War On Earth 

The drums of life

Beat rapidly,

As the Nymph polishes

Her red velvet knife,

The black hearted army

Of gargoyles

Sharpen their nails

On the outlines of Hell

Rumbling like a lion's roar,

Black clouds of trouble

Float their way,

To this brand new day,

Lightning crashes

To the ground,

This marks the sound

Of War on Earth,

The grass ruptures,

Lava erupts,

And out comes

The Devil's corrupt,

Our winged savior

Swoops around the hordes

Of foul beasts,

Studying their battle behavior,

Searching for a hole,

A flaw,

A way to kill

Every last one of them all,

Quickly she sees

An opening

Of flight,

And thus begins the Fight,

The blade

Slices through

The leader's masquerade,

Nothing evil is allowed to stay,

Wishing stars

Crash from the world above,

Flaming the trees

Like God's cigars,

The arrow of hydrogen

Rips through

The monster's face,

As done by a true ace,

The Nymph is knocked back

From the recoil

Of the

Imploding gargoyle,

Soaring through

The entire forest,

Unable to stop,

Wondering when she will drop,

Speed decreases,

Falling increases,

Wings inoperative,

Laws of flight uncooperative,

A splash in the water,

As a little

Angel lands

In the river,

The current

Carries her along,

To the waterfall

Of endurance,

Of imagination,

That can zap you

To any

Time location.

*********

Eyes open,

Here we are,

Strange thunders

Cracking from afar,

Men in green

Uniforms and hats,

Shocked and appalled,

Wondering what the **** is that,

But not in her

Native tongue,

Что трахание является этим

It more likely rung,

Broken out of this daze of her

Beautifulness,

They open fire on this pure

Piece of mythology,

A shred

In her wing,

Knocked down,

She can't let this swing,

A glow of ominous

Green mist

Conjures in her palm,

Our Nymph is quite pissed,

A flick of the wrist,

The soldiers freeze

In fear

And stone, as their souls tear,

Apart,

Like a sheet

Of paper,

Incomplete.

*********

The Nymph

Walks this

New found Earth

Of mysteries and fallen lymph,

Searching for

Her own kind,

The ones she

Had left behind,

A journey

That never ends,

Everyday begins

Like another questionable morning,

The drums of life

Beat slowly,

As the Nymph polishes

Her red velvet knife,

Off in the distance

It isn't clear,

Is it near?

She holds her breath,

And waits for the Elephant of Death.

Keyword: With Thanks to Pollyanna and the Storms of Africa

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Comments (30)

Posted by Pilgrim 2008-07-13 10:54:54 .... Very good. I liked the imagery. This was a fast paced poem and I was able to race to the end. I feel commas were out of place as some sentences didn't need them. The poem might actually flow faster if some puntuation were left out. All in all, good job. + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-07-13 11:18:01 .... yea, imagery was excellent in this. i actually could picture everything while i was reading it. i found myself a bit lost towards the end of the poem but i really liked what you did here. + Report this comment
Posted by alfred 2008-07-13 11:23:58 .... Dude, maybe poetry isnt your bag. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-13 11:32:04 .... Thank you Pilgrim and Cody for reading. Alfred I would respect your comment more if you made yourself clear on what you didnt like about it ... dude. Another thing, though. Что трахание является этим is Russian for 'what the fuck is that' thanks again! + Report this comment
Posted by brandon_scott 2008-07-13 12:03:41 .... Dude, you know Russian? I thought that this was a pretty good poem, but it was a little difficult to understand what happened. I think it may have read better as a short story. Just my opinion. Don't pay any attention to Alfred- he's just pissed cause he can't write. At least he hasn't posted anything yet. When/if he does finally post something, and if it's good, we'll give ear to what he has to say. Until then he can piss off. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-07-13 12:44:33 .... This one was GREAT! you did an excellent job with your rhyming; it didn't seem forced at ALL. Wonderful imagery, and even the obligatory 'fuck' didn't seem out of place lol. loved how you ended it similarly to the way it started. only one spelling mistake I found 'a splash in the water, as a little, angle (ANGEL) lands in the river' Great job! Its going in my favorites =] + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-13 12:50:48 .... No, Brandon, I do not know Russian. I had to look it up on the internet. And I'm not sure exactly what you dont understand? Maybe if you gave me an example I could clarify myself. Thanks, Lemon, for reading and pointing out the spelling mistake. It is now changed. + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-07-13 13:24:25 .... Thought that you controlled the speed of the verse, and found myself reading it at different speeds as the action intensified. It's very easy to criticise from an 'ivory tower', and I find your poetry easier to read than your prose, but that's probably down to me. This was a good piece of work. Phil + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-13 15:48:05 .... thanks for reading! + Report this comment
Posted by Mokusa 2008-07-13 16:53:17 .... Dramatic gothic war poetry is definitely not an abundant resource, so you score points for that. However, I would have enjoyed it more as a story because the imagery is strong in your imagination and you are writing it as a story poem anyway, so I guess I just wanted more detail from it. And yeah, you don't need all those commas. + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-13 17:06:45 .... Okay, I went back and edited the poem. I'm new to poetry and I thought that every line had to have a comma at the end. Thanks for telling me otherwise, though. It looks better now i think, too. + Report this comment
Posted by alfred 2008-07-13 17:41:21 .... Ok I tell you what I didn't like about this. First i have no stories so I don't have to lie and pretend this is so incredibly fantastic. This made no sense, simple as that. It comes across like a poor mans attempt to sound like the book of revelation or Nostrodamus, and a drunk one at that. What poem can be seriously viewed with lines such as,, (wondering what the fuck is that)...I mean seriously. Only you know just what your talking about, and I wonder about that. You try to make it sound like annihlation' and it comes across like abomination. Nymphs being pissed off, Gargoyles imploding, red velvet knives. What are you talking about dude. And who is this elephant of death...the Republicans? + Report this comment
Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-07-13 18:11:16 .... What am I talking about? I'm talking about a six piece, let's go. + Report this comment
Posted by alfred 2008-07-13 18:17:29 .... Again, I havent a clue...six piece...u mean gun? Dude, make yourself clear to the reader...im tired of guessing. + Report this comment
Posted by Semike 2008-07-13 21:29:11 .... This is an entertaining poem to say the leas. I myself am partial to rhyming poetry, but this one does not fall short in terms of quality. Well done. + Report this comment
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