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Bloodsong: Nurturing Murder, Chapter 1


This story may contain adult content.
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Written by jake   
Friday, 18 July 2008
 

The lights in the club flashed back and forth. The music was so loud it reverberated off the walls. Cole walked through the club, shielding his eyes. He forced his way into the back of the dance floor, and through a red, beaded, curtain. He found himself in a small room. In the room was two couches, on one was a gay7 couple making out, much to Cole's disgust. On the other was a very exotic female. She had tan skin, and almond eyes. There was something extremely fatal about her as well. Cole anticipated this meeting.

"Hello Jane..." Cole said. She bowed her head low. He sat down on the couch, beside her. She smelled of peaches.

Cole started to suckle on her neck. She let out a moan.

"You were right in choosing me, Jane. You have served me well."

"Thank you... let me get you a drink..."

A moment later, he was sipping a martini.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The poor little girl. She could barely see in the dark of the house, and how desperately she wanted to see this man that she could hear rampaging about the house. A hand picked her up by the collar of her shirt. She yelped in horror. A lamp was turned on, and she saw that horrid face. It was rough, bearing many scars, and many wrinkles. The eyes were beady, and blood thirsty. When he smiled, she noticed his teeth were gnarled, and almost like fangs. He growled and he bit down into her neck. Like a dog, he ripped into her tendons, taking much ecstasy in his meal.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Cole, I must tell you something... you may get angry."

"Tell me... "

"I_IM... pregnant, Cole... with your baby..."

Cole's eyes flared gold.

Copyright 2008 jake
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Comments (2)
Posted by Forsaken
2008-07-19 05:50:04
creepy

Nice short story, it's fast paced which is good. It's how a vampire story should be. It was good how you described the kill, 'He growled and he bit down into her neck. Like a dog, he ripped into her tendons, taking much ecstasy in his meal'

What you've creted can sometimes be hard.

*I think the last part kind of ruined it for me; why did she have to get pregnant?

I think this could be very good, just needs alittle bit more to the story. Maybe you could build upon the vampire?
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-19 12:37:45
....

The cannibal was indeed a great touch. Can't wait to see how Cole/The Reaper will deal with this guy. =]
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