The one thing that matters

And makes everything real

Raises my spirits

Makes me able to feel

The one thing that makes all the wait

Seem worthwhile

The only thing in the world

That makes me want to smile

It pushes away all the stresses

Drives away the self hate

Takes away the frustration

And makes me feel safe

Bringing joy bringing laughter

Giving smiles instead of tears

Easing away all my troubles

And all of my fears

All these things I keep secret

Not a word I have told

To the one that I speak of

To the one that I love

Fear of rejection wins once more

Keyword: why chose keywords? make them figure it out once in awhile :)

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Comments (18)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-07-13 18:53:35 .... i thought this was pretty clever. liked how you ended it. the rhyming was good and i liked the message. but i still enjoy your dark poetry more. haha. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-07-13 19:21:50 freedomfighter what message? the message that... huh...nope still dotn get it.. this just made me sad in the tummy :(.. i would have ended it with... fear of rejection HAS NOT won once more... + Report this comment
Posted by brandon_scott 2008-07-13 19:48:01 .... You have absolutely done it! I loved this poem, because it says exactly that which we all feel, and you, Amie, know who "we" are. You've put into words what I ashamedly feel so often. This is a favorite. Keep writing! + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-07-13 20:30:16 .... freedom fighter??? i believe my name is resistanceisfreedom. you seem to have a problem with my name. and i don't think anyone on this site cares about how you would have ended this. this wasn't your piece so i think you should keep your remarks to yourself. + Report this comment
Posted by Semike 2008-07-13 21:27:23 .... I'm not terribly fond of this poem, I'm afraid. It's written well, that much is true. Yet, it just doesn't click with me. I think if you worked on the peom's structure, the amount of syllables in each line, it would sound amazing. Always a pleasure. + Report this comment
Posted by David Relic 2008-07-14 00:25:58 .... I wouldnt ever preume to know anything about poetry...but perhaps Mr "I get my modeling photos taken at Boscovs" above me is on to something. Read it out loud slowly, and if you feel any gaps, then take appropriate action. But as far as I know, your iambic pentameter is solid. Just feel it out. ...Still a great piece... + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-07-14 04:56:55 What??????????? I know it's all down to personal choice, but for goodness sake.........there's nothing wrong with this poem! Read it again, out loud, let the rhythm get hold of you. I LIKE IT, ok? Phil + Report this comment
Posted by allmine 2008-07-14 15:23:56 .... I'll agree that it's not the best poem you have written, but I think that it is good. Just like in life, there is one thing that makes us trully happy and forget everything else. Unfortunately, life normally gets in the way and that thing becomes unattainable. At first I thought you might be talking about your child.... + Report this comment
Posted by June Eclipsis 2008-07-14 18:21:06 ... I thought this poem was cleverly done. I am somewhat skeptical of some poems that have a rather cheezy atmosphere to them. I felt the same way about your poem in the beginning. However, after reading till the end, I was more than satisfied by that final twist. Wonderfully done! + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-07-15 20:58:33 .... Is this poem about alcohol? Because that would be totally sweet if it was! I liked the quick 'shots' of each stanza. But yeah I know its not about booze. I'm just joshen ya! HA! You've been joshed. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-07-15 21:02:44 Oh you're so funny Something Indecent Jason, how did you EVER guess?! lol wow I havent been 'joshed' in like ten years haha + Report this comment
Posted by C.R. Vard 2008-07-15 22:38:49 well written nicely written poem, short sweet and to the point. + Report this comment
Posted by Something Indecent 2008-07-16 12:32:22 .... My dad joshed me once.........it was very traumatic. He jasoned me once too.......I don't wanna talk about that one....... + Report this comment
Posted by mickruston 2008-07-17 14:38:28 THE ONE I really enjoyed this poem - in fact I loved it. Enjoyable, easy reading and the wording was quite ingeneous. I could 'feel' the feelings that went into its writing. I would like to read more of the same. + Report this comment
Posted by CDeCarlo 2008-07-17 15:34:34 .... I love how it deals with a fear almost all of us have...rejection. I also like how the fear wins over her wants. Usually things tell us about triumps over fears, and this was a breath of fresh air. + Report this comment
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