Posted by Something Indecent
2008-07-12 01:44:09
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Beautiful man. *swipes tear from eye* Simply beautiful.
I do interpret this in two different ways so that's pretty nice. You kept it short which tricked me into reading it like 7 times. It is pretty tight. High five!
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Posted by Hodders
2008-07-12 08:34:55
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I loved it! The last stanza was my favourite I think because it flowed the best. I think if you had to improve it I'd change the second stanza because it doesn't seem to flow quite so well for me. Overall I loved it though, keep em coming!
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-07-12 09:40:54
Very.......................
.............different from your other writin Max.
Are you becoming a sentimentalist?
Liked the flow, the sounds, the rhythm...............nuff said.
Good work man.
Phil
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Posted by Kasi elaborated
2008-07-12 10:25:08
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I enjoyed this in a far different way than I enjoy the rest of you work. Short and extremely sweet (dont criticize me for saying its sweet, cause it kinda was.) Nice job!
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Posted by June Eclipsis
2008-07-12 10:58:30
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I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for this beautiful piece of artwork.
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Posted by brandon_scott
2008-07-12 13:45:30
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Another great poem, man, especially that last stanza. I know all about that feeling. Writing is a great release, isn't it? Keep up the good work, man.
Oh, yeah, by the way- you're not turning soft on us, are you?
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Posted by alfred
2008-07-12 15:00:07
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Obviously it doesn't take much to be a great poet on this site. The only thing I like about this is that it was short.
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-12 15:44:45
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Alfred: short eh? kind of like your.....little puppet? :o|
Max, good job. it was.. dare I say it? it was cute! keep it coming =]
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Posted by The 13th
2008-07-12 15:50:37
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Thats why Max publishes his writings here, to learn and to get better.Just like most of us here. As I always say I know very little about poetry but I enjoyed this. Came over like a rap when I read it aloud. It was good , well I like it.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-07-12 17:38:39
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that stupid doll never has any positive things to say i've noticed. but anyway, of course i enjoyed the hell out of this. thought it rhymed well and the flow was right. i just really loved it because it reminded me why it is i write what i do.
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Posted by Pilgrim
2008-07-13 11:24:50
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Good job. I remember a poem posted a little while ago about someone cutting themselves to release the pain which they felt inside. I feel that the idea is good, but the process by which a person releases what they feel shouldn't go to an extreme. Writing, to me, is a good way to do this without hurting yourself. This is the message I recieved.
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Posted by Mokusa
2008-07-13 17:25:15
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The writer writing about writing concept never gets old for me. This is simple and to the point and has a good ending. I like the rhyme in the first two lines because it's a rare one. Very well done.
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Posted by allmine
2008-07-14 15:58:49
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Wow Max this was great. Beautiful poetic touching...are you feeling ok? Hahaha, just kidding. Seriously this is a great poem, and so different from everything else that you have written. Such talent
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-07-14 16:30:55
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I took 13th's advice and scratched my album with the needle back and forth while i bumped out the sound of a bass with my mouth as i read this. Theres a new gansta rapper up in da storyville house boyee. Jesus, did I just say that. Im so white it hurts.
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Posted by lemon
2008-07-14 16:43:02
Potter:
Aha!..Ahahaha! I read that as I was taking a sip of my drink.. yeah it almost came back out of my nose lol.
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