There Is No Me Without You

You're all I think about, Watching you...

If The Sun Didn't Rise

IF THE SUN DIDN'T RISE BY JON STALK...

The Innocent


This story may contain adult content.
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Written by Anna DeVine   
Sunday, 29 June 2008
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The Innocent 







When she hadn't made it home as darkness came around
Many gathered for the search, but Nina wasn't found
A week had passed, and when they got to see their child again Barely did they recognize the face now pale and thin

Nina couldn't tell them she was pulled inside a car
By a man who burned her many times with a cigar
When her father learned that he had stolen what was pure
Nina heard him swear that he would kill this man for sure

Weeks had passed without a word or hint of Nina's smile
Doctors said she'd speak again but it could take a while
Seemingly content to sit and suck her little thumb
Hiding in her closet where her nothingness felt numb

What had happened to their child they really didn't know
Only hoping that someday her mind could let it go
It took a while, but on that day she found her voice again
Nina's father truly thought her screams would never end

They were driving to the store when all of this took place
Even now he cannot drink the pain from Nina's face
'Daddy look, there he is, there's that hurtful man!'
Never once did consequence arise within his plan

'That bastard's going to finally pay for all the hurt he's done'
Were the words he said to her while reaching for his gun
When he finally pulled his car into the Monster's drive
Nina knew her father would not leave this man alive

In the car he told her that she'd finally be okay
But quickly knew that wasn't true because he heard her say,
'Daddy look, there he is, now he's over here!'
And Nina said this every time she saw a man appear








Copyright 2008 Anna DeVine
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Comments (16)
Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-06-29 11:40:16
Truly a Classic

I read this before and the second time around is so much better. This is such a sad tale with an amazing, shocking ending. The picture was perfect for this Poem. Really outstanding work, Anna.

Cheers
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Posted by Amatayo
2008-06-29 11:40:47
....

Sick, great, amazing, thrilling, are only a few words I thought while reading this. Although the writing did not flow completely I still liked this. And half way through I felt like skipping to the end to find out the mans identity. For a poem this was written well.
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Posted by Sad Sara
2008-06-29 11:42:16
Poetry Pusher...

Thanks Max, I glad yer talk me into revising instead of scrapping, it getting there, I almost content with it.

Cheers!

'Anna
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Posted by flossy
2008-06-29 11:43:23
....

Jesus.That just stopped me in my tracks.That was brilliant.It's such a pleasure to read your works.One of the best yet.Well done.
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-06-29 11:48:07
Excellent

Now, OK, I know I'm old but 55 isn't THAT bad.........well anyway, what I was coming to was.......

Many years ago (OK, at least 40) there was a series of half hour dramas on british TV and a similar plot arose surrounding the rape of a young woman. The guy she identified ended up being castrated by her boyfriend, but the story ended up the same way.

The point I'm making is that you are too young to have heard of the plot, so it's hats off for a wonderful piece of poetry in classic form dealing with a heart-rending subject.

Gets my vote.

Phil
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Posted by Sad Sara
2008-06-29 11:59:56
Flowbee...Cuts and sucks...Amazing

I juss was watching an AD fer one of them haircutting contraptions.

Weird huh?

Aye, my flow constantly falters in every Poem, I juss cannot seem to get into the natural rhythm of rhyme.

And yeah, this one is rather long for a Poem based on a true story about the aftermath returned in place of someone's child after being abducted by a Monster.

But it seems I also struggle with me attention span, it's rather long-ish now, probably since surgery to repair the caused to me brain from the numerous strokes I have suffered over the past few months.

The titanium plate and screws are probably not helping the flow, surely they're too screwed.

Anyway, thank yer fer the rating and suggestions, Amatayo, and believe I will definitely work on me flow problem, and see if maybe I can shorten me attention span a bit.

Yeah, I gotta keep swimmin' in this un fer awhile,

Aye, practice makes Poetry.

Ding, fries are done...

See yer,

Pollyester
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Posted by Sad Sara
2008-06-29 12:15:36
Thank yer Flossy

*Gasps*

Stopped yer in yer tracks?

Uh-oh, that not good news fer flow issue I have.

It okay though, I not embarrassed to talk about it, there's no shame in stopping tracks.

Thank you again Flossy, that nice fer yer to read me Poem and leave such fun comment.

Keep well,

'Anna

(Psst..Max, did yer read what Flossy wrote about me Poem stopping tracks? See? I tol' yer Amatayo was spot on with his Flow-etic assessment of Poem here I write. Oh, and yeah, hehe, as a matter of fact I am back on me pain meds again.

Thanks fer noticing Max, that so nice of yer. Aye perceptive un yer are. Bye Max, talk to yer later.)
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Posted by Sad Sara
2008-06-29 12:28:50
Hi Phil

Thank yer so much fer leave such thoughtful and intriguing review Phil.

Do yer remember what show called?

I would love to see it, that's cool.

No, yer not old or that old either.

Yer juss old enough to remember yer see show that yer talk to me about and old enough to ferget name of it.

Oh, and if that makes sense what I juss said then…

Err...

I kid!

Hehe, but seriously, thank yer so much Phil, and I really would like to see that show.

Keep well,

'Anna

(Psst, hey Max, it me again. See? I tol' yer I'd see yer later, I not kid about something like that.)
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Posted by flossy
2008-06-29 15:02:04
....

Dunno if you saw a film called Memento.But see it.Vaguely Simular to this but worth watching.Very depressing but bloody good film.Im back on track now.Goodluck.
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Posted by Pilgrim
2008-06-29 15:20:47
....

Excellent. Awesome read.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-06-29 18:07:00
....

monumental poem here for sure!!

i had no problem with the length of this or the rhythm. i thought the length and the flow you were able to sustian throughout was the best about this piece.
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Posted by June Eclipsis
2008-06-30 07:04:06
Truly amazing

It is quite remarkable that you can write on so many topics. Darkness, light, happiness, depression, death, cancer, sickness, childhood, old age.

This was an excellent piece. Wonderfully done.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-06-30 19:59:17
....

There's really not enough nice things I can say about your work! I think the dad made a mistake, but it was the right choice based on what he thought the girl was telling him.
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Posted by lemon
2008-06-30 20:30:29
....

This is a great poem. thats all I can say.
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Posted by r.e.potter
2008-07-06 12:00:27
Good EEEEvening

This was the same plot as a Hitchcock thriller in the 60's. Only it was a husband and wife. But having said that, all stories are retold over and over, just in a different way and style. Your poems are always a great story inside the poem. If you never saw the episode, and thought of this yourself...bravo...hell, bravo regardless.
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