The sounds have all but stopped.

My existence  an after thought.

I'm blindfoulded to the world and all its scenic spots.

Detached.

My sub-conscious is dead.

My spirit never fed.

For all my senses I start to beg.

Detached.

I stay motionless without a thought.

My breaths have all stopped.

And the inside of my body have begun to rot.

Detached.

Keyword: Detached

Report this story | Add to Favorites | Send to Friends | Author's Profile

No Comments posted

Comments (8)

Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-06-28 09:44:16 .... yea, it's a good feeling isn't it. starting to lose all control from yourself and things around you. + Report this comment
Posted by Kasi 2008-06-28 10:32:25 .... Great use of words, I think this one has to be one of your better poems, But I haven't gotten a chance to read them all yet. + Report this comment
Posted by ams 2008-06-28 10:40:24 .... i was going to say the same as Kasi. I've read a good amount of your poems and this seems to be one of the bests of your work. + Report this comment
Posted by lemon 2008-06-28 11:49:03 .... This one was good, but I'd run a spell check over it. 'blindfoulded' should be blindfolded. also 'and the inside of my body have begun to rot' should be either the insideS of my body have begun to rot or the inside of my body HAS begun to rot. there was a lot of feeling in this one though =] + Report this comment
Posted by alfred 2008-06-28 11:51:29 .... sorry, but i feel a little detached from this poem. Didn't quite understand + Report this comment
Posted by Pilgrim 2008-06-28 14:22:21 .... We grow closer to the truth only to the extent that we grow further away from life. -Socrates I believe this can apply. + Report this comment
Posted by Sad Sara 2008-06-29 03:10:22 Aye That explains a lot. Cool, (take that as cold) verse. Keep well, 'Anna + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-06-29 04:47:40 .... I think you are starting to really get a poetic streak going. keep writing man, dont get detached + Report this comment

Post a comment

Post a comment