It burns, to touch the hole in my heart. I wake up feeling its pain.

If this fire doesn’t go away soon, I’m afraid it might drive me insane.

 I opened my heart and you tore it apart, leaving this hole in the center.

And now I know when you said you loved me, truly by me, you meant her.

I can barely breathe with a hole in my heart; I feel my life fading away.

Crying and bleeding, you left me repeating, that I hoped and wished you would stay.

How pathetic and tragic and desperate am I, to have a hole in my heart?

I let myself go, I never said no, and loved all of you from the start.

All I have to show for that love are the hideous scars you left behind.

No feelings returned my heart is left burned; my mindset of love is defined.

Keyword: the whole

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Comments (10)

Posted by Amatayo 2008-07-05 22:40:22 .... The poem was okay. And don't worry about it not rhyming because the definition of poem is. something suggesting a poem (as in expressiveness, lyricism, or formal grace) And this was an expression of your hurt. + Report this comment
Posted by A.T.O.M. 2008-07-05 23:10:47 Wow i really felt this poem my favorite line And now I know when you said you loved me, truly by me, you meant her. thats were i made the connection good job + Report this comment
Posted by indianaman130 2008-07-06 00:10:42 .... I caught the in-line rhymes, nice if they go every other line or sum such pattern, otherwise the poems flow is off. Edgar Allen Poe i think is one of the best at whole sentences rhyming and flowing with a paragraph or whole poem. Good poem, little more thought and writing and it can be a great poem. In my opinion + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-07-06 00:23:16 .... it was nice, but I think it needs to be cleaned up some. rhyming isn't a requirement in poetry, but if you start it rhyming, you might have to play with different words/phrases to keep the rhythm going. keep trying =] + Report this comment
Posted by June Eclipsis 2008-07-06 14:02:31 ... I liked it. It was pretty nice. However, I agree with Amatayo that your poem needn't rhymn, as your rythmn is pretty nice by itself. + Report this comment
Posted by brandon_scott 2008-07-06 14:30:38 .... I didn't have any problem with your rhyming; I thought it was perfect (yes, critics, "center" and "meant her" rhyme). I thought it was a well written poem about heartbreak. Good job! + Report this comment
Posted by Kasi elaborated 2008-07-06 16:37:11 .... I appriciated this poem, It I liked your rhyming patter as well. You displayed your deep affection and stayed very close to the subject. It alomst remined me of lyrics to a song. + Report this comment
Posted by bubbly 2008-07-07 20:36:15 emotional hi! michelle. this poem is so intense and emotional that one is completely in sync with it. u misplaced too much trust in a rascal and were disappointed. but there r many fish out there in sea. take ur pick and live life queen size. v live our life only once and once is the way to live. cheerio. lol. ;-) + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-07-08 22:14:52 .... i thought this was a great poem! and i had absolutely no problem with the rhythm or rhyming in this. my favorite part is the last part where you say, "My mindset of love is defined" i thought this was well said because if you go through something like this you base that on love all together. + Report this comment
Posted by chaabuk 2008-07-23 19:39:23 .... That's simply superb although tragic from personal point of view. Love can be selfish or selfless. Here both are present. Its a good thing he left otherwise, life can be miserable with a two-timing cheat. + Report this comment

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