I tried to decipher the hieroglyphics etched on the toilet seat in

that disgusting gas station, I wondered about the state of mind

one has to be in to be compelled to etch one's name in a place

where people go about their business when nature calls. I mean

people will be placing their asses there on a regular basis or they

piss all over the place as I'm about to do now. "what the **** is

that?" my train of thought is viciously derailed as my attention is

diverted to the area above the base of my penis where I see what

appears to be some sort of pimple or wart. A small meaty growth

nestled among the curly hairs makes my skin crawl and my head

swim with horrible theories as to its origin. My first attempts to

piss are in vain as I'm unable to concentrate on anything beyond

that deformity. "It's probably nothing" I say out loud in a thinly

disguised attempt to fool myself, but deep down I know that my

comment is a pathetic attempt to rationalize. I attempt to push

the urine out of my bladder but nothing, I just can't stop looking at

it, this, whatever it is. I force myself to piss and attempt to put

that horrible addition to my pubic landscape out of my mind. I still

have seven pickups to do and I only have four hours left to get

them done, I really don't have time to obsess; but still, maybe I

should see a doctor.

     My job as a courier is the most insipid activity of my day, but

being a dirt poor college student on financial aid doesn't leave one

with many options. I use to live more comfortably when I was still

with Jan, well comfortably in the sense that our apartment was

furnished and there was usually food in the refrigerator. Her

parents were generous and they would help with expenses when

she was still with me, but now things have become progressively

worse since our relationship exploded in a **** storm. I feel my

phone vibrate on my crotch where I keep it while I drive. Normally

 this would provide me with some welcome stimulation but today it

feels like some sort of cacophonous alarm warning everybody of the

disgusting thing that seems to be growing in my crotch. Annoyed, I

pick up the phone to see that I received a text from her, Jan. It's

been two months since we broke up yet she still finds it necessary

to communicate. "Heard you moved, don't throw my stuff away." I

call and thankfully get her voicemail. I inform her that I will send

her box of stuff with her cousin as soon as I can.

For a long time I thought Jan was the one, we were together for

the better part of six years, my family hated her yet for some

reason it took me that long to realize why; she is a ******* *****.

They put up with her for my sake, and now I regret putting them

through the hellhole that was my tenure with Jan. She was

 possessive and jealous, and she forced me to distance myself

from them. I was masochistic in thinking I could change her. My

phone vibrates again and I feel adrenaline pump into my stomach

when I see the caller ID and realize that it's her.

"Yeah?"

"listen, I hope you didn't ******* throw any of my **** away, just leave it in the box and give it to Joel as we agreed,"

"There was no reason to call Jan, we had already went over this."

"I'm just trying to make sure that I get all my **** back"

"Look just don't call me, don't text me, I'll send your things just leave me alone"

"Oh yeah like I want to call, I've moved on to bigger and better thi..."

I hang up my phone and grip the wheel in anger, no one can ever

get under my skin the way she does.  In retrospect I should have

seen this coming, she was controlling and manipulative and I

allowed her to do whatever she wanted to for too long. But now I'm

finally rid of her and her bullshit and I can move on with my life.

That night I stand in front of the mirror and stare at the growth

again. I dab alcohol on it with a cotton swab and pray to god it'll

be gone in the morning as I curl into bed and attempt to sleep. I

should probably go see a doctor.

She lies nude and seductively beckons me to her, I feel compelled

to answer her call and caress the small of her back as I lick her

neck then kiss her while she lies back onto the bed. I run my

fingers through her soft brown hair and caress the perfect skin on

her face as I position myself on top of her; I stare into her pretty

hazel eyes and get lost in their beauty. I push my knee upwards

spreading her legs apart while running my right hand down her

thigh and stop at the pit of her knee and squeeze slightly. I thrust

forward penetrating her and I feel sharp pain as she digs her nails

into my back while she moans with pleasure. I continue thrusting

rhythmically to the beat of my heart as her smile turns into a grin,

a grin that continues to widen until her teeth are bared , jagged

and yellowish they open and her tongue lashes forward into my

throat choking the breath out of my body. I attempt to push myself

off and as I do, her nails drag through my back tearing chunks of

flesh and muscle. Her horribly contoured face, a desecration on the

beauty I had just witnessed beforehand, bites into my jugular

tearing a chunk of my neck. I step backwards and as I do, I squirt a

steady pulse of blood in all directions. I press my hand to my neck

in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding. I look down to see that

her jagged yellow teeth lined other orifices in her body as all that

remains of my penis is a bloody stump. I look up to see her

horrible gaping mouth spread over my face.

 I throw the blanket off me to verify that my experienced had

indeed just been a terrifying nightmare. I walk towards the mirror

and inspect my neck for any traces of teeth marks... nothing, my

back is also intact but I feel that I am too afraid to look down at

my penis... but I do anyways. The wart seems to have grown. I

take several penicillin pills and pray to Jesus, Allah, and *******

Vishnu that they work. Maybe I should see a doctor.

The next morning I have class. I practically showered with my eyes

closed and avoided any rooms that had any mirrors as I dressed.

The professor rambles on about Al Qaeda, terrorism and political

violence. What the **** does anyone in this room know about

terror?! I know ******* terror; It's growing in my goddamn pants. I

can't concentrate; my thoughts keep digressing to my crotch. Dr.

Milo's words slur in my head, I lose focus and my inability to form a

single cohesive thought feeds my paranoia. Everyone knows,

everyone is looking at me out of the corners of their eyes, they are

all judging me. Dr. Milo is not saying Syria and North Korea, he's

throwing me accusing looks while really mouthing syphilis and

gonorrhea. I can't concentrate; I grab my bag and discretely walk

out of the lecture hall. I stand outside of the student health clinic

but I can clearly see that the line is long. Either way I would have

to explain things to a nurse several times if I wish to even have a

chance to speak to a doctor. What would I tell her? "Gee miss, I

have something growing on my **** that is giving me nightmares

involving rotting genitalia, succubi and vagina dentata?"I bet they

see that all the time. I reach for my phone:

"Ray, quick question"

"The **** you want Andrew?"

"Have you ever known anyone with like, uh... a venereal disease?"

"You mean other than you? Hmm I think Alex had Chlamydia he

said it burned a little when he peed"

"Do you know what he did to get it taken care of?"

"What the **** am I? The VD police?  Why is there something

growing on your co..."

I find myself hanging up on people more often that I usually do,

but if you had something growing on your ****, you wouldn't want

to spend much time talking on the phone either. I feel my phone

vibrate again and I get annoyed considering the thoughts floating

around in my head, but I answe answer:

"what, douche-bag?"

To my dismay Jan answers in her usual, high-pitched banshee

voice:

"Don't ******* talk to me like that!; I'm just calling to tell your

stupid ass not to forget to put all of my pictures in my box when

you give it to Joel"

"No, you are just calling to **** with me"

"PLEASE, like I care about you, without me you are nothing, you are

pathetic and you will stay pathetic."

This time she denied me the pleasure of hanging up on her. My

work route seemed to lag forever, my pants made my crotch burn

and itch and my mind was muddled with dreadful thoughts. Who

could it have been? What do I have? Dana? No she was a virgin,

Allison? I seriously doubt it she was a clean girl.

She lies on top of me; obese and jaundiced... her yellow skin

smothers me as she heaves back and forth on top of me. Her air

drenches my nostrils with a heavy musk that chokes the life out of

me. Her long scalpel fingernails dig into my chest as she vomits an

acrid smelling viscous liquid onto my face. I feel my flesh sear off

my skull and the agony forces me to awake.

Curled into corner of my dark room I stare at the bulging spot

growing in my genitals. Its proliferation came with open sores that

spout viscous mucus. It's spreading and there is nothing I can do

to stop it. Several more bumps surround the original manifestation

like small monks praying at an unspeakable altar. They bathe in

the horrible fluid that is released and grow. Through the faint light

of my phone I stare at it for hours. It's controlling me, it is ruining

my ******* life and I can't seem to escape it.

Days come and go but I can't leave my room, movement is making

it grow, sunlight is allowing its spread.

She grabs my head and shoves it into her *****. The yellow jagged

teeth grind round and round tearing my eyes and chewing on my

lips as she moans with pleasure. She grinds me deeper into her as

the cracking of bones turns into the vibration of a phone. I weakly

reach and press the on button:

"Yes..."

It's her...

"Andrew where the fucks are my things! Joel said he's tried going

to your house twice but you aren't ******* there! Give me my ****

you stupid ******* or my cousins are gonna **** you up!"

"I'll take your things right now."

She answers the door wearing a blue puma sweater top and gray

track shorts. Her hair seems wet and it is tied in a pony tail. She

has a beautiful face that is marred by a constant air of animosity.

She's ruthless and decisive and I use to love that about her. "You

look like ****," I nod and hand her the box which she places at the

side of the door. "What the **** else do you want?" I stand there

dumbfounded for a few second. "Have you seen a doctor by any

chance recently," I manage to mumble. "I don't see how it's any of

your business, but no," she could scarcely hold her contempt as she

stood there. I imagined that it was my withdrawn demeanor that

allowed her to barely manage to keep the tears of rage at bay.

"Well I have something growing on my dick and I think you *******

gave it to me, that's why I ask" she was almost as surprised by my

sudden outburst as I was. No audible apology was uttered as her

fight-flight instinct took over as and she kneed me directly on the

balls. Practically out of sheer terror I backhanded her in the face

and she fell backwards throwing the door open. I landed on top of

her but I was no longer in control, I could feel the cracking of her

skull as I slammed her head against the floor repeatedly but I

could not stop myself. My mind was flooded, vicious thoughts ran

rampant, howling with indignant accusations. "You ****** someone

else, you aborted his baby; you ****** someone who was not me."

I could not bring myself to say these things out loud, but I knew

they were true. I knew to the core of my bones. The blood

splattered the walls and some landed on my face, yet even in my

moment of triumph I was not the one in control. The vacant stare

of her beautiful hazel eyes brought me back to earth. The dull

thumping had seemed distant like music playing out of a boom-box

in a solitary beach at midnight, or the muffled ******* of a couple

in an adjacent hotel room. I whispered into her ears, "you infected

my life, you infected my body." I had to know, I dragged her

lifeless body into the living room and pulled off her shorts and

ripped her panties away. I lifted her leg and analyzed every inch of

her. I could not find what I was seeking, all that was there was

beautiful, hairless, milky skin devoid of any imperfections. no

flaws, no viscous mucus emanating from anywhere, no green sores

or telltale growths to announce her guilt. There was nothing there,

nothing but a beautiful pink ****. Her teeth would never have me

again; I rushed out of her apartment and ran to my car.

The student clinic was still open; I ran inside and went directly to

the doctor's office. He could obviously tell that my situation was

urgent and was kind enough to close the door. "It's taking over me

doctor, its infecting me." He listened to me calmly and put on a

plastic glove. "Ok son, relax, show me what you are talking about

and we'll see what we can do to help." With shaky hands I

unbuckled my belt and shut my eyes as I slowly pulled down my

pants and my boxers. "It's been growing for days doctor, you have

to help me." The doctor was quiet for a few seconds, "you mean

this growth here?" the doctor examined as I opened my eyes, "I'm

pretty positive it's a wart, I have a cream I can prescribe to make it

go away in a matter of days." I attempted to hold my revulsion as I

looked down to see a barely discernable growth inches below belly-

button. I was forced to silence through sheer horror, the doctor

seemed almost nonchalant as he spoke, "yeah, things like that can

really mess with you, embarrass you, but you have nothing to worry

about."