this is written from experience and not speculation - otherwise it's no better than somebody describing how a polar bear feels when he has gas...

write on!
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Posted by b.k.
2008-07-31 06:25:59
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tarhead -i personally am not a soldier, but i was speaking to some people that were. obviously i will never know how a soldier feels after coming back unless i would decide to become one. these are just some of the thoughts they expressed to me. they honestly thought they were fighting for a good reason, but once they joined a lot of different things were exposed. they obviously couldn't quit so they had to fight for a cause they no longer believed in. i simply tried to put myself in their shoes, but i will never pretend i know what the went through, or continue to go through.
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Posted by Dr Lucifer
2008-07-31 10:31:41
Reality

Many of us who have seen combat know that while we may survive we don't come away undamaged. We're going to lose something. It's either our humanity, our life or our tanquility, maybe even our patriotism. Excellent read.
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Posted by eternalsunshine
2008-07-31 12:20:03
....

i thought this was great, very eloquently expressed and it flowed really well. My favorite stanza:

I often wondered,

what's the point of this war?,

are the things they tell us,

really what we're fighting for?,

I really felt like this made it connected with our current war and how the reasons for going into it turned out to be false. Just a suggesting though, if the sentence doesn't need a comma, you don't need to add one. For example, the only line that needs a comma in the above stanza is the first one.
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Posted by Kasi elaborated
2008-07-31 13:38:49
....

This is an absolutely great poem, your rhyming is true to poem form... To me I think there is a possibility that you could put this to music, it's hectically visual in my mind.
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-07-31 16:54:38
....

I agree that this could easily be put into a song. The flow was flawless and the wording superb. I really enjoyed reading this because it doesn't rant or protest outright. It just shows the doubt and horrors one man lives with.
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Posted by harmattan
2008-08-03 16:31:36
a soldier's thoughts

Combat is horror.

Nobody completely survives combat.

The horror changes everybody.

Some never forget, waking or sleeping.

For many, memories are suddenly triggered by any of a myriad of differing words or circumstances.

A few will say they did the right thing on the day, and if the day never comes again, never worry about it again.

Your poem touches on the sad, unavoidable and regrettable paranoia of the first of these three groups, and is a fine read from that perspective.

Don't stop thinking and imagining, but if you are creating images beyond your experience try to avoid the jingoism trap.

Keep writing.

Kind regards

harmattan. (Captain, retired.)
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