|
|
|
Above It AllThis story may contain adult content. |
| Written by James A. Young | |
| Friday, 11 July 2008 | |
I'd like to tell you about my friend Bob. Bob has no recollection of being born. In fact, He has hardly any recollection of anything for the first few years of his life. That is to be expected. His brain was insufficiently mature. Bob once told me that when he was a young child, he vaguely remembers there being a cast iron wood stove in his family's living room. It had a glass door. He loved to watch the flames lick the wood and bask in the warmth radiating from it. He was entertained by the smell of burning oak, the spit and whistle of steam as it forced its way out the ends of logs, and even the ultimate crackle of collapsing coals. The extraordinary beauty of this vivid experience made it a lasting memory even though Bob has no idea how old he was at the time. Other experiences were just as memorable. One summer day as Bob was playing in his front yard, a violent thunderstorm suddenly approached. As the lightning and thunder began to crack his mother appeared and beckoned him to come inside. Bob questioned her about the lightening and thunder. She explained that God was stomping around in heaven kicking up a fuss. Bob believed her and began to wave his hands and shout over and over to the clouds, "Hello, god!" Bob told me that as a young child, he spent considerable time before the bathroom mirror. Staring at his reflected image, he would ponder the mystery of his existence. "Who am I? What is my purpose?" he would ask. He studied himself for several minutes, imagining all sorts of possibilities. Was he something special or just one of many inconsequential beasts of the biological world? No answer satisfied his curiosity. The mysteries, unsolved, always encouraged another occasion before the mirror. I have always appreciated Bob's candor. He's learned a lot from his life experiences and I've learned a lot from him. In many ways, Bob's life experiences parallel those of many others, possibly even yours. I look upon Bob's adolescent experiences with the realization they had tremendous impact upon creating the person he is today. What he was taught, along with what he experienced, molded him just as a potter molds clay. Many of his childhood memories are gone but their effect remains. Whether people are willing to admit it or not, some of the most important experiences in their lives as adolescents have much to do with their first sexual experiences. People are extremely reluctant to talk about these experiences with any amount of candor. Some might have been unpleasant experiences that they don't want to think about. Perhaps, there is some sense of shame attached to them. But even when they are pleasant memories, they are generally not the willing topic of conversation, unless you know you can trust the person you're talking to. For example, Bob told me about his first sexual experience. It took place in an old junk car situated in a neighbor's back yard. The old jalopy had obviously been sitting there for years and wasn't ever going to run again. It was a great place for kids to play. One day, when he was about eight years old, he and an older neighborhood boy were playing in that old jalopy. The older boy was pretending to drive and Bob was just along for the ride. Well, at some point the older boy decided to use the privacy of the old car as an opportunity to whack off. Of course, Bob was there to see the whole thing and was clueless as to what was going on. Well, that's when Bob got his first introduction to sex. Being the good buddy that he was, the older boy just reached over, pulled Bob's pants down and whacked him off too. It took only a few seconds before Bob was having his very first orgasm. The experience unleashed an instant affinity for orgasms, one that Bob was unable to resist from that day forward. He whacked off almost every day, sometimes twice if the opportunity presented itself. Obviously, Bob wasn't traumatized by the experience. No. Bob wasn't suffering and he didn't see himself as a victim. It is very difficult for adults to admit that their children have sex lives. Either they suppress the memory of their own life experiences or pretend their children are somehow different. As a child, Bob didn't think much about what his parents might be doing behind closed bedroom doors. In his mind, they were above it all. So were his brothers and sisters. The only world he could be sure of was his world and he wasn't real sure about whether he was like everybody else or somehow different. Of course, I know the answer to that question and so do you. No, the experience with the older boy did not influence him to become a homosexual. Instead, at a very young age, without having to make any conscious choice in the matter, Bob began to notice girls and fantasize about *****. As a teen, the hormones took a heavy toll on Bob. Sex was never far from his mind, even his unconscious mind. He seemed to have a perpetual erection. His dick was hard all day. His dick was hard all night. The only way to get it down was to whack off. It wouldn't be long before it would be hard again. This proved to be somewhat embarrassing, especially around girls. Of course, Bob was always looking for, and very careful not to miss, any opportunity to feed his sexual appetite. He loved to look up a dress or down a blouse. He would scan every bra for the outline of nipples. He'd scan every skirt for the outline of panties. And when the ladies were in their bathing suits, he'd scan every crotch for any hint of pubic hair or the telltale crease that betrayed the outline of *****. Young or old, it didn't matter. Every visual suggestion fed his libido. Naturally, his brain produced graphic images of ******* every female that turned him on, the girl next door or, yes, even several of his voluptuous schoolteachers. And when private opportunity presented itself, to make the imaginary experience real, his throbbing penis was usually being stroked by his well-lubricated hand. Years later, Bob confessed to me that much of his adolescence was riddled with guilt over the whole sex thing. Apparently, the religious brainwashing Bob was receiving as a child wasn't helping his self-esteem. He was successfully led to believe his fleshly obsession with ***** and his daily pursuit of an orgasmic relief was evil. It was years before he was able to assert control of his sexual urges and resist the so-called supernatural devil forcing him to dream, ogle, lust and masturbate. The struggle was demeaning and debilitating. Yes, as a child, Bob had fantasies about sex. One of his first fantasies as a young boy was to have a longer penis. It was so short that he could only wrap a couple of fingers around it. He longed to be able to wrap his whole hand around it and still have a little length to spare. Pulling on it every day didn't seem to work. But as he grew older, he began to delight in the fact that rulers don't lie. It was growing. Eventually, he began to look and feel like a man. No, I'm not going to tell you how long his dick is now! I don't know and I don't care to know. Of course, little boys don't ejaculate. Bob had a lot of growing up to do first. That didn't stop him from wanting to. He could hardly wait for that day to arrive. During that stage in life when black hair was replacing pubic fuzz, it happened. At first it was just a drop or two of slippery stuff. Bob simply made use of it as extra lubricant to pursue a second orgasm more intense than the first. In a matter of a few months, to Bob's delight, semen was gushing forth with each orgasmic spasm. Was that perverse? I guess that depends on who gets to pass judgment. The sexual experiences of Bob's adolescence did not start out as the slightest bit traumatic. He was in his age of innocence. But as he grew older, a steady stream of cultural and religious pressures brainwashed him to believe that what he was thinking, dreaming and doing was somehow dirty and/or evil. Bob became tormented with guilt. As the guilt flourished, Bob's self esteem suffered and he became extremely reluctant, even embarrassed, to admit his sexual interests and/or activities. Bob was forced to be a "in the closet," repressed heterosexual. He is not alone. Haven't we all been pressured to hide our interest in sex from a disapproving world? Nurturing, in children, perverse attitudes toward sex, constitutes a very real form of child abuse that may have lifetime consequences. Bob was only one of its many victims. Fortunately, when he became a man, Bob met a liberated woman who helped him discard many of these psychological chains. She offered Bob a blowjob. In his mind, this was something perverse. He thought she was only offering to do it to please him. He was reluctant. She continued to insist that Bob would like it. She convinced him she really wanted to do it. He finally agreed to give it a try. As Bob watched her, he began to realize she was very much enjoying what she was doing. He was too. She brought all her skills to bear, eagerly anticipating his orgasm. When it came she persisted until he couldn't take it anymore. Then she suggested they trade places. Bob had never done anything like that before either. After what he had just experienced, he could hardly refuse. He owed her. So, he took the plunge. Assuming the normal missionary position, Bob began sucking her nipples until they were both hard and erect. But she hinted that she wanted him to suck on something else and gently applied pressure to the top of his head. Sensing she was ready for something different, he moved down her belly, slowly tracing a path from each nipple to her bellybutton with his tongue. Then his tongue began to lick her inner thighs. To his relief he discovered she had thoroughly prepared herself. Her pussy's scent was fresh and enticing. He didn't understand his need to taste her but he felt compelled to touch his tongue, lightly at first, to her clitoris. Then he began to cautiously lick it. To his surprise, it tasted wonderful. He needed more. His tongue gently began to stoke her vulva. Soon his tongue was probing her vagina in search of ever more flavor. She, of course, enjoyed his enthusiastic licking and responded accordingly, eventually leading to a whopping orgasm. He tried to continue, but she couldn't take any more of it, finally pushing his head away, depriving Bob's tongue continued access to her vaginal delights. To his surprise and delight, Bob had discovered "the joys of licking *****." It pissed him off that cultural taboo had prevented him from discovering it sooner. It began to dawn on Bob that everything he liked about sex was socially unacceptable, taboo, disparaged. Either something was terribly wrong with him or something was terribly wrong with what was being publicly trumpeted. He began to question the religious establishment's vision of sexual morality. It dawned upon him that he had been victimized as a child by those responsible for his religious brainwashing. The more he thought about the guilt trip that had been forced upon his adolescence, the more outraged he became. No single sexual experience was solely responsible for changing Bob's life. However, the rejection of religious dogma and other draconian attitudes toward sex certainly facilitated a liberated libido and a much-improved self-esteem. Under intense pressure from the religious establishment, some cultures adopt laws and social standards that nurture and maintain perverse attitudes toward human sexuality. People lie to one another about what it means to live a healthy and moral life. They refuse to provide comprehensive sex education to their children on the pretense of protecting them from promiscuity and evil. Instead, they teach their children that sex is on par with filth, and that lust springs from unseen supernatural agents of evil. They undermine their children's self esteem, force their sexual interests and activities underground, leaving them vulnerable to sexual predators, disease and teenage pregnancy. Children pay a heavy price their entire lives for these misguided efforts supposedly designed to protect them. Healthy human sexuality suffers at the hand of religious tyranny and hypocrisy. People hide the truth from each other and from themselves. They have difficulty talking about sex with open honesty. Instead, they find it politically expedient to trumpet the standards of moral hypocrites and pretend to be what they know they cannot be and are not. They lie to please the world. Was Bob's adolescent experiences perverse? Were they evil? Or is Bob merely typical of the human condition? And what about the suffering Bob experienced as a result of the guilt forced upon him by the adherents of moral and religious hypocrisy? Does that suffering count for anything? I know there can be different reactions to Bob's story. Some may label it "pure filth." They will condemn and disparage every word of it, claiming it advocates an "anything goes" morality. Of course, it does not. It does advocate a different social approach to adolescent sex education that incorporates the realities of human sexuality. Science, ethics, empathy and human experience should be society's moral guides, not divine mandates and sociocentric ignorance. People need to see themselves in the mirror of sexual reality. Some will find it refreshing to face the unspeakable truth, knowing they are not alone in their experiences and observations. But, fearing the tyranny of the so-called moral community, most will remain silent. I can't blame them. If you were to ask Bob about his adolescence, he would probably not confirm any part of the story I have told you. Instead, he'll insist I must have been referring to someone else named Bob. After all, there are many "Bobs." And of course, unless you are extremely brave, you will deny that what Bob, thought, felt and experienced might accurately resemble you. You see, unlike the exposed hypocrisy of Jimmy Swaggert, Ted Haggard, Jim Baker and many others, most folks will pretend they're, "above it all." Copyright 2008 James A. Young |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
via Email