When it comes to super action heroes, I think big. I've lived through Superman, Mighty Mouse, Bat Man and a dozen other action heroes but every one of them is a wimp compared to the ultimate action hero of my dreams.

Gender is unimportant in my action hero. So for that reason I just refer to my hero as "Alpha Omega." I want both a crime fighter and a super humanitarian. And since I'm dreaming up this magical character, I get to have it all. My action hero is omniscient, omni benevolent, omnipotent and omnipresent. That should just about cover every possible power and virtue. So how does Alpha Omega work?

Picture this. An unsavory character lies in wait in a dark alley. His intent is to rape, rob and murder the first vulnerable woman that happens by. But, being omniscient, Alpha Omega, knows all about the plan in advance. Sure enough, as soon as the predator gets into position, along comes a raving beauty. Springing into action he takes the woman by complete surprise. Attacking her from behind, he drags her to the ground. With a knife at her throat, he rips away her clothes and sexually violates her every way imaginable. All the while she pleads for her life. But he doesn't care about her at all. As soon as his sexual cravings are satisfied he moves to destroy the only witness to his crime. Wielding his knife with a vengeance he stabs and slashes the woman repeatedly. But to his dismay she does not die. Instead her wounds heal themselves the instant the knife exits her body. She is indestructible. Something has gone terribly wrong with his plan. Fear sets in. He rises to run but his legs collapse from under him. He lies paralyzed on the ground. The woman rises to her feet and before his very eyes is transformed. Yes, the woman is none other than Alpha Omega. (Did I mention that Alpha Omega travels in disguise?) The woman now assumes the form of a giant snake, a very hungry giant snake. Guess who's for dinner? Of necessity, the predator is consumed and then the huge snake simply dissipates into thin air.

In my world of super action hero, this kind of crime busting scene takes place repeatedly around the globe. No crime is without Alpha Omega's knowledge and appropriate response. In fact, Alpha Omega protects all of humanity from every threat or disaster.

In one of my action hero dreams, I watched as the Titanic hit an iceberg. Alpha Omega lifted the Titanic from the icy waters and set it safely on the ground just outside New York City. No one suffered injury. That was impressive but it is just a minor sample of what Alpha Omega is all about.

When despots conspire to wage war, their bombers and missiles will not fly. Their guns will not fire. Instead, these dangerous characters become babbling idiots confined to an asylum.

Alpha Omega insures that crops never fail, that no one ever suffers starvation. Every missing child is always found. No corporate swindle ever goes unexposed. No medical need is ever without solution. Alpha Omega is truly a hands-on super action hero. He/she/it doesn't attempt to work through incompetent or unqualified human beings. They would often bungle the job. Instead, Alpha Omega delivers those impossible solutions we're unqualified or unequipped to provide.

Don't misunderstand me. Alpha Omega does not do for us what we can do for ourselves. But if we have a need we cannot fill, Alpha Omega is always there. We don't even have to ask.

One of the things I like best about Alpha Omega. He/she/it never asks us to do anything. We are never asked to obey, worship, kill, hate, imprison or make sacrifices. In fact, Alpha Omega will not accept offerings, tributes, monuments or any form of worship directed his/her/its way. Alpha Omega has not mandated any commandments and offers no dogma. There is no good news gospel, no salvation and no offers of eternal life. No priests or preachers are charged to spread any message on behalf of Alpha Omega.

Almost everyone loves my action hero, even though there are no rewards for doing so and no punishment for failing to do so. Alpha Omega is truly nice in every sense of the word!

Alas, Alpha Omega is fictional. There is no omniscient, omni benevolent, omnipotent and omnipresent guardian of humanity. Alpha Omega is just wishful make-believe. You knew that... didn't you?

Keyword: Super Action Hero crime buster saviour

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Comments (5)

Posted by Pilgrim 2008-07-15 16:41:46 .... So, did Alpha-Omega allow his/herself to be raped because he/she liked it? And if He/she/it didn't make laws, then why would He/she/it stop missles, guns, or whatever it is that causes destruction. Would this not give the impression to those using those destructive tools that He/she/it believed them to be wrong? This is just my thoughts. I guess almost everyone would love this action hero except muderers, rapists, theives, liars, exploiters, molesters, cheaters, well, I guess that leaves nobody to love that poor superhero afterall. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-15 18:46:29 .... This was a well written story but I really didnt care for it. The whole time while reading it i kept asking myself, "so what? who give cares?" one thing i didnt understand, why did alpha omega allow himself/herself/itself to get raped before springing into action. maybe he/her/it is just a morbid freak, huh? + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-07-16 06:33:56 .... As satire goes, this was pretty sharp, and played upon all of our fears and frailties. Shame that the main character cannot sustain a more detailed exposure by the way you finished it, beacuse there is great scope for such a big piss take here. Phil + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-07-16 12:29:55 .... I thought this was an amusing story. Nothing about it really stood out to me but that could just be my tastes. If you expanded more on this I think it could be better. + Report this comment
Posted by indianaman130 2008-07-16 20:25:42 .... Pen was put to paper or fingertip to keyboard and a Super Action Hero was born. Rough around the edges, but a great super hero farce. polish it up some and it could shine. + Report this comment

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