Once again I have been left in shards.

Out of place I am the "discard".

An old dog that gave its last woof.

On the edge of death, give it a push.

A bum on the corner ready to die.

Spat upon, a disease in everyone's eyes.

An unlikely hero forgotten in the past.

Now gets laughed at, while other's speed passed.

A mighty man now old an weak.

Tired of breathing but his souls not in peace.

A business man only loving his wife.

While she is at home ruining his life.

Afloat in this world.

Where am I going.

If I hold my breath.

Will I stop knowing

Will the world keep going.

My debts ever growing.

My friends never knowing.

But I am the wind, in your ears keeps blowing.

For I gave my body so I'll never feel lonely.

Keyword: Thoughts of an Lunatic.

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Comments (13)

Posted by Zombie Punk 2008-06-30 22:59:19 .... Hmmm...I really wasnt fond of your rhyming in this one. Good idea and some pretty happy thoughts. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-06-30 23:01:31 .... Spelling of past, "passed". The last two lines seemed a little obscure, but all in all, pretty good. + Report this comment
Posted by Amatayo 2008-06-30 23:07:58 .... If you read this poem and don't understand it then your not alone. For I don't even get what this is about. But so people won't believe I have gone completely out of my mind. I will give you some of the story. Last night I woke up and just scribbled this poem down. And then went back to sleep and when I woke up today I was like "whaaaaat." So I thought there must be a reason why I wrote it thus you have this really strange, unlike anything, double talked, out but in this world poem-ish. ( side note ) And if there is anyone who has seen sad sara and dikrin's poem. Where they wrote it together. I would not turn down an offer to write with some one just to see how it would come out. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-06-30 23:21:43 .... Maybe try, "Tired of breathing, his soul has sprung a leak." And maybe get rid of the last line. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-30 23:27:00 .... it kind of seems like a poem just about a life thats stressful? I didn't think it was bad at all, just weird lol =] + Report this comment
Posted by Amatayo 2008-06-30 23:35:22 .... What do you mean pilgrim " his soul has sprung a leak" That makes less sense then the orginal. And since it is not really my poem but night amatayo's I can't change it. ( While typing this I almost but my real name. HA ha ah ah ha ha ) Milk is nasty. Almonds are gross. X-rays give cancer. Pilgrims came on boats. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-06-30 23:37:45 .... A leak in the soul would portay a leak in identity, also any object that is old is subject to wear and tear. Possibly also, it rhymes better than what you have. + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-06-30 23:49:24 .... One more thing, being a pilgrim, and having came on a boat, would I not be an expert on leaks? + Report this comment
Posted by Amatayo 2008-07-01 02:55:57 .... Well I guess him being old and saying he has sprung a leak would really bring out the fact that he is old. But by the same token saying that his soul is not at peace brings into mind how he is old. And has nothing to do but think about his past life and the mistakes he made. And who knows whats the deal with bubbly she keeps leaving poems as comments. + Report this comment
Posted by slavetolove 2008-07-01 20:07:55 Well then i have a question...why would you have a picture of a plane and a name pilgrim....which is probably why he said pilgrims came on boats. + Report this comment
Posted by June Eclipsis 2008-07-02 06:08:36 ... I liked it. I love poems with a strange twist to them. + Report this comment
Posted by A.T.O.M. 2008-07-05 17:41:41 What I Think is that that it was a good poem but you kinda lost the way in rhyming when you said Spat upon, a disease in everyone's eyes. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-07-05 18:23:00 amadadio so this poem was not about god.. i mean jesus... the end kind of hints at that...maybe jesus visited you in your sleep and told you to write this poem. or maybe you have already colabed with someone.. jesus! + Report this comment

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