Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-07-02 22:40:26
....
I am an insomiac and I can relate to poem kind of. You do hallucinate quite a bit and hear noises, but i never thought of checking my pillow for the source, that bastard.
This, in my opinion, is one of your best ones (but the Innocent is my favorite). it was very dark and kind of reminded me of the song enter sandman by metalica.
You know when i read your poems i get pissed because you are so good and i suck at them. You have a true knack for delivering a great story in poem form.
Keep up the great work, Anna
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by lemon
2008-07-02 22:59:16
....
This was really good! I'm an insomniac so yeah I can relate. Your mind kind of plays tricks on you as the night wears on and you know you're the only one awake. The pillow thing kind of freaked me out though. Good job!
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by philneale1952
2008-07-03 02:35:16
Argghhhhhhhhhh !
Well I was a sound sleeper until I read this. That's it.....all the lights are staying on now and the baseball bat will be cocked and ready.
Good one, and typical of all the stories that misguided parents told their children. 'If you dont Go To Sleep/ Behave/ Speak Nicely the Boogey Man will get you........'
Thanks a bunch, I'd just forgotten all of that.....
Good poem.
Phil
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by Sad Sara
2008-07-03 03:46:58
Sound asleep...
No Phil, yer wrong...
That sound yer heard wasn't sleep, that was a slipping echo of yer childhood hell bent but never shaped coming to whisper you away from the forgotten.
Anyway,
Cheers!
And thanks fer readin' me Poem.
'Anna
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by philneale1952
2008-07-03 06:51:05
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek !!
In a nice, air conditioned office, a chill just ran down my spine, like someone walking across my grave.
Was it you Sara? Or one of your demonic minions come to scout out the land for a pre-emptive stike at some point in the depths of the dark, evil night?
On the other hand, it could have been one of Johnny Bailes' spiders...........
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek !!!!!
Phil (I think)
+ Report this comment | |
Posted by Something Indecent
2008-07-03 07:58:12
....
This poem totally makes me want to have nightmares again! I love it when I'm in my house alone and I think that there's someone around the corner waiting to jump me! Well, unless there is. That's not as fun as imagining it. Anyway nice poem that had nothing to do with what I just wrote.
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by allmine
2008-07-03 08:28:04
....
This is chilling and creepy and I love it. There are times when insomnia hits me, and I think I am going to have it tonight after reading this! Great use of flow and rhyme to creep the hell out of us
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by soulwriter
2008-07-03 18:44:10
....
Another insomniac commenting... yeah, this is pretty good, describes well the feelings you get after a while at night.
One problem would be that I don't think the word "cozy" fits the tone of the poem, it's slightly informal whereas the rest of the poem is written in a very formal tone.
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by Sad Sara
2008-07-03 19:04:26
....
I not insomniac, I barely able stay wake, this Poem fer me kids so they shut up and go sleep and let me sleep. Hehe
Work like charm everytime.
We're none too formal though.
Thanks yer all fer say comment on me Poem.
'Anna
+ Report this comment | |
Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-07-03 21:25:39
....
haha well everybody has said what i was thinking. but i have to say the last line, "Sweet Screams" that was brilliant. really great way to end this piece.
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by A.T.O.M.
2008-07-05 12:55:34
i agree
yes it sounds like the beginning of a scary movie the woman with the creepy voice but alot better it gets you prepared for the creepiness thats gonna come next
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by Pilgrim
2008-07-05 13:32:50
....
This was very good. It gave me a new concept of "pillow talk."
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by brandon_scott
2008-07-05 21:17:38
....
Definitely a good poem. Especially the "Sweet Screams" part. Sounds like the tagline for a cheesy horror flick, but it works well in this story. All I can say is Hell Yeah! No pun intended, of course...
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by Dirkin
2008-07-09 19:58:37
....
The title of this poem lied to me, because I havent been able to sleep since I read it! I liked the creepy feel this had, reminds me of the rhyme from the nightmare on elm street movies.
+ Report this comment |  |
Posted by CliffMitchell
2008-07-09 20:57:45
....
I feel like a child again! Mothered love in knowing what's best... and scared unsleepless, never to linger awake past my bedtime again! Well done and may your children sleep in peace, haha.
+ Report this comment |  |
| << Start < Previous 1 2 Next > End >> |
via Email