The Peacock Case

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

My Present

I wrote this poem and had RE Potter look it over. ...

Shallow Vagueness


User Rating: / 9
PoorBest 
Written by Anna DeVine   
Monday, 07 July 2008
Image
 

Shallow Vagueness 





My spirit verse denies a breath
Of life sustaining air
But still my shallow heart can beat
To rot in life's despair

My eyes feel spun of blackened silk
When colors sidle in
As emerald waves turn jaded tides
On vagueness guarding sin

While drowning in a silent lake
To read between the shores
Of happiness and emptiness
My fate abstracted yours 

Which fell between divided minds
Of passion's frozen dew
And blurred the tears of lost regret
Distorting love I knew 







Copyright 2008 Anna DeVine
Keyword: Granulated Fate
No Comments posted
Comments (9)
Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-07-08 01:36:11
....

This one was very easy to visualize.

I thought the name of poem was pretty cool sounding.

And, as every other poems I read of yours it was bloody terrific.

Kudos once again.
+ Report this comment

Posted by indianaman130
2008-07-08 01:40:45
....

you seem to hide and hint about and around a love long lost. Was it free will or fate that caused minds to divide? excellently written and thought out
+ Report this comment
Posted by Kasi elaborated
2008-07-08 11:17:54
....

Once again you have created a beautiful poem, I enjoy the emphasis on emotions all your poems have, and they all contain great poetic structure. Another job well done!
+ Report this comment
Posted by MeredithsMontage
2008-07-08 14:11:44
....

Beautiful poem. I really enjoyed. Thanks for hitting a soft spot.
+ Report this comment
Posted by brandon_scott
2008-07-08 15:57:55
....

I hve a very vague notion of what you were trying to say in that poem, but I loved it. It flowed so smoothly, rhymed so well, and sounded so good that I don't even have to understand its obviously profound meaning to truely appreciate it. Beautiful.
+ Report this comment
Posted by r.e.potter
2008-07-08 20:28:24
....

You have a special talent. I can't say anything else.
+ Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin
2008-07-08 20:48:31
....

I love how abstract your messages are! Thats something I have never been able to achieve.
+ Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952
2008-07-09 03:43:45
....

Potter, you stole my line........now all I have is a lump in the throat.

Good poem.

Phil
+ Report this comment

Posted by Amatayo
2008-07-10 01:11:25
....

This was nice and very vivid. "Wait someone said that already" Well they stole what I was going to say. But this was nice.

Yeah
+ Report this comment

 
< Prev   Next >

Remove Ads