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Short Stories Horror Rotting Away
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Rotting AwayThis story may contain adult content. |
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| Written by Tommy Lee | |
| Wednesday, 21 February 2007 | |
| Last Updated ( Sunday, 24 February 2008 ) |
What time is it? Damn… It’s already past one o’clock in the afternoon. I must’ve really drunk last night. Past few days have been just awful. After Michelle dumped me a week ago, I was pretty much in wreck. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t do anything. I just stayed in my tiny studio, and kept on drinking for almost a week.
But today I feel much better. I finally feel like I got over her. I mean I still miss her like crazy. But I don’t want to act like a loser and let my life completely stop just because the love of my life doesn’t love me any more. I guess it’s ex-love of my life now. By the way, what the hell is this smell? It smells like something is rotten. Man, this place is a mess. I need to get off my ass and clean up this place...
There. All finished. I guess one good thing about living in a small studio is that it doesn't take that long to clean it up. I vacuumed, took out the trash, did the laundry, and washed the dishes. The place looks fantastic. Maybe I should call Jack and go out tonight. I haven't hung out with the guys for a while now since I started dating Michelle. Wait. The smell! It's still here. It's even worse now! It smells like somebody's unattended puke found three days later. Where is this smell coming from? Better open the windows. Clean out the refrigerator.
I can't take it any more. The rotten smell is so strong now. It's actually hurting my nostrils. I hear somebody knocking. Oh, it's the apartment manager. I will be right there! Why can't he hear me? I didn't know my door was that thick. What the hell? The door is stuck. I can't even turn the door knob. He's opening my door with his master key and entering my studio. He looks around as if he doesn't even see me, and screams at the top of his lungs. There he goes running like a mad man. What the hell is going on?
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Today's News -
Mike Hugh was found dead today when his apartment manager went into his studio after receiving several complaints about rotten smell from his tenants. Due to the extreme hot weather, his body has been severely decomposed when it was found. It is assumed that he killed himself after bad breakup with his ex-girlfriend.
Comments (27) |
 04-05-2007 11:03, I liked this. Not only because I think it's good period, but also it sounds just like something I'd write. I have some stuff on here too, but it hasn't been posted yet. Carry on! » Reply to this comment... 04-24-2007 22:18, :cry It's a good story. The pain of a young man who loses the woman he loves is so heartbreaking. It's good to hear the man's side of a painful separation. The woman cries and talks, but the man just suffers quietly and goes into self-destruct mode. What a waste of a good young man's life. My son has been going through this experience and everyday I pray he will survive. » Reply to this comment...  05-10-2007 08:43, I don't mean to be a nag here... but how was he able to open the window and take out the trash when he couldn't even open the door for the apartment manager? :? » Reply to this comment... 05-29-2007 18:33, don't want to be rude ...but this wasn't that great. i liked it because it was short and quick unlike the other stories. I think you need to put more emotion into it. A good story starts with a good idea; which you have,but you made the story very undescriptive. I couldn't picture any of it. Because it had very little descriptoin, i could not picture or find intrest in this story. You should also make it more scarrier. :x :roll » Reply to this comment... 05-30-2007 07:58, it hurts lizzy.... :cry to be honest, alot of people did tell me the exact same thing you said. this was the very first short story i've ever written and i know i have a lot of room to improve. Thanks for the pointers! 8) » Reply to this comment...  07-02-2007 13:01, The story isn't very descriptive, true, but the idea was definitely an original one. You have quite the imagination. I loved the turn of events; it was certainly unexpected. You had the element of surprise very well played out here. Something to build up to that crucial moment would have been good too. But I really liked your idea. You sure had me gasping at the end. ^-^ » Reply to this comment... 07-02-2007 14:13, I liked the ending. But you could have done a little better job making the storyline richer leading up to the ending. But for writing a first story, I did pretty good job. 8) » Reply to this comment...  07-06-2007 15:16, Points taken... Thanks for your feedback. I am thinking about writing another scifi story. I have the idea worked out, but it's hard to express it in words. » Reply to this comment...  07-06-2007 20:53, how..did he open the window? » Reply to this comment... 07-07-2007 17:02, Good point... I was wondering that myself :? In overall, I liked reading it. Very good ending. » Reply to this comment...  10-04-2007 23:10, i like the ending, good job! :) :grin :) :grin » Reply to this comment... 10-04-2007 23:10, i like the ending, good job! :) :grin :) :grin » Reply to this comment...  10-08-2007 15:55, i think that it was perfect to have it so simply written... sometimes too much description takes away from the point of the story. I liked it.. good job! =) » Reply to this comment...  10-19-2007 16:50, With the words, you say, some might not quite agree. However, the words you say are your story to tell. Only you can tell your story the way that it ought to be. The way you tell you story is what makes it sell. God bless you, Pastor Reginald Levi Walker » Reply to this comment...  10-22-2007 11:01, I kind of saw the ending coming... » Reply to this comment... 11-03-2007 23:29, what the hell is with all these weird ass comments? » Reply to this comment... 11-13-2007 04:00, where is the story dude...........sorry but you seeme to rush too fast and damn killed the story's major charecter too frigin soon...... » Reply to this comment...  11-19-2007 03:45, I'm gonna have to agree with what some of the people had commented. like the window and the trash, and also what Robert said about having the idea of knowing the ending before it was even read. But all-in-all it was great. A masterpiece. » Reply to this comment... 11-19-2007 23:34, I aboslutly loved this story it is a classic. The point about the trash and window though. It doesn'tsay that anyone actually saw him move them so it could have been all his wishful thinking. :? All in all I loved the story. :grin :) » Reply to this comment... 12-29-2007 00:28, I agree with llamagurl, that's what I gathered after I read the story. That it was just him imagining he took out the trash and opened the window and all that. I really liked the story! Good Job! » Reply to this comment... 01-03-2008 03:35, I liked the story. Maybe lacking the classical structure for some people but nevertheless effective. Short, sharp and thought provoking, perhaps just what it was supposed to be. » Reply to this comment...  01-07-2008 04:46, I enjoyed this. One thing I always seem to hear about the afterlife is the idea that ghosts don't know that theyre gone. » Reply to this comment...  01-09-2008 14:50, I really liked the story and the ending was great!! Good job. » Reply to this comment...  02-25-2008 00:05, Hey. What's the deal? I just read your story along with all of the comments and I'm curious as to why you haven't published anymore. I thought it was a neat little story. It was fun to read. Who gives a shit what others say about lack of description and crap like that?! Those are just pompous idiots who are trying to sound just a little more intelligent than they really are. The story was desciptive enough for the content and point you were trying to convey. Well done. How much more description is needed? We know it's just past 1 o'clock, he lives in a studio apartment, his name is Mike Hugh, there's a bad smell like unattended puke, he lost his girl, killed himself, his spirit now haunts the place. I've read many stories on this site; some by the very people who give their "two cents" and even they have put out a number of stinkers themselves. If any of these comment have discouraged you, shame on you! That's just something you have to deal with. KEEP ON WRITING! » Reply to this comment...  03-22-2008 00:18, do you know Pamela?? lol no JK! » Reply to this comment... 03-26-2008 11:49, excellent job for a first story written....good idea for story, your writing will improve as you write more » Reply to this comment...  04-24-2008 08:49, Interesting. I like to know how he cleaned up the apartment if he was a ghost :) » Reply to this comment... |
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