The Peacock Case

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

Secrets of St. Margaret's

In the early hours of a brisk October morning, two...

Day of Revelation


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Written by r.e.potter   
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
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          The apocalypse hovered over their bodies as the two lay motionless in the field of tranquility outside their hometown. Staring upwards with uncertainty; the once soothing serenity of the summer sun that once cast beams of distant dreams upon their freckled faces now cast shades of sullen shadows. Even still, as their young hearts raced with trepidation they watched in silent horror as the mighty beast soared above and devoured the suns last drop of warmth as if it were swallowing it whole without even opening its mouth to consume its flame. The day was at hand, and what started out as a warm picturesque day had turn violently cold with a sudden wave of the devils sword. Without a word spoken, the two young teenagers could only gaze despairingly towards the heavens above.

"Johnny, what is it?" Emily asks as she squeezed his hand tightly.

"I'm not sure, but maybe I better get you home." Johnny said as he rose from off the ground pulling her up with a tug of his arm.

"It looks like a horse with some kind of monster on it to me. Oh my God Johnny, do you see that?"

"Yes I do," Johnny said with a look of utter concern on his face. Gazing upwards towards the sky he continued speaking even still with more urgency. "My God, I didn't believe um and they were right, they were right all along...its happening just like was told." 

As they raced toward their homes; the winds rose in a second's time as lightning bolts shot past striking the towns' church and other objects while booms of thunder bellowed in the sudden darkness of the chosen day. Mighty trees that were planted for hundreds of years were pulled from the Earths foundation and tossed effortlessly to the ground like brittle twigs in a scattered breeze while distant sirens echoed in the crying wind, pleading for lost souls to seek shelter from the wrath of the coming doom.

 "Johnny I'm scared," she cried as she held even tighter his hand. "I don't wanna die. I never believed...."

 

        A lightning strike blasted a metel tower off in the near-by distant cutting her off in mid-sentence and sending both of them to the ground.

 

        Seeing an old abandoned barn near the rim of the town, they gathered themselves and scurried past the open doors and fell to the floor landing on a bed of hay. Safe from the onslaught for the time being they found themselves holding each other tightly as the fierce enigma continued to reek havoc around them, and as they held on to each other, they found something else that day that they hadn't expected... a revelation of their new found love for each other.

             

 

       As quickly as it had started there was now calm in the evening air, and Johnny held close to Emily's side. As the two lay there lost in each others eyes, he whispered.

"My God Emily, they were right."

"Who was right? Emily finally asked with a look of puzzlement on her face.

"The weatherman of course," Johnny said still trying to catch his breath. "Those bastards are never right for Gods sake," he added.

"Well, I guess next time we go cloud gazing we better listen to um huh," Emily laughed as she moved her body in position to his. Without saying another word they both knew what brought them to this time and place. Not God, not demons, nor even the end of the world, but fate alone. Removing their wet clothing they made love as if it were indeed the last day on Earth.

 

      As they gathered their belongings that lay scattered about, Emily peered outside at the sky above as she finished buttoning up her rain soaked blouse.

"Hey Johnny, when we were making pictures of the clouds and right before the onslaught of that terrible storm, did you see that ominous cloud that looked like one of the four Horsemen of the apocalypse?"

 

Johnny smiled and said, "You mean the one right before all hell broke loose?"

        They both laughed as they walked away hand in hand from the barn that held both their secrets and dreams. As they headed home, the sun reappeared from around a newly formed cloud. It was a cloud that was as pure and white as loves first kiss. But even more noticeable than the clouds white softness; was that the cloud itself... had formed in the shape of a heart.

 

 



Copyright 2008 r.e.potter
Keyword: Opening of Eyes
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Comments (18)
Posted by allmine
2008-07-15 08:26:37
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You have a way with words. Whether you are being silly, whimsical, or serious, you capture the reader and bring them into your weird world. This was a sweet story with humor mixed in. And yes, there were some grammer errors...but I'll leave that one alone for the time being!
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Posted by scooby
2008-07-15 08:33:13
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This was really good.

Love forming in the mist of doom...

This is so beautiful!! The last two sentences were just perfect. A great way to end such a bad day. Great job!!
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-07-15 08:56:42
Swine

You swine Potter...........I had to read this twice before I realised that it was a wind up.

I was going there, all the way to Doomsville in one of your usual thrillers, but no.

Oh no.........not for Potter the easy way. Let's get the poor beggars on a rollercoaster.

Excellent ride though.

Cheers

Phil
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Posted by The 13th
2008-07-15 13:59:53
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Have you been smoking the pot again.

You have a way of pulling me int your stories .I gotta admit I did'nt get it but I just thought it was great descriptions and written pretty good.

But listen I've had a hard day of trying to entertain a 3 year old.

Pass that spliff over Potter will ya.

Ahh just read "Big Phil" comment, rollercoaster, good idea Potter.
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Posted by The 13th
2008-07-15 14:14:10
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**slaps hand on head.

Re-read it..Aint young love just grand.

I like the descriptions of the storm and his sure right about the weathermen or weatherpeople.

Bastards.
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Posted by JonStalk
2008-07-15 18:25:38
Nice Read

I agree that you definitely use words well in both physical and emotional descriptions, and the last two sentences were wondefully poetic in the face of horror. I really enjoyed the story, and I'm wondering if we'll ever hear from Johnny or Emily again.
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-15 21:20:21
....

Great misdirection there Potter. You really need to lay off the prescription drugs though lol just kidding.

I was all settled in for a dramatic thriller and instead I got Johnny and Emily 'doing it' in the barn. lol Good job =]
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-07-16 11:40:17
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I'll have to agree with all of the above, great descriptions, wonderful misdirection, and nice touch with the poetic love ending. This almost makes me want to take back all the bad things I never said about you. :)
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Posted by C.R. Vard
2008-07-16 13:10:13
great story

I loved all the alliteration in the second sentence, really captured my attention and the 6th paragraph, you definitly chose the right things to destroy. I also liked Johnny's joke at the end.
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Posted by nillx
2008-07-16 15:54:07
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That was amazing. Honestly, it had me hooked from the very first sentence. Plus, there's never been a better motivation for sex than the end of the world. lol. But seriously, I wish there was more.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-07-16 17:14:11
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I tried to mix horror with love...you would think that would be the norm. Thanks to everyone who took time out to read and comment.
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Posted by brandon_scott
2008-07-16 18:44:59
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This was an incredibly well told story, very detailed and imaginitive. I don't necessarily agree with nillx that the end of the world is a time for nookie, especially among teenagers. lol. But, the story was interesting and it flowed nicely.
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Posted by indianaman130
2008-07-17 00:04:06
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Prime cut right there. Superb flow, almost poetic in its telling.
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Posted by CDeCarlo
2008-07-17 18:32:58
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I liked it, and it kept me reading. I liked how it incorporated fate and how it was meant that they be together. It truly was a story book ending and your story is captivating.
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Posted by alfred
2008-07-17 20:58:52
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Missed this little gem. This was actually good, I bought into the fact that it was the apocolypes-end of the world sort of thing, and a happy ending to boot. Ya know, I once got laid in a barn, she was one baaaaaaaaaaa-d ass peice of gyro
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