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THE SECRET WIND, Chapter 1


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Written by jake   
Monday, 30 June 2008
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THE SECRETE WIND

 

 

                                                                         PRELUDE

BEFORE TIME BEGAN, THERE WAS A VOID. THE VOID WAS FULL OF EMPTYNESS, AND DARKNESS. INTO THE VOID CAME THE CREATOR. HE FILLED THE VOID WITH STARS, AND PLANETS, COLOR AND SOUND. THEN, HE CREATED THIRTEEN PLANETS, EACH EXISTING ALONGSIDE THE OTHER, INVISIBLE TO EACH OTHER, ACCESIBLE TO EACH OTHER ONLY BY MAGIC. THEN THE CREATOR MADE THE GREAT SPIRITS, THE GODS. SO THE GOD'S SET OUT TO CREATE AND FILL THE PLANETS WITH LIFE, MAGIC, AND BEING. EACH WORLD WAS MADE DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER, AND FILLED WITH NUMEROUS CREATURES. ONE GOD, YAHWEH, SET OUT ALONE, TO FILL HIS PLANET WITH AN ABUDANCE OF DIVERSITY. HE WAS THE ENVY OF ALL THE GOD'S, FOR THEY COVETED THE HUMAN RACE HE CREATED. SO THE GOD'S RIVALED HIM.  HE WAS PEACEFUL, AND CALMED THEM. YET, IN SPACE AND TIME EXISTED EVIL, A SHADOW LEFT FROM THE VOID THAT WAS OVERLOOKED. IT TOOK NO MATERIAL FORM AND IT SEEKED TO PLANT THE SEEDS OF HATE. SO IT MANIPULATED THE GOD'S, TURNED BROTHER AGAINST BROTHER. THE OTHER INNUMERABLE RACES THE OTHER GOD'S HAD CREATED, ALSO BEGAN TO FIGHT. THEY GREW TO HATE HUMAN'S, BECAUSE THE HUMANS AND OTHER CREATURES AND BEINGS WERE ALLOWED TO PASS FREELY BETWEEN WORLDS. THE OTHER RACES EITHER TOOK THE HUMAN'S SIDE, OR WERE AGAINST THEM. EVIL WAS BORN. FOR CENTURIES THE MORTAL CREATURES FAUGHT, AS DID THE GOD'S. UNNOTICED, THE SHADOW BEGAN TO CORRUPT THE CREATURES, AND MAKE EVIL BEINGS OF HIS OWN. YAHWEH GREW SAD, AND BEGGED GUIDANCE FROM THE CREATOR. THE CREATOR ENDED THE WAR, SOME HUMANS STAYED IN OTHER WORLDS, AND LIVED WITH THE PEACEFUL RACES, BUT MOST RETREATED TO EARTH, AND SO THE CREATOR CLOSED THE PORTALS, AND THE HUMANS COULD NO LONGER PASS THROUGH OTHER WORLDS. THE GOD'S CEASED FIGHTING, AND THE OTHER RACES TURNED THEIR WARRINGS TO NEW BEINGS, THE CREATIONS OF THE SHADOW, THE DARK ONE. THE DARK ONE CREATED MINIONS, GENERALS AND LEUTINANATS. THE WORLDS NOW FACED A TRUE ENEMY. AND SO THE HUMANS ON EARTH, EVENTUALY FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE OTHER WORLDS, AND SCOFFED AT THE EXISTANCE OF MAGIC. SOME, THOUGH, CLERICS TO YAHWEH, RETAINED THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE OTHER WORLDS AND MAGIC, BUT THY NUMBERED FEW. HOWEVER, THE CREATOR HIMSELF PROMISED THEM THAT A HUMAN WOULD BE BORN WHO WOULD UNITE THE WORLDS TO FIGHT AGAINST THE ULTIMATE EVIL, AND SO THE CLERICS WAITED, AND WATCHED

Copyright 2008 jake
Keyword: THE SECRET WIND
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Comments (8)
Posted by Pilgrim
2008-06-30 13:12:23
....

I'm bored. Not only is this written as if it is the intro to a Star Wars movie, it seems to reflect the Old Testament. After, "In the Beginning. . ." many people give up trying to read the Bible.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-06-30 13:55:40
agree

Agree with the Pilgrim,,,this was a turkey...hey, I just made a funny
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-06-30 15:26:15
....

Jeeez, it Is like Genesis isn't it (and no, there's no Phil Collins involved).

Hell, if Potter can do the funnies what hope is there for the rst of us (Just kidding).

Seriously, I can just hear James Mason doing the narrative (ugh).

Phil
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Posted by flossy
2008-06-30 15:35:15
....

Oka, it was'nt great but it was'nt that bad.Just stop with the caps.Its silly.Put it in paragraphs.How long did this take for you do to.If it took a few hours then there is youre problem.Write it , leave it a day then see what you can do.If you have a friend or a teacher then ask to see what they think.There is plenty of writers on here that are pretty good .Look at their wook.See what they do.I think I'm right, your only 14.So I dont want to put you down too much.Keep at it.Just note the comments and change.goodluck.
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Posted by skyshark
2008-07-07 10:36:04
both good and bad

Lets see it wasn't that bad but the

caps haft to stop. it was a start of something but it didn't feel finished there just wasn't enough meat to the story it was like a bunch of stories thrown into one. get better and keep writing.
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Posted by Xena
2008-07-08 02:04:59
JESUS

... so this is how the universe was actually created. it all makes sense now. thank you jake. ;).. lol but what if this is really how it happend and jake was really like the reserection of jesus christ.. you dont think so? prove me wrong... thats what i thought
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Posted by Xena
2008-07-08 02:20:45
and ps

if youre doing a prelude like this you can damn well use all caps.. especially if its a story about god and the whole unvierse... keep the caps.. i could just hear the big black burly guy in my ear reading this to me.
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Posted by colemoriss
2008-07-08 22:46:42
....

this was used to explain why some humans believe in magic, but why there is no proof of it. it also explains why christianity would lie.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 30 June 2008 )
 
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