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Stars in The Night Sky |
| Written by Julian | |
| Monday, 21 July 2008 | |
She sat poised at the ledge just outside the window of her dorm. It was a windy night. There was not a star in sight. Gazing to the left at the horizon, she could see nothing but a vast plain of darkness, of doom and sorrow perhaps. A gust of chilly wind brushed past her. She was alone. She had always been alone. Sighing and muttering something unintelligible to herself, she focused her attention at one of the windows opposite her. The light was on and the outline of a girl studying could be seen. It was her, the girl she had always admired and envied. She had good grades, was a good athlete but the fact that really made Kelly insanely jealous of her was the fact that she had a wonderful family who loved her very much. Everything she had, Kelly didn’t have. That girl knew it and took every opportunity to mock her and make fun of her. They all were the same; all of them labeled her as an outcast and made every effort to avoid her. The sorrow and rage within Kelly’s heart grew day by day. Sitting there alone night after night, she imagined countless times what it would feel if she were to throw herself off the ledge plunging eight stories below. Each time she thought of it, a great sense of alarm would come over her and her legs would turn wobbly. Kelly was not your average school-going student. She had lost one of her arms and both her parents at the tender age of 4 in a horrific automobile accident. None of her relatives would agree to take her in. Superstitious as they were, they all regarded her as the cause of her parents’ demise. She spent her entire childhood in a home. When she reached her teenage years, she was placed in a foster family. Instead of obtaining the love she had always craved for, her abusive step-father abused her every day. The psychological wounds suffered by her were way worse than her physical wounds. But the conditions at the home were way worse than what she encountered now and she never let slip the fact that she was enduring countless beatings at the hands of her stepparents in fear that they would take her back to that home again. Looking once again into the dark night sky, she wondered to herself how life would be if her parents hadn’t passed away. In grief she started to weep, big drops of tears rolling down her cheeks. A bolt of lightning split the night sky into half. The gusts of cold wind intensified, enough to chill anyone to the bone. Kelly shivered. She looked once more at the window just to find that the light had been turned off. Looking once more to the horizon, she searched desperately but in vain for a star. How she longed to see just one star. She loved stars. She remembered a story she was told when she was little. When people died, they turned into stars, casting their light upon those left behind. Every time she felt lonely at night, she would seek solace in the stars. She imagined her parents looking down on her and she would talk to them, pouring out her heart to them, hoping they could hear her. Then only she would be able to fall asleep, albeit fitfully, her dreams haunted by the taunts of her peers, mocking her. Sometimes she would dream that she lived a normal life just like everyone else, waking up every morning to the sound of her dear mother’s voice, going for long walks with her father and being able to play the violin, piano, things that she could not do now without another limb. Alas, dreams will always be dreams and when she finally awoke, the tears would begin to fall once again and her image in the mirror would always be a cruel reminder that her parents were long gone. It started to drizzle. Raindrops ran down Kelly’s forehead and mixed with her tears. Some ran into her mouth leaving a salty yet sweet taste. She wept. Just this morning itself, as she was queuing up to buy food at the cafeteria, she had accidentally bumped into one of the seniors causing her to spill her drink all over herself. In a sudden fit of rage, the senior had yelled at her. A one-armed orphan who deserved to lose her parents, that’s what she had called her. Kelly had ran out of the cafeteria in tears. The other students had just stood there pointing at her, some snickering and others laughing out loud. She hated all of them but most of all; her fragile heart had taken yet another beating, each cruel word uttered by the senior piercing deep into her soft heart. Standing there at the ledge, she looked down once more. The ground was too far away and it was too dark to be seen. Once again she pictured herself diving into the darkness, falling like a shooting star. Darkness enveloped her soul. She was tired. Life had thrown so much at her from such a young age. She had nothing to live for, no one to support her through tough times. Kelly was tired of fighting. Sobbing, she moved closer to the edge. The ledge was slippery and wet. She almost slipped a few times. Kelly whispered to herself, soon she would be able to meet her parents. Oh how she missed them. Time was indeed cruel. She could no longer remember the faces of her parents, the only photo that she had of them was torn up by her step father. A black void would always cover their faces in her dreams. In desperation she would reach out in attempt to touch their faces but the dream always ended the same way. All she could feel is something wet and when she looked at her hand, it was always covered in blood. Finally she stood at the edge. Kelly’s heart rate started to sky rocket. Her legs once again experienced the wobbly sensation. However, this time things were different. The hurt and sorrow in her heart was tremendous. Another bright bolt of lightning lit up the night sky followed a split second later by a tremendous clap of lightning. She pictured her peers finding her body the following morning. Then only they would understand how much they have hurt her. They would have to carry the guilt with them wherever they went. That she thought, would be her way at getting back at them. She closed her eyes for what could be probably be the last time and took a tentative step forward. Rainfall intensified all around her as she braced herself for the fall. The fall that would finally take her to her parents. “Kelly..” Just as she was about to take the final plunge, she suddenly heard her name being called. She looked behind her immediately. A few feet away from her stood a figure, a figure she had seen many times in her dreams. Walking closer, she stopped dead in her tracks speechless. She stared straight into the face of her mother, the woman which meant so dearly to her. “Mom..is it really you?” she stammered, her teary eyes wide in disbelief. “Yes indeed..my daughter” her mother replied softly. Making her way closer, Kelly realized that her mother’s eyes were too filled with tears. Rushing into her mother’s embrace, she sobbed like never before, resting her head against her mother’s bosom. Both mother and daughter locked in embrace up on that ledge, reunited after more than 10 years of separation. “Mother I thought you were dead?” Kelly asked, never once taking her sight of her mother, for fear that if she were to avert her gaze for a second, her mother would disappear. “I am, but I missed you. Your dad and I think of you all the time.” Her mother replied. “Look, dad has come.” , she turned pointing behind Kelly. Kelly turned to see her father. He took her by the hand and led her into the window back into her room. Looking at her parents sitting before her, Kelly reached out and touched their faces. Instead of feeling blood, she felt their faces with her one arm, every curve and contour. It was not a dream. The three of them sat there on the floor, weeping. It was truly a great family reunion. “Mom and dad, I missed you all so much, please never ever leave me. Can you promise me that?” Kelly sobbed. Smiling sadly, dad reached out and ruffled her wet hair with his hand. “Honey, we love you too. But we cannot remain here. We belong somewhere else now” he replied, a single drop of tear running down his cheek. The silence in the room was deafening, each face etched with an expression of extreme sorrow. “We’ve come back to tell that you are never alone. Every word you tell us at your deepest most sorrowful moments is heard. It is true, when people die they turn into stars, watching over their loved ones. Your father and I look out for you all the time. When you weep we weep together with you, when you are in sorrow, we too feel your pain. We will never leave you.” Her mother answered softly.”Look to the night sky when you feel lonely. I promise we’ll always be there.””The time has come that we should leave, remember what we’ve told you. Do not be discouraged by things of this world. Hold on to your faith, run the good race and one day we’ll meet again. That we can promise you” saying these words, both her parents got up slowly. Cupping her face with their hands and planting a last kiss on her forehead, they walked out onto the ledge. Following her parents, Kelly got up and went to the window. She cried and begged for them to come back. She could not bear for them to leave once again. Just before they disappeared out of sight, both of them smiled at her, a sad smile but a smile that carried a promise that would never be broken. She sank to her knees, gripping both her head in her arms weeping. Looking once more into the night sky, she was surprised to see two bright shining stars in the distance and for the first time that night, even with the howling wind at the heavy rain, Kelly felt truly warm for the first time in her life. Copyright 2008 Julian |
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