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Keeping it Untied


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Written by Alvin De La Fuente   
Thursday, 26 June 2008
 

It was exactly two months prior the court hearing when Carrie found her husband on the floor naked and unconscious. George was in an awkward position suggesting that he fell on the spot. His right knee was flexed and his left was twisted outward and extended. His head turned to the side while his shoulders dropped the opposite. The fact that he was in unlikely position, it didn't suggest though that there was a scene of struggle prior his out cold state because everything in the family room was in place. There was no toppled vase, no disarranged furniture and even the fragile figurine in the center table was never touched. It never came to Carrie all these details. All she wanted that moment is to know if her husband is okay.

 

Upon seeing George, she immediately knelt down and checked his wrist for a pulse. She was glad to feel a dull throb. He's alive. She thought. Then she realized too that George was also breathing. Carrie hurried to the wall where the phone is mounted and quickly dialed the emergency number. The voice prompt said the number is temporarily unavailable. Carrie found it weird because emergency numbers are always accessible.  She checked the number on the LED screen only to find out that she dialed a pizza hotline. When she was about to dial the correct number, she heard something from the kitchen.

 

She was terrified.

 

Carrie dropped the receiver and headed to the kitchen. She can hear her heart pounding. Her steps became shorter and slower as she approached the kitchen When she got there, it was empty. But the backdoor out to the yard is opened. Then suddenly she heard a shrill thud back in the family room. "Oh ****!" she whispered. She immediately ran back where George was lying but he was not there anymore. "George!" Carrie screamed as she grasped for air. She ran to the  window to see if the culprit got her husband. But to her surprise, Carrie saw George, still naked, running towards the red car. Seconds later, a naked girl jumped in too and the car screeched its way out to the main road.

 

IT WAS IRRESISTIBLE though for Carrie to look at her husband across the court room looking really gorgeous in his sky blue shirt and pink tie. When George caught her looking at him, she quickly glanced down the paper in her hand pretending that she was reading it. Carrie's lawyer whispered to her something, "You are reading it upside down."

 

She was embarrassed.

 

After two hours the decision was out. Carrie and George are finally divorced.

 

After a few words from her lawyer, Carrie approached her ex-husband to wish him well but found it difficult to begin her statement, "Oh... well... yeah! Finally, it's official."

 

            "Yeah, it is." George replied and continued, "Good luck on your new job. Terry mentioned to me that you got a writing position at Elle's."

            Carrie can't help but to smile, "Thank you. How about you? Still keeping the old career?"

 

            "Yes."

 

            "I thought you were looking for a better paying job?" Carrie knew it wasn't the best question to ask.

 

            "Well..." George raised his shoulders, "now that we are divorced, I don't think I need to find one yet. You know, I already moved to a smaller place and I'm living on my own now."

 

            She was disappointed with what George has said. It seemed to her that she's the reason why he cannot save money because his salary goes to the rent and his obligation to her. To retaliate verbally, Carrie said her final words to him, "Yeah I agree. I'm sure now that you are free from financial obligations and the fact you are dating the girl with a red Camaro, your savings will blow up"

 

            Carrie immediately walked her way out the courtroom. When she got outside, she lit a cigarette and vanished in the crowd.



Copyright 2008 Alvin De La Fuente
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Comments (8)
Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-06-26 22:03:08
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this story was just boring to me. you didn't know anything about the characters and because of that you didn't care about the ending.
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Posted by flossy
2008-06-27 00:07:55
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gotta agree with the resistance.Just did'nt get this.A naked girl, do you mean woman.Maybe change the story a tad.Make it a bit more appealing.Your grammar seemed fine and the descriptions are not too bad.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-06-27 01:22:55
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Im a bit confused by this tale. The husband ran away with the girl? So why was he unconscious? wha?
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Posted by albinopoy
2008-06-27 02:23:19
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Thank you for the criticsms. This is my best effort to narrate the story in a foreign language. The girl who, should I refer woman and the man were making out. When they heard the wife coming, the woman ran to the kitchen, while the man pretended that he was unconscious because he didnt have the time to hide from his wife.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-06-27 08:03:50
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Oh! Well in that case, thats pretty funny. Quick thinking on his part
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Posted by JJtyler
2008-06-27 08:23:28
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I liked the twist where the guy was pretending to be hurt.

I'm not sure why no one above got that.

Do you speak English as a second language?

Keep writing.
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-06-28 00:27:57
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I got that the guy was faking when he ran off into the car. I think this needs cleaned up a little ie you go from past to present a couple of times. Then again if you're working on your english you can't be blamed. I would never be able to write something in another language. Nice job.
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Posted by jienee
2008-07-01 21:32:02
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Hmmm, not bad... not bad at all. Besides the fact that he's trying to keep it short and put all the details in it. I agree with JJtyler, I liked the twist that the guy was faking it. Well, the ending...I like it that way, sorry we woman get revenge in the most simplest ways. "dating the girl with a red Camaro, your savings will blow up"
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