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To Bleed, Chapter 4 |
| Written by Chelsea DeCarlo | |
| Friday, 18 July 2008 | |
 Emily was exhausted. Her mother's business trip was extended three extra days, and she couldn't wait that long. She had finally built up enough courage to tell someone, and that courage was already fading. Katherine stayed home, for once, although she had two friends sleep over. They kept bothering Emily. They wouldn't stop banging on her bedroom door, and it didn't like that. The loud noises made it angry, and it was screaming at her. She had to make them stop, then at least, she could calm it down. She jumped off her desk chair and walked over to the door in a daze. The noise was making her light headed. She ripped open the door, tears falling now, and screamed, but the scream was not all aimed at them. "What do you WANT?!" She screeched at the top of her lungs. Her hair was falling out and there were wisps of it in front of her face, which she guessed was beet red. They were immediately silent, their faces going from utter shock to pleasant smugness. They had made her crack. Katherine was the first to speak. "God, Emily, don't get so upset. We just wanted to see what you were doing," Katherine said in an I'm-better-than-you sort of way. Emily gritted her teeth. "My homework," she said angrily. It was in a rage, and it was still yelling at her. She needed to get them out so she could silence it. "Get out." She whispered menacingly. She pushed them through the door and locked it before they could block her. Now, she was alone, but they had started banging again. "Please, make it stop," she whimpered as she started to sob, "please, make it go away." She was on her hands and knees now, this was more than she could take. It was even worse than silence, and it could kill her. She started to hallucinate, and she she saw a black hooded figure walking around her in a circle. This was it, it was him. Emily... It growled at her. She could not see it's face, and she didn't know what would happen now that she had let it out. It had complete power over her now. This was the most horrifying experience Emily had ever had. She didn't know what to do. She was beyond stressed, the banging on the door had grown louder, and now they were screaming her name, and the figure stood over her, pointing to her jewlery box. She knew what it wanted, and she was afraid this would be her final cut. It had wanted her to kill herself the entire time, it was just waiting for the right moment, because even though it would decrease with every cut, her sister's friends were not aware, and therefore not affected. She knew she had to fight, but she did not have the strength. It had worn her down until she was nothing but a heap on the floor of her bedroom. It had won, but it still needed her to finish the job. She tried to think of only happy things, as she lost control of her entire being. She slowly inched toward where her razor was, the bottom drawer of her chestnut jewlery box. It seemed that, in fact, everything would be resolved in the event of her death, but then the thought occured, what if she left a note? She paused, and turned toward her desk. She started to write on a piece of her best stationery.
Mom, I don't know what to say. I have made this decision, and nothing, not even myself, can stop me. I have suffered greatly, and I am truly sorry. It won't let me live. It wants me to die. He has controlled me, and as you'll see, has made me harm myself in the past. But that's not what I want to say. I wanted to say that I did this so I could finally be at peace. I don't want to hear it anymore. It's no one's fault but my own. I will die in great pain, but it will only hurt for a second. I know this because it always only hurts for a second. When you come to death, it's surreal. You realize that you need to live every moment for what is. My death is untimely, as I will pass away tonight, when I am a mere sixteen years old. I love you, and I miss you. Love forever, Emily
She debated on whether or not to write a letter to Katherine, and she eventually came to the decision that she would come off harsh and abbrasive, and she didn't want to upset Katherine any more than her death would. She folded the letter, and set it on her bed, as to keep it free of any red stains that would surely get everywhere. She was not going to clean up the mess this time. She reached into the bottom drawer, surprised at how calm she was. The noises were muffled, as if artilery missles had just fallen near her. She could faintly hear the sister who was about to be an only child. She thought about Katherine, eventually getting older, getting married. She would not be there, but she didn't care. Her mother, somewhere out west, was in a meeting in some conference room. She would get the call, and come straight home. She only shows up after it's too late. Emily could count on that. Her mother never knew. She was truly oblivious as to what her daughter was doing. Maybe this would bring some attention to Katherine. Yes, everything was going to resolve, even if it had to get worse before it did. She took the razor out of the drawer, and pushed it up so the blade was exposed. This was it. She pushed up her sleeve, and didn't stop slicing until she was falling. The razor dropped, and she cascaded into a black abyss which engulfed her in silence. Sweet silence. It was gone. All noise around her fell to nothingness. The last thing she felt was blood dripping down, and her body softly hitting the carpet below her. Copyright 2008 Chelsea DeCarlo |
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